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| Posted By | Discussion Topic: Do they really believe we are idiots?? | ||||
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| Psycho Bitch | posted on 10-10-2001 @ 10:52 AM |    | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Jul. 01  | Gotta Love Stupidity...and silly emails In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods. On a Sear's hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping." (Gee that's the only time I have to work on my hair.) On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." (The shoplifter special) On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how ...?) On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But its "just" a suggestion) On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (As night follows day . . .) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.) On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?) On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.) On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." ( Step 3: Fly Delta.) On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame parents for this one.) On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Was there a lot of this happening somewhere? My Goodness!)  I want to read your mind To know just what I've got in this new thing I've found So tell me what I see when I look in your eyes Is that you baby or just a brilliant disguise This message was edited by Psycho Bitch on 10-10-01 @ 11:17 AM | ||||
| Metalfan | posted on 10-10-2001 @ 10:54 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Sep. 00 | Admit it, you've been saved by some of those warnings. ;-) E-Mail Me  09.11.01 - To those who we'll never see again - you'll be in our hearts forever | ||||
...And now the battle between us and them has begun. JYD-4-LIFE. | posted on 10-10-2001 @ 10:56 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: May. 00 | this belongs in the "fwd. email forum"...oh great now ive given all ez-board users another idea for a forum Across the field you see the sky ripped open See the rain through a gaping wound Pounding on the women and children Who run Into the arms Of America-U2 | ||||
| Metalfan | posted on 10-10-2001 @ 11:02 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Sep. 00 | face....helping others help themselves. you get a percentage from all those ez-boards, don't you? :-) E-Mail Me 09.11.01 - To those who we'll never see again - you'll be in our hearts forever | ||||
| Psycho Bitch | posted on 10-10-2001 @ 11:14 AM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Jul. 01 | quote: Oh yeah, this one night I had the most incredible urge to blowdry my hair in my sleep...thank goodness for that warning ;) I want to read your mind To know just what I've got in this new thing I've found So tell me what I see when I look in your eyes Is that you baby or just a brilliant disguise This message was edited by Psycho Bitch on 10-10-01 @ 11:16 AM | ||||
| danked Dankarella! | posted on 10-10-2001 @ 11:21 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Aug. 00 | quote: hey, this warning wasn't on my chainsaw! think i can sue?  | ||||
| LunaBabe Ok, I know this is all a ploy, but, I'll play anyway. Dylan? BAH! I've heard BETTER! JYD-4-LIFE 'Shrooomer | posted on 10-10-2001 @ 11:54 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Jun. 01 | quote: Yeah...that happens to me all the time, too, Psycho B.  Thank you, FN | ||||
| IrishAlkey Chucky Official OA.com Homo CUNT ROCKETTE Look who's laughing now, fuckers!!! Is It In Yet? JYD-4-LIFE [Sarcasm]Subzero316 fan since day one!!1!![/Sarcasm] "my mod powers are on temporary hiatus" This status is sponsored by: P®oJë©T M@¥hέm | posted on 10-10-2001 @ 12:15 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Aug. 01 | They should put a disclaimer on the "post reply" button to prevent double posting...something like "Only hit button once you spastic tool." This message was edited by IrishAlkey on 10-10-01 @ 12:31 PM | ||||
| IrishAlkey Chucky Official OA.com Homo CUNT ROCKETTE Look who's laughing now, fuckers!!! Is It In Yet? JYD-4-LIFE [Sarcasm]Subzero316 fan since day one!!1!![/Sarcasm] "my mod powers are on temporary hiatus" This status is sponsored by: P®oJë©T M@¥hέm | posted on 10-10-2001 @ 12:15 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Aug. 01 | I'm with danked, how do you stop a chainsaw without using your genitals? | ||||
| TheLatinJoker | posted on 10-10-2001 @ 12:23 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Oct. 00 | Open the pack of Airplane peanuts?So,that's what i've been doing wrong. I'm such a DEEK.SHUT UP,FATSO!!! | ||||
