quote:

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People say "Iraq had the fourth largest army in the world". Yeah,
maybe, but you know what, after the first 3 largest armies, there's a
REAL big fucking drop-off. The Hare Krishnas are the 5th largest army
in the world, and they've already got all our airports.

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quote:

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By the way, if anyone here is in advertising or marketing, kill
yourself. Thank you, thank you. Just a little thought. I'm just trying
to plant seeds. Maybe one day they'll take root. I don't know. You
try. You do what you can. Kill yourselves. Seriously though, if you
are, do. No really, there's no rationalisation for what you do, and
you are Satan's little helpers, OK? Kill yourselves, seriously. You're
the ruiner of all things good. Seriously, no, this is not a joke.
"There's gonna be a joke coming..." There's no fucking joke coming,
you are Satan's spawn, filling the world with bile and garbage, you
are fucked and you are fucking us, kill yourselves, it's the only way
to save your fucking soul. Kill yourself, kill yourself, kill yourself
now. Now, back to the show.

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quote:

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I'm so sick of arming the world, then sending troops over to destroy
the fucking arms, you know what I mean? We keep arming these little
countries, then we go and blow the shit out of them. We're like the
bullies of the world, y'know. We're like Jack Palance in the movie
Shane, throwing the pistol at the sheepherder's feet.

"Pick it up."

"I don't wanna pick it up, Mister, you'll shoot me."

"Pick up the gun."

"Mister, I don't want no trouble. I just came downtown here to get
some hard rock candy for my kids, some gingham for my wife. I don't
even know what gingham is, but she goes through about ten rolls a week
of that stuff. I ain't looking for no trouble, Mister."

"Pick up the gun."

(He picks it up. Three shots ring out.)

"You all saw him - he had a gun."

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from a brilliant man:

Supreme Court says pornography is anything without artistic merit that
causes sexual thoughts, that's their definition, essentially. No
artistic merit, causes sexual thoughts. Hmm... Sounds like...every
commercial on television, doesn't it? You know, when I see those two
twins on that Doublemint commercial? I'm not thinking of gum. I am
thinking of chewing, so maybe that's the connection they're trying to
make.

You've all seen that Busch beer commercial, where the girl in the
short hot pants opens the beer bottle on her belt buckle, leaves it
there, and it foams over her hand and over the bottle and the voice
over goes, "Get yourself a BUSCH." Hmm... You know what that looks
like? Nah, no way.

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quote:

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Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally upon our planet.
Doesn't the idea of making nature against the law seem to you a bit...
unnatural? You know what I mean? It's nature. How do you make nature
against the fucking law?

Here is my final point. About drugs, about alcohol, about pornography
and smoking and everything else. What business is it of yours what I
do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body -
as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?

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They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated.
Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do, just as
well. You just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort. There
is a difference.

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This message was edited by FN Moron on 11-3-01 @ 3:21 AM