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The Unofficial Opie & Anthony Message Board - How do you avoid those pesky relatives?


Displaying 1-25 of 25 messages in this thread.
Posted ByDiscussion Topic: How do you avoid those pesky relatives?
Maynard
posted on 11-23-2001 @ 8:44 AM      
O&A Board Veteran
Registered: Jan. 01
So what do you guys do at the holidays to avoid having to talk to all those pesky relatives? Do you get stoned? Drunk? Do you run and hide under your bed? Do you sit next to them and rest your nutsack on their leg?



Usually I opt for the alcohol route. That way whatever offensive shit I say to them all I can just blame the liquor.


down to the pub for a two shilling ale
the bread on the counter is going stale
if I don't get some fresh bread soon
gonna punch you in your face and bark at the moon

People suck.
Opie's Sack Lunch
posted on 11-23-2001 @ 8:50 AM      
Psychopath
Registered: Jun. 01
Easy, pull an "Opie" and go skiing for the holiday.

Metalfan
posted on 11-23-2001 @ 8:55 AM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Sep. 00
Either focus my attention on my kids, or "pretend" to take a nap.

E-Mail Me



09.11.01 - To those who we'll never see again - you'll be in our hearts forever. To those who did this.....buh bye motherfuckers.
Cunt-Twat
No real… its cool to wear childrens Band-Aids.
I'm not a Cockblocker, I'm a COCKSUCKER!
posted on 11-23-2001 @ 9:16 AM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Jan. 01
beer makes family gatherings more gooder, always!!

==============================
Remember-Laughter heals.
Snoteater
posted on 11-23-2001 @ 9:17 AM      
Psychopath
Registered: Apr. 01
Football and PS2. That's the best way to go about it.



"Your Ego is a Muscle."
The Mrs.
posted on 11-23-2001 @ 9:59 AM      
Psychopath
Registered: Feb. 01
Yesterday i hid in my bf's bedroom under the blanket with a pillow over my head. Does that count? :) But i could still hear his mother. Other than that i played hockey on the PS2. Then hid under the blanket again.



Got Porn?
HOSPITALIANO
posted on 11-23-2001 @ 10:22 AM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Oct. 00
I don't get to avoid relatives. In fact I don't get to avoid other people's relatives. My sister hosted diNNer last night at her house for only the second year. So besides the fact that our parents were divorced for 21 years, she invited my father and grandmother who still holds a grudge because my mother never became a Jew and raised us Catholic. She also invited her in-laws who are going through a divorce yet still sharing the same house. I had to move 4 times when I tried to sit down at the table because other people couldn't sit near or across from each other.

Intresting side note, I was actually made fun of because I like thin, attractive women. My sister has a friend who is 4'8", 300 pounds and has a gay 8 year old son. My sister was bitching because I refused to be fixed up with her because I'm "Into those 'thin girls'." Isn't that the stupidest shit you ever heard. Plus I had to deal with this after under 3 hours of sleep. I suck.


What Would Jesus Do? He died so the rest of us could have a better life. Why don't you go and follow his lead.
With friends like these, who needs enemies?
No Crew Needed,
MSN Messenger name: good2goguy


This message was edited by HOSPITALIANO on 11-23-01 @ 10:36 AM
Cunt-Twat
No real… its cool to wear childrens Band-Aids.
I'm not a Cockblocker, I'm a COCKSUCKER!
posted on 11-23-2001 @ 11:13 AM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Jan. 01
quote:

diNNer

lmao!! you've learned to spell!!!!!!!

==============================
Remember-Laughter heals.
skitchr4u
G.O.O.F.B.A.H.G.S.
Xtreme Skiing Assualt Force
Split Personality #1
posted on 11-23-2001 @ 11:26 AM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Dec. 00
go out of town...thats the best way...or better yet, go out of the country! no one will follow you then




AIM: SkiT4you
Ken'sPen
[Sarcasm]
Doesn't Live Up To The Hype
[/Sarcasm]
I should have stayed OVER THERE
posted on 11-23-2001 @ 11:55 AM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Aug. 01
What excuses does your family give when they avoid you Maynerd?

