Home | Search | FAQ
Page
1
2
 Displaying 1-25 of 31 messages in this thread. |
| Posted By | Discussion Topic: **An Oldie*** Worst Pranks You Ever Pulled Part 2: (Gonzo's Infamous Kitty Litter Prank) | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| GonzoStyle | posted on 08-31-2001 @ 2:36 AM |    | |||
| Hanger-On Registered: Jan. 70  | A lot of people have been asking me for months to re-post this classic gonzo story. I did this about 7 months ago or so on the old board. I was talking to psycho bitch and figured might as well do it. Now this is true this is not just a story. I have pulled many pranks but this one is my best one. Now let's get to it. I spent a couple weeks at my cousins house one summer a few years back in jersey. Now my cousin is a cool guy but he has a cat who he loves more than anyone in this world. It made me sick truthfully he treated this cat like a woman he loved. He slept with it, (not literally) he fed it exquisite foods he pampered it better than most people live. So one day i was taking a morning piss and i noticed the kitty litter box. Now i remembered this prank from many years before. I saw the little kitty shit in it so i grabbed some toilet paper and emptied out the litter box. Next day same thing this time for added enjoyment i used his mother's rubber gloves that she dyed her hair with, lol. Now on the 4th day he comes to me and he is worried. "hey man i am worried about the kitty he hasnt taken a shit in 4 days now man." I was concerned, yeah right so he took the kitty to the vet, vet said seemed fine and gave the cat some laxatives. Now my cousin was an emotional wreck he didn't go out, he couldnt eat or sleep. This is how much he loved the fuckin cat. He fed it by hand to make sure it ate but i continued to empty that litter box, he would put fresh litter in everyday too. I would check that box every 15-30 mins to make sure. Then comes day 7 and 8 i eat the most roughest foods dry foods and food that makes you shit well. I had bran flakes in the morning, mexican for lunch and for dinner more mexican, lol. Next day i get up and grab the litter box and place it on the toilet and squat and take the longest nastiest dump. Looked like a gorillas penis when i was done, long and really dark, i call the cat over. This wasnt too pleasant but for added drame i took the gloves and wiped some of the shit on the cats ass. Then i went back to bed and i am awoken by the screams of "HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!" i run to the hallway there is my cousin sweating like a whore in church pacing back and forth and mumbling to himself. That sight was worth all of the effort of almost 8 days of work, he is just holding the side of his head with one hand and pointing with the other and mumbling shit i couldn't understand. He points to the bathroom i go in and i look there is the cat with the poop on it's ass walking around and a piece of shit in the litter box that's bigger than the entire cat. he totally lost it he scrubbed that cat for what seemed like hours on end and then bagged the shit and drove to the vet, lmao. I had to drag him out of the vets before he locked my cousin up in a loony bin, lol waving a sandwich bag with a huge clump of shit around a vet s office, hahaha. Well hope you enjoyed that i know i did, ahahahaahah  I wanna slit your throat and fuck the wound I wanna push my face in and feel the swoon My wormwood meets your pesticide You'll never get out, coz you were never alive I am infinite, I am the infant finite Come a little closer and I'll show you why She-Mail Me Here | ||||
| GonzoStyle | posted on 08-31-2001 @ 2:41 AM | | |||
| Hanger-On Registered: Jan. 70 | ok now this one is the worst thing i ever done and the only thing i can honestly say i regret doing. Please don't fear me after this one, lol It was my friend dougs birthday 4 years ago i was 19. I was the only one who had a car so i picked everyone up and we went out. We got hammered beyond belief i sobered up and drove almost everyone home. I have two other people in my car doug and another friend. Now doug wants to get a blow job from a hooker by where i live. so hey it's his birthday whatever he said i can pick cause he can't see straight. Now doug is married for those of you wondering and he is about 26 now so he was 22 at the time. So who does gonzo pick? who else but a black chick to blow doug who doesn't care at this point who blows him, shit i coulda blown him haha. So blah blah she gets in i give her 20 bucks and she blows him 45 seconds later she is done, lol. I turn to doug and ask him "how was it?" he replies, "ooh god that was great" I say great now go home and tell your wife you just got blown by a man in womans clothing, lmao. He turned beet red and i flicked on the interior lights and he went for the grab and looked at "her" face and he lost it. He starts beating the "it" and i get out and grab him and no if's, ands, or buts he clocks me in the jaw breaking it and his hand as well, lol. Funniest part was explaining to the ambulance workers why he punched me, and why a hooker called 911 for us, lol. IT'S FUNNY CAUSE IT'S NOT ME AND I DIDNT HAVE MAN LIPS ON MY JUNK, LOL. I wanna slit your throat and fuck the wound I wanna push my face in and feel the swoon My wormwood meets your pesticide You'll never get out, coz you were never alive I am infinite, I am the infant finite Come a little closer and I'll show you why She-Mail Me Here This message was edited by GonzoStyle on 8-31-01 @ 2:59 AM | ||||