| DaYellowJuandasun | posted on 10-10-2001 @ 12:29 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Jan. 01 | how about at airports they have the"will cause severe tire damage" sign next to the parking lot spikes?? "listen mister if you shut up i'm gonna kick 100%of your ASS!!" | ||||
| Psycho Bitch | posted on 10-10-2001 @ 3:05 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Jul. 01 | quote: Maynard, comment? ;)  I want to read your mind To know just what I've got in this new thing I've found So tell me what I see when I look in your eyes Is that you baby or just a brilliant disguise | ||||
King Shit *board owner* | posted on 10-10-2001 @ 4:44 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Feb. 01 | quote: But peanuts aren't nuts.  I believe in the Faith... that can save me. I believe in the hope and I pray... That someday it may raise me... above these badlands | ||||
| Shelle Bink True star of the celebrity softball game: the redhead in section 101. | posted on 10-10-2001 @ 5:15 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Jul. 01 | quote: Neither are testicles, but I love to play with those nuts.  Soon To Be Irish Citizen PENNYROYALS, MEST, GOOD CHARLOTTE... CHECK 'EM OUT! | ||||
King Shit *board owner* | posted on 10-10-2001 @ 5:20 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Feb. 01 | quote: Yes yes, and now follow the series of 'i came on your face.. i've got bad aim... you can suck on my nuts... etc.' jokes I believe in the Faith... that can save me. I believe in the hope and I pray... That someday it may raise me... above these badlands | ||||
| The Painter 1/2 a bottle of Jack Daniels... it's a cure-all | posted on 10-10-2001 @ 5:33 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Sep. 00 | Testicles are legumes? | ||||
| Joe Soprano | posted on 10-10-2001 @ 9:10 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Sep. 00 | quote: I wonder what their slogan is, "we kick your kids' cough away"?   <---- Kiss me helmet. | ||||
| Ants in My Pants Billy Prettiest Butterfly in the garden All Blow job poems ©Fez 2002-2003. I'm obsessed with Alkey's penis. | posted on 10-10-2001 @ 9:16 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Apr. 01 | quote: quote:Ants in My Pants, comment?  "Ants in my pants, it was bigger than an elephant... I swear it was this big!" | ||||
King Shit *board owner* | posted on 10-10-2001 @ 9:20 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Feb. 01 | quote: I think that's the first time anyone has ever asked themselves for a comment. I believe in the Faith... that can save me. I believe in the hope and I pray... That someday it may raise me... above these badlands | ||||
| crx girl Newbie! vg Y's me ugo girl Limey Mothercocker | posted on 10-10-2001 @ 9:22 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | no joe, still not funny. just so you know, boot's is the name of a drugstore.  An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come. --Victor Hugo regardless of my status, i am a nice person. no really, i am, i swear;) crack hitler belongs to me :) need me? try: crxgirl@opieanthony.com | ||||
| Noellevious Teh cute. Look at that. You could bounce quarters off of it. Incredible. | posted on 10-10-2001 @ 9:42 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Sep. 01 | quote: I disagree. He's just as funny as "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."  One Nation...INDIVISIBLE. Graduated Summa Cum Laude from FollowThisLogic's Droog Academy "The first Jewish guy I ever really loved was Christ. And then came Louis Black." | ||||
| Joe Soprano | posted on 10-10-2001 @ 9:47 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Sep. 00 | quote: Thanks for the support, Noel, but if you'll excuse me, I'm going to walk back to the unfunny room for a moment... <---- Kiss me helmet. | ||||
| Noellevious Teh cute. Look at that. You could bounce quarters off of it. Incredible. | posted on 10-10-2001 @ 9:49 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Sep. 01 | quote: Say hello to Ken's Pen for me, babe. One Nation...INDIVISIBLE. Graduated Summa Cum Laude from FollowThisLogic's Droog Academy "The first Jewish guy I ever really loved was Christ. And then came Louis Black." | ||||
King Shit *board owner* | posted on 10-10-2001 @ 10:27 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Feb. 01 | Joe Soprano makes even SpiderBob look funny. I believe in the Faith... that can save me. I believe in the hope and I pray... That someday it may raise me... above these badlands | ||||
Displaying 1-24 of 24 messages in this thread. |