Sephiroth
posted on 11-23-2001 @ 12:36 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Dec. 00
I dont have this problem, because everyone in my extended family fucking rules.

It's my parents i want to go Lizzie Borden on.

L33T LIEK JEFFK MOTHERBITCHES

Vengence be thy name. Death be thy Chore. Move swiftly, Move silently and cede thy Wrath.
AIM | E-MAIL | CHAT
KILLER JAPANESE SEIZURE ROBOTS

Ken'sPen
[Sarcasm]
Doesn't Live Up To The Hype
[/Sarcasm]
I should have stayed OVER THERE
posted on 11-23-2001 @ 12:39 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Aug. 01
Seph to improve on your testosterone deficient image couldn't you have chosen Lyle Menendez?

Sephiroth
posted on 11-23-2001 @ 1:00 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Dec. 00
quote:

Seph to improve on your testosterone deficient image couldn't you have chosen Lyle Menendez?


You tell me what's more masculine:

1) Hacking your parents to death with a Axe, as they go into the next world screaming, pleading, crying and bleeding.

-OR-

2) Pumping 40 rounds into stationary objects, while only half of those shots actually hit the target. Quick, and sloppy.

I'll go with #1.

KTHXBYE

L33T LIEK JEFFK MOTHERBITCHES

Vengence be thy name. Death be thy Chore. Move swiftly, Move silently and cede thy Wrath.
AIM | E-MAIL | CHAT
KILLER JAPANESE SEIZURE ROBOTS

HOSPITALIANO
posted on 11-23-2001 @ 5:05 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Oct. 00
You see cunt-twat, I enjoy being subtle. Most others didn't even realize a joke was there.

I also forgot the whole family pretty much discussing my "adult Industry" past around my grandmother at the dinner table. She would have freaked out, threatened me and said she would take me out of the will so I wouldn't get custody of her 18 year old cat or ceramic clown collection.

I miss the days when we used to just go out to my aunt's house out near Montauk, eat diner, then go for an east end family bar crawl pissing off snotty locals.


What Would Jesus Do? He died so the rest of us could have a better life. Why don't you go and follow his lead.
With friends like these, who needs enemies?
No Crew Needed,
MSN Messenger name: good2goguy
crx girl
Newbie! vg Y's me
ugo girl
Limey Mothercocker
posted on 11-23-2001 @ 5:29 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Oct. 00
move, there's at least a thousand miles between me and any other member of my family.



An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come. --Victor Hugo
regardless of my status, i am a nice person. no really, i am, i swear;) crack hitler belongs to me :)
need me? try: crxgirl@opieanthony.com
FoundryMusicJJ
G.O.O.F.B.A.H.G.S.
Soldier of Fortune Spec Ops Division
posted on 11-23-2001 @ 5:31 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Feb. 01
See around the holidays, we go to my aunts house. i actually like goin there cuz we play video games and watch football and other shit. us like seph said, well the 1st part anyway, my extended family rules. Its my lil bro that i try to get away from during the holidays. Now thats somthin that is utterly impossible.


Wealth is too precious to be entrusted to the rich


BIG THANX TO AUSTIN FOR THE SIGPIC
FeelMyFunBags
posted on 11-23-2001 @ 5:57 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Jan. 01
Offer to show your relatives the shrine you made to Timothy McVeigh...then drop to your knees and begin to pray towards Mecca. If that doesn't scare them...I don't know what will....


i can't believe my dream is over
i woke up this morning with nothing but light in my eyes
now i'm one with the fools of love
Bundle of cuteness?? You're insane....have sweet shluffies in Shluffieville.... By the way, now that the diner is going out of business, is it safe to assume you're not getting me a job??