| Unicron | posted on 08-31-2001 @ 2:57 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Mar. 01 | Oh...My...God... | ||||
| fbdlingfrg wow, my name looks odd without 5 lines of type below it in bold and purple and red G.O.O.F.B.A.H.G.S. Red Wings Captain Cecil JBA~Remove the Pick & Click NOW! | posted on 08-31-2001 @ 3:00 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | story #1-fucking classic, but i was still laughing my ass off story #2-i dont remember if you posted it before, but that was hillarious.blowjob from a guy to somebody else=always funny  i may be a little catholic boy, but i'm still HLJC 4 LIFE! | ||||
| njstrawberry | posted on 08-31-2001 @ 3:01 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Feb. 01 |  I WAS BI WHEN BEING BI WASN'T KEWL DON'T UNDER ESTIMATE THE PSYCHO FACTOR IN MY HEAD | ||||
| GonzoStyle | posted on 08-31-2001 @ 3:11 AM | | |||
| Hanger-On Registered: Jan. 70 | quote: ooh please don't be surprised it's me remember, lol. and if you are offended i hope you get raped by an escaped lunatic with HIV. I wanna slit your throat and fuck the wound I wanna push my face in and feel the swoon My wormwood meets your pesticide You'll never get out, coz you were never alive I am infinite, I am the infant finite Come a little closer and I'll show you why She-Mail Me Here | ||||
| katya_ann That's Miss Jesus Cooze to you! | posted on 08-31-2001 @ 4:25 AM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Apr. 01 | My mom: Why do you spend so much time on that damn board?! Me: Uhm.... The stimulating conversation and the amusing annecdotes... Seriously, this was fuckin' hilarious. This is just what I needed to read tonight. Thank you soooo much!   Walk it off, deek... | ||||
| Black Lazerus | posted on 08-31-2001 @ 8:51 AM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: May. 01 | This is one I pulled yesterday on a guy at work first i sent him a email from a site looking like this Dear Pat (edit), Unfortunately we have been unable to contact you by telephone and we need to let you know of a misunderstanding that occurred with a parcel we attempted to deliver to your house. We tried to deliver a small plain parcel to your house containing very sensitive material. However, due to the package being poorly marked we actually delivered the material to the people living next door. Assuming the parcel was for them, they took the delivery into their home. Upon establishing that an error had occurred, the following day, our delivery driver returned to your street, but was not able to remember where he had delivered the parcel. Obviously, with the parcel containing highly sensitive adult material from Amsterdam in Europe, this could become quite embarrassing. We would like to take this moment to express a sincere apology for the misunderstanding and hope this does not deteriorate the relationship you have with the other people in your community. We have spoken to the vendor of the material who assures us that they will be re-sending the material again. Sorry for the inconvenience we have caused you Arnold Resnick Triple X Couriers He then replied saying this If you would like to talk to me call me at work (908) 725-**** ext. ****. I'm not hard to get in touch with. You didn't have a problem getting my e-mail address you should not have a problem reaching me by phone. So i call him i speak to him ask him if we can send the package to his job he asked what was in the package and who ordered it i tell it was sent as a gift from Joe(his roomate) and it was already paid for it was Sex toys magazines and oils he pauses and then gets angry says i don't think you should send that to my house i say but sitr the package has been sent out and its paid for why not give them to some one if you don't need them he repeats that i should not send them then i let him in on the joke . the whole office laughed because the look on his face classic. The Leader Of The Black Revolutionary Army Have 2 spots for Revolutionaries E-mail me @ snakeyes_08873@yahoo.com | ||||
| Tequila Fez claims this land in the name of Portugal! Why worry about the train if it never makes it around the tracks?? IrishAlkey wuz here!!! | posted on 08-31-2001 @ 8:55 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Jan. 01 | quote:  AOL/AIM - oanda1027fm | ||||
| Numb Nutts | posted on 08-31-2001 @ 9:04 AM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Aug. 01 | When I read the title of this thread, a few good pranks I have pulled came to mind. But this is a though act to follow. Fucking histerical | ||||
| MaynardGKrebs | posted on 08-31-2001 @ 9:40 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Jan. 01 | Thanks Gonz. The kitty litter trick had me laughing my ass off. | ||||
| Unicron | posted on 08-31-2001 @ 9:57 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Mar. 01 | Not offended...just......in awe of genius. God bless your sick lil mind gonzo, i hope to be 1/10th as disturbing as you one day. | ||||
| Dawgs47 | posted on 08-31-2001 @ 10:23 AM | | |||
| Hanger-On Registered: Nov. 00 | And I thought ordering a soda and throwing it back inside the window was a good prank, Gonzo has shown us all the light. Enrolled in the King F-tard school of disobedience | ||||
