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Displaying 1-23 of 23 messages in this thread. |
| Posted By | Discussion Topic: Hallmark Cards You'll Never See | ||||
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| Grumpy SAGILLID The Midget Message Board Mauler rides his trusty mount Wilbur once again!! Internet Idiots beware!! | posted on 03-09-2001 @ 2:25 PM |    | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Dec. 00  | Okay - it's friday and I'm bored so I thought I would share..... WHAT HALLMARK DOESN'T PRINT.................... So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day. Look at the bright side, it's really good pay. My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat. When I looked at the tire. I noticed your cat. Sorry! You had your bladder removed and you're on the mend. Here's a bouquet of flowers and a box of Depends. You've announced that you're gay, won't that be a laugh, when they find out you're one of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. Happy Vasectomy! Hope you feel zippy! Cause when I had mine I got real snippy. Heard your wife left you. How upset you must be. But don't fret about it. She moved in with me You totaled your car. And can't remember why. Could it have been that whole case of Bud Dry? Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder: What the Fuck was I thinking? Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife. How could two people as beautiful as you have such an ugly baby? I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you, I've changed my mind. I must admit, you brought Religion in my life. I never believed in hell till I met you. As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am that you're not here to ruin it for me. If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope it's your sister. As you grow older, Mum, I think of all the gifts you've given me. Like the need for therapy... Thanks for being a part of my life!!! I never knew what evil was before this! Congratulations