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Displaying 1-22 of 22 messages in this thread. |
| Posted By | Discussion Topic: Worst Job in the world | ||||
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| LordViolence | posted on 04-18-2002 @ 12:29 PM |    | |||
| Hanger-On Registered: Feb. 02  | A little late for this I know, but I was in my car during the show yesterday and don't have a cell :( Anyways: When you have had one of those 'Take This Job And Shove It' days, try this - On your way home after work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the section where they have thermometers. You will need to purchase a rectal thermometer made by "Q-tip". Be sure that you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the drapes, and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed during your therapy. Change to very comfortable clothing, such as a sweat suit and lie down on your bed. Open the package containing the thermometer, remove the thermometer, and carefully place it on the bedside table so that it will not become chipped or broken. Take the written material that accompanies the thermometer and as you read it you will notice in small print the statement that says "every rectal thermometer made by Q-tip is PERSONALLY tested. Now close your eyes and say out loud five times, "I am so glad that I do not work in quality control at the Q-tip company." I rather cut the balls off of a horse than have something up my ass! "Night will come and I will follow... for my victims no tomorrow... make it fast in time of sorrow... on his trail I'll make you follow... quarters for the criminally insane" | ||||
| JGNYC Mirc's Dalnet #opieanthony | posted on 04-18-2002 @ 12:31 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Sep. 00 | Thanks for the info!
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USA Autoban Head Slap... Swim Move... | posted on 04-18-2002 @ 12:32 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Oct. 00 | I'll take your word for it. | ||||
| Drusilla fag-hag | posted on 04-18-2002 @ 12:33 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Aug. 01 | ok terrific | ||||
| RottenVinny I have no fucking clue what happened to Sluggo667. VinnyWS6: chicks? they dont have the penis so why would i care about them VinnyWS6: froy is quite hansome VinnyWS6: I want froys cock! | posted on 04-18-2002 @ 12:42 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Jun. 01 |  This message was edited by RottenVinny on 4-18-02 @ 12:48 PM | ||||
I Need An Old Priest And A Young Priest | posted on 04-18-2002 @ 12:51 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | Even worse is the guy that has to clean it. opieanthony.com; Like a retarded yoyo, you will keep coming back. "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times" Charles Dickens Over The Limit | ||||
| Alison Stern | posted on 04-18-2002 @ 12:53 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Sep. 00 | This thread proves one thing... There is someone out there with W-A-Y too much time on their hands today. | ||||
| Syndrummer LOOK!! All my "N"s are capitalized!!! | posted on 04-18-2002 @ 1:10 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Mar. 02 | That paragraph has been printed in so many magazines word for word. Its so old. | ||||
| CarsonOGin Froy seems ok, Faceman is fair. But Slash is a cunt, FTL is a total soccer mom, JoeyBigArms thinks he's a fucking message board god. | posted on 04-18-2002 @ 1:20 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Dec. 01 | Ha, that Q-Tip story is weak, read this one... Next time you have a bad day at work...think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an e-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to 'Laughline', who were sponsoring a "worst job experience" contest...... Needless to say, she won. " Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. Which sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a damn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is I take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my bum started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my a*se started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my bum was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into my ass. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he along with 5 other divers were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make 3 agonizing in-water decompression stops totalling 35 minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my bum as soon as I get in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't sh*t for 2 days because my a*sehole was swollen shut. So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your a*se......" If you have heard this story before, know of a similar one of have more information on the 'facts' of this, let us know. This certainly made my day ! :)
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| Syndrummer LOOK!! All my "N"s are capitalized!!! | posted on 04-18-2002 @ 1:31 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Mar. 02 | quote: | ||||
| RottenVinny I have no fucking clue what happened to Sluggo667. VinnyWS6: chicks? they dont have the penis so why would i care about them VinnyWS6: froy is quite hansome VinnyWS6: I want froys cock! | posted on 04-18-2002 @ 2:34 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Jun. 01 | Carson, Did you ever hear about the scuba diver they found in the woods? | ||||
| CarsonOGin Froy seems ok, Faceman is fair. But Slash is a cunt, FTL is a total soccer mom, JoeyBigArms thinks he's a fucking message board god. | posted on 04-18-2002 @ 2:48 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Dec. 01 | Visit this Website Yeah, been there done that too... Visit this Website
This message was edited by CarsonOGin on 4-18-02 @ 3:04 PM | ||||
| JerseyTeabagger | posted on 04-18-2002 @ 7:52 PM | | |||
| Hanger-On Registered: Dec. 00 | a Worse job (and it's real) - JIZZ-MOPPER at Peep World | ||||
| krahzee | posted on 04-18-2002 @ 8:39 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Mar. 02 | I once saw a story on some guy who dives into sewage tanks to fix mechanical problems at the treatment plants. He wears a fully body suit and works in very low visability with all sorts of stuff floating in there including needles, shit, ect.... This message was edited by krahzee on 4-18-02 @ 8:45 PM | ||||
| pinkkitty | posted on 04-18-2002 @ 9:14 PM | | |||
| Hanger-On Registered: Dec. 01 | This isn't as gross as the other jobs or anything, but why do guys who work at those clinics were guys have to give random urine samples (for drug tests and the like) even apply for that position.....WHY WOULD A GUY WANT TO WATCH ANOTHER GUY PISS IN A CUP AND SEE HIS JUNK IN THE MIRROR......I THINK THAT COULD BE CONSIDERED A HOMOSEXUAL ACT !!! :eek: | ||||
| barch97 BBTB The barch gots lots a dick I kind of enjoy my anonymity on the board WOW Forum Ambassador | posted on 04-18-2002 @ 10:05 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Jul. 00 | Just how homophobic are you that you're afraide to have a rectal thermometer in your ass? I mean it's not like a dildo... it's smaller than a pencil. And, I can get like 15 pencils in before I even start to fee... whoops! was that out loud?  Long Live the "Syndication Underground" | ||||
| crx girl Newbie! vg Y's me ugo girl Limey Mothercocker | posted on 04-19-2002 @ 6:27 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | i've had several crappy jobs. a thermometer up the ass doesn't seem so bad :-D need me? try: crxgirl@opieanthony.com | ||||
| barch97 BBTB The barch gots lots a dick I kind of enjoy my anonymity on the board WOW Forum Ambassador | posted on 04-19-2002 @ 9:19 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Jul. 00 | Hell, it would be a bonus at some of the jobs I've had. Long Live the "Syndication Underground" | ||||
| jersey | posted on 04-19-2002 @ 11:11 AM | | |||
| Hanger-On Registered: Sep. 00 | i used to deliver phone books.... and i used to ref soccer... and when i was on crack i used to suck Dick on christoper street... AIDS world's strongest fat burner. aim= Lousir81  Fighting for your freedom of expreesion and nude teens across the tri-state area. | ||||
| barch97 BBTB The barch gots lots a dick I kind of enjoy my anonymity on the board WOW Forum Ambassador | posted on 04-19-2002 @ 11:24 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Jul. 00 | QUICK!!! Someone call the sig police. Long Live the "Syndication Underground" | ||||
| Ferret | posted on 04-19-2002 @ 11:24 AM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Oct. 00 | How about Oprah's personal chef | ||||
| pantee man Another asshole Isles fan who didn't say shit until they started winning. | posted on 04-19-2002 @ 12:30 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Feb. 02 | quote: hey dont worry not only did i suck dick on macdougal street i took big hairy black cock in my ass too, and this was only for cigarettes  | ||||
Displaying 1-22 of 22 messages in this thread. |