| Drunken GW I Pissed on a Church to get this Status. | posted on 08-31-2001 @ 10:34 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Dec. 00 | Fart = funny Shit = more funny Something my one friend seems to do. Don't ever open the ice bucket that is mysteriousley left in front of your hotel door. My friend has a nack for dumping in ice buckets and knocking and running. Person comes out to look, curiosity gets em an they have to open the bucket. Whamo! Hot lunches for all. Also leaving a floater in the toilet is a great way to piss off a roomate. Try it and see. See, shit does equal more funny.:)  Proud Member of the S.T.O.N.E.R./Swillers Alliance. | ||||
| F the S out of her A | posted on 08-31-2001 @ 10:35 AM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Jun. 01 | Gonzo, not to burst your bubble (or earn myself a strike), but George Clooney told that exact story on "The Tonight Show" more than five years ago. As for the second story... truly classic. Mine: The executive upper-decker. The term upper-decker comes from Greaseman, so forgive me. It is when you shit in the tank, and not the bowl. The stench becomes unbelievable after a few days and the toilet water is always brown. My executive upper-decker happened in the executive washroom at a job interview where I was low-balled. When they offered me about twelve grand less than my minimum, I excused myself, conjured up a brown grunt sculpture and did it in his tank. The best part about that is that the interviewer can't call and ask if I did it. My appearance- neat, suit, etc. - also creates enough doubt. It was a few years ago and I left the industry, so I doubt our paths will cross again. The guy was a tool who eventually drove that company into the ground, so I would imagine he is managing a Wendy's or something... That's mine. "You take tuberculosis - my smoking doesn't go over there at all." | ||||
| Shelle Bink True star of the celebrity softball game: the redhead in section 101. | posted on 08-31-2001 @ 11:35 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Jul. 01 | This isn't the worst, but the only one I can share without getting the cops involved. I was younger, maybe in 8th grade ((fuck, that was a longer time ago than I thought)) and my friend was in lunch finishing up a project. With white paint. She finished, and walked back into the art class where the assignment was overdue. She left the paint. I walked into the girls' bathroom, and proceeded to place this slow drying paint ((it wasn't usual paint, something made the consistancy thick and slow drying.)) on all the toilet seats. I walked out as a group of the cliquey popular girls I want to vomit on walked in. I waited, pretending to be thumbing through a math book ((that had to be suspicious to anyone walking by)) I waited some more, and heard screams from the bathroom. One chick was wearing a skirt, and you could see the lower part of the "o" on her thighs. I laughed, but somehow wasn't caught. Ok, my story sucked, but I'll share the better ones if I like you.  WOWing Gets You Things... Listen To The PennyRoyals It's better to burn out than fade away | ||||
| Arthur Dent | posted on 08-31-2001 @ 1:03 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Nov. 00 | I mentioned this one on the old board: Step 1: Take a roll of toilet paper and unroll a few feet. Step 2: Take a stick of deoderant and wipe it on the unrolled length of toilet paper Step 3: Let dry Step 4: Re-roll toilet paper. Step 5: Put in bathroom The deoderant is fine on normal skin, but when it comes in contact with the delicate tissue of an anus, it burns like hell.  "When I was born I was so surprised I couldn't talk for a year and a half." - Gracie Allen A much wittier reply came to mind immediately after I clicked the 'Send' button. I have GRADUATED VooDude. Room for two adoptees. | ||||
| TeenWeek what's a status? | posted on 08-31-2001 @ 1:12 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | This one happened to me, but it was funny as hell looking back. My freshman year in College, I roomed with (swear to God I am not being racist here) a fat putrid looking Black japanese guy who would watch japenese cartoons in his underwear. I hated his goddamn guts. I brought back friends to drink and a girl and my place just stunk from his disgusitng odor. We were roommates for maybe a month. The practical joke part of the story comes from a guy I became friends with who was I going to room with. He has shit in a sock and froze it outside the ledge of his dormroom (it was winter). he than threw it in the top of my roommates closet. After a day or 2 it started to thaw out and it really started to stink. I got in fights with my roomate to fucking shower , wear deodorant or something. Finally after like a day of it really stinking, he confessed and through out the sock. I was pissed but laughing at the same time. To get him back (this was before I moved in), after a night of heavy drinking, I destroyed his door, with ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, shaving cream, dish washing detergent, everything and everything. It stunk the entire hallway up. To top it all off, we filled a garbage bag that had some garbage in it and filled it with water and shaving cream. We stuck the opening under the door and stomped on the bag. All the contents of the garbage bag flooded his room. When we were roommates we used to have thong fights (hard rubber things you wear on your feet in showers). We would get an audience of about 10-15 people and there would be rounds. We beat the shit out of each other with the thongs. I kicked his ass every time. The guys would place bets and my RA was there egging us on. It was basically to settle any time we had a bad argument and a way of killing each other without actual fist fighting.  | ||||
