the Doors board is no more

[Hoon]

Threesome's are more awkward than they are sexy. I know, I participated in a MMF, once.

[GonzoStyle]

when you were fornicating over DOT!

[Goatweed]

ew

[Hoon]

It wasn't planned out.
It just sort of happened. It was so unexpected I just went along with it because I felt I had to.

[The Prodigal Son]

So, the did whole thing end with a swordfight, winner gets the moneyshot?

[GonzoStyle]

and in the MMF, dot was the other man.

[Hoon]

No, I went limp in the middle of it.
I pretended I was too drunk to continue and left to take a shower.

When I got out they were still fucking so I layed down on the couch and fell asleep. I awaoke to this bitch giving me a kiss and I'm pretty sure if this bitch was willing to participate in a threesome, that she wasn't particular about brushing her teeth before kissing someone.

[GonzoStyle]

with cummy lips!

[The Prodigal Son]

Two bottles of listerine at least

[GonzoStyle]

yeah I loved this one girl cause she'd never even ask, she kept the mouth wash right by the bed at all times and a small bottle in her purse.

good woman

[Hoon]

I was disgusted by it. Not only did I touch legs with my buddy during the three way but now, I had his dick crystals all over my face!

I could've hit the bitch but I didn't want to get blood on my buddy's carpet. Otherwise he would have to make up a reason why when his wife returned Sunday night. Yeah.... his wife!

[GonzoStyle]

ooooh man, good stuff.

You really shoulda told this story in the random memories thread

[Hoon]

Heres the story and my friends from the DB can verify it's accuracy as I've told it in the past.

So my buddy, Robby gets free for a weekend because his now ex-wife went away for the weekend. This cat was supressed and beaten down by this bitch so I knew when he got out he was going to go crazy. So we go out and it was a holiday weekend so a lot of people I hadn't seen in years were home spending time with their families.

At the bar I run into this bitch I knew in high school named Heather. This bitch was too good for me in high school and never payed me the time of day. Well, when I saw her she acted like we were old buddies. She told me about moving to Gerogia, getting pregnent and having the guy leave her after she told him. The kid was about 8 months old now and she was single, no doubt looking for a daddy.

We spent the night getting pretty comfortable with each pother and let me tell you her body was as tight and banging as it was in high school. She had really short hair which normally I hate but she had the face that could pull it off. Anyway, we end up back at my buddies house which is super nice and there's random people scattered all through the house. As I said before, my buddy Rob never gets out so now that he's off the leash, he is super loaded. Acting a fool, throwing furniture around and just being belligerent.

Heather and I are in the kitchen alone and the next thing I know she's on me, making out with me. She wasn't interested in small talk. Loving the informality I led her to the bedroom where she just got herself naked. I mean I didn't have to work for shit. Sensing her desperation I feel free enough to do some pretty nasty shit I wouldn't try with a girl who slightly intimidated me. I pull her on top of me, grab her but the ass and yank her up and start munching on her honey pot. She's loving it, man. Moving her hips getting into it and this bitch starts talking dirty.

I've never experienced that before. It was surreal.
I had a girlfriend at the time and Heather is talking to me really angry like. You know clinching her teeth and talking through them, only moving her lips saying shit like, "Does Denise's pussy taste that good? Huh? does she grind on it like this?"

I don't know what to say. I start freaking out. I'm wondering if she's expecting me to answer back. So I just start saying "MMMMM" and "yeah baby".
Anyway, I flip her over and I start fucking her. It's going well, I'm railing her and she's loving it. Still talking to me saying, "Is Denise this tight? Does Denise like it like this? Fuck me like you'd fuck Denise". Super hot, right? Yeah, I know.

So we do this for awhile and I hear the fucking bedroom door open and I know, it's my drunken buddy Robby looking to go to bed. But me and Heather keep going at it. The room is pitch black, I mean there's no eye adjustment to the light, shit is BLACK. I don't hear Robby moving around so I figured he's standing behind us watching. Kinda creepy but Heather is still talking and I'm still saying "MMMM" and "yeah baby" as I'm raling her misisionary style.

Then it happens. HRUMPH! I feel the bed dip down.
Fucking Robby just sat on the bed right next to her head. I know any minute now she's going to start freaking out and yelling at him so I start hitting it harder to get a few more strokes in before it's ruined but it never comes. She stops talking and I'm wondering wtf is going on. Does she know? Does she care?

Then it happens. I hear a sucking sound. A loud blast of escaping air from her mouth and it hits me, HE'S GOT HIS DICK IN HER MOUTH! I coudn't believe it was happning so I kept going. I started thinking about porno's I'd seen this in and start imaginging their position is uncomfrotable and awkward. So like any good friend I pull out, flip that bitch around on her knees and start taking her from behind. She plugs his hog in her mouth and we're off to the races. It's great for awhile, I'm slapping her ass, and she's making weird noises so I know she's really going down on him pretty hard.

Then it happens, we touch legs, Robby and I.
Immediately all the sexiness was sucked out of the room and I feel it effecting my hard on right off the bat. It's a sinking ship and I'm not stopping it. I keep trying to reposition my legs so I don't touch him but it's no use. I'm pretty much as limp as I can get now and I can't even pretend I'm still fucking her. She pulls Robby's cock out of her mouth long enough to look back at me and say, "What are you doing? Fuck me".

Now her talk isn't sexy. It's actually kinda trashy and gross. So I say, "I drank too much. I'm going to go hop in the shower real quick. I'll be right back".

So I leave and hop in the shower. I'm in there for 15 minutes trying to will myself back into sexing shape but it just ain't happening, man. I'm done for the night. I walk out and stop at the bedroom to hear what's going on and sure enough, Robby's still fucking her and she's talking filthy shit to him, too.

I laid on the couch and don't even remember falling aslep. Next thing I know I wake up with this bitch kissing me and it's almost daylight out. She talks to me about coming to Georgia in a few weeks to visit her which apparently I told her I'd do the night before. I'm like "yeah, yeah, I'll see you then". Then she has the nerve to say, "You never know. You might like it and stay". I say, "Maybe".
Then I start thinking is this bitch serious? Is she really still trying to trap me into becoming her babies step daddy after she just did that shit with me and my best friend a few hours before? Does she really think she has a slice of hope to bag me now? HAHAHAHA.

Needless to say, when Robby came downstairs we laughed and laughed and to this day we talk about that night and how fucked up it all was. So yeah, that's the whole story.

[Abster]

WAIT!! Ilene's here???

[funsnapsdyno]

I heard the Hoon 3-some story on the DB before but some things were left out. Now it's like all TMI and stuff!

[GonzoStyle]

sorry but I can't believe a line of his story after reading the first sentence

Heres the story and my friends from the DB can verify it's accuracy

you have no friends from DB ruiner!

[Hoon]

I challlenged them to call me out on any discrepancies and none of them did. A big endorsement of me since ex-db'ers hate me!

[Abster]

I only hate you on Mondays

[GonzoStyle]

I bet jim morrison would approve of Hoon, cause Hoon is a rebel.

[Keyser Soze]

old jim wouldnt go complain to some admin like a little stool pigeon.