USA




fbdlingfrg
wow, my name looks odd without 5 lines of type below it in bold and purple and red
G.O.O.F.B.A.H.G.S.
Red Wings Captain Cecil
JBA~Remove the Pick & Click NOW!
posted on 11-23-2001 @ 5:58 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Oct. 00
i cant stand my cusins.if the event is at my house(which is most of them), i pretend to plug a controller into the n64 or computer and play games, saying that they're me and i'm the guys getting their asses kicked.or i "go to the bathroom" and actually surf the net or sneak up to my room for some tv.
if its at a different relative's house, i just go off on my own until i find something to do.usually i end up listening to my cd player or sneaking into their basement to use the playstation, depending on which house i'm at



GO BIG BLUE!

This is the song that doesn’t end, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, but they’ll continue singing it forever just because this is the song that doesn’t end yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, but they’ll continue singing it forever just because this is the song that doesn’t end yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, but they’ll continue singing it forever just because


FN Moron
This status is sponsored by:
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I Mod VG's ass!
posted on 11-23-2001 @ 11:13 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Oct. 00
quote:

...eat diner
Hosp...you were doing so good...

as far as the relatives go... most of them are scattered around the country (federal prisons, ya know) so this year it was just me & Mom...



How about a positive LSD story, that would be newsworthy. Don't you think? Anybody think that? Just once, to hear a positive LSD story. "Today, a young man on acid, realised that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration. That we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves... here's Tom with the weather." -- Bill Hicks




HOSPITALIANO
posted on 11-24-2001 @ 9:09 AM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Oct. 00
Okay, that one I blame on my shitty WebTV. I know I hit the N key twice, I think I need to change the batteries in my keyboard.


What Would Jesus Do? He died so the rest of us could have a better life. Why don't you go and follow his lead.
With friends like these, who needs enemies?
No Crew Needed,
MSN Messenger name: good2goguy
njstrawberry
posted on 11-24-2001 @ 9:59 AM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Feb. 01
It's simple. I don't spend holidays with them. Why bother putting up with people you only see at funerals and weddings? ;)


...IT'S TIME FOR ECONOMIC WARFARE...

We MUST strike against the nations, which advocate, implement, harbor and financially support terrorism, by not purchasing their products or supporting their businesses!
HyBriD
I AM THE KILLER
FN Moron is an indian giver!!
I had my cool status for about 10 min. then it was gone. GONE!
G.O.O.F.B.A.H.G.S.
Agent WD40 Licensed to Kill
My spoon is TOO BIG. (finally)
WORD UP KIDDIES! This is Poop Dog, the gangsta specta of defeat!
Hanger-on to the JYDs for LIFE
I INVENTED ORANGE MOTHERFUCKER
This status is sponsored by:
P®oJë©T M@¥hέm
posted on 11-24-2001 @ 10:23 AM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Sep. 01
fbd, i do the EXACT same thing. i always tell my cousins that they are my character, then i kill them like 40 times.


CEBOLLA
Bartman
posted on 11-24-2001 @ 9:35 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Dec. 00
WHAt do i do seeing as the house that i always go to has no electronics at all and all my relatives are boring as hell, i usually end up falling asleep in a corner until it is time to leave and just casually walk out


Visit my webpage
you can also email me E-Mail Me
spitfire421
posted on 11-25-2001 @ 2:46 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Dec. 00
I agree with straw, you avoid the stress by having your own holidays. We ditched our families this year and had an 8-person dinner with good friends.

We pretty much stayed in the kitchen, cooked, drank wine and smoked kb. The boys played video games and watched football. It was the best Thanksgiving I've ever had.


Fortunately, I'm adhering to a pretty strict, uh, drug, uh, regimen to keep my mind, you know, uh, limber.


NEVER FORGET!!!
armymad
DUMBEST POSTER EVER!!!
posted on 11-26-2001 @ 2:10 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Jan. 01
The best way is to drink, drink, and drink some more that what I did, now i am paying for it




Displaying 1-25 of 25 messages in this thread.