| MaynardGKrebs | posted on 08-31-2001 @ 1:35 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Jan. 01 | quote: That sounds soooooo gay. My friend told me what they do to people at his school (Ithaca). They make a pee disc. Take a coffee can lid, and fill it with pee. Then freeqe it. When the person is sleeping, slide it under their door pee side down. The pee will defrost, and melt in a puddle on the floor. Leaving a nice wet spot and some stinky pee. | ||||
| Numb Nutts | posted on 08-31-2001 @ 1:51 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Aug. 01 | A couple years ago I started a new job. My start date was the same as this other guy who I eventually became friends with. There was a problem though, everytime something good happened to me he got very jealous. Our direct supvisor also noticed this, he actually initiated the prank I am about to tell. Well one day our Supervisor started sending people in all day to give me congradulations on my promotion. He even sent the VP Sales in to shake my hand and say "I am looking forward to working FOR you." All day this guy would not even make eye contact with me. Everytime someone would come inj to congradulations he would suddenly need to go have a cigarette. To top it all off my supervisor even went out to get a big ice cream cake and held a little party for me. Finally after everyone praised me and enjoyed a piece of cake, our supervisor pulled out a little cup cake and said "this is for the fine work you have done" After a brief moment where he looked like he was going to kill someone, the truth was let out. He tried to play it off and said things like "what? how is this a joke on me? I was happy for him?" But everyone in the office knew he was jealous all day. | ||||
| Sluggo667 SLASH's New Buddy, but shhh... I am not allowed to tell anyone. | posted on 08-31-2001 @ 2:41 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Apr. 01 | quote:Not to burst his bubble?!? You burst our bubbles! Why'd you have to go and ROOOIN IT?!? And GONZO...Let that be a lesson to you... Don't tell George Clooney anymore good stories... He's only gonna steal them.  Sluggo667...Neighbor of the beast... UH...I forgot what I wanted to say... AIM-Slugggo667 | ||||
| JJ G.O.O.F.B.A.H.G.S. Soldier of Fortune Spec Ops Division | posted on 08-31-2001 @ 2:45 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Feb. 01 | quote: LMAO right here is when i knew what he was going to do, god damn Gonzo thats sick, but from you its normal.  We're all just monkeys!! | ||||
| FeelMyFunBags | posted on 08-31-2001 @ 3:53 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Jan. 01 | FIrst and foremost...hats off to you GS. And now onto my story...its not gross, but it is pretty mean. When I was about 16 or so, I was not really getting along with this girl Pam I grew up with. I was however, really good friends with this other girl Jen who I also grew up with, who happened to be friendly with Pam still out of convience because they went to the same high school. One night when Jen and I were hanging out we decided that it would be real funny to call this guy that Pam had a crush on pretending to be her and hitting on him. For about three weeks on a regular basis, I would call this guy up and pretend to be her. Finally, he came up to her in school and told her to stop calling him and asking him out because he just wasn't interested. When she acted confused, he just called her psycho..to this day she doesn't know it was me. :)  why do I say I'm fine when it's obvious I'm not? why's it so hard to tell you what I want? why can't you just read my mind? | ||||
| Austin The Dark Enforcer/Angry Stoned Pimp G.O.O.F.B.A.H.G.S. New World Order Secret Police Chief Proud Inventor of the "Cream Cheese, Peanut Butter and Jelly" sandwich | posted on 08-31-2001 @ 4:07 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Feb. 01 | Pure fuckin Genius GS...another masterpiece. | ||||
| bluetarp | posted on 08-31-2001 @ 5:32 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Jan. 01 | GS, I have a cat and that prank is sooooo fucking funny. Anyway on to my prank. A number of years ago, I was in the Navy, stationed on a Submarine. A bunch of us would bring these humongus plastic mugs for our coffee. A couple pranksters thought it would be funny to steal all the mugs, and hide them. Stealing when you are in close quarters like a sub is a crime of huge proportions. Well, I found out it was a couple buddies of mine. I brewed up a bowel full of nastyness. Shit into two ziplock bags. Zipped them ALMOST all the way up, and inserted them into their pillows. Under the pillow I put a note saying how SHITTY it was to be thieves. When their heads hit the pillow, a smell and moistness ruined their sleep. The next day, all the mugs were returned. It looks just like a TeleFunken U-47, you'll love it. With leather? | ||||
| Page
1
2
Displaying 1-25 of 31 messages in this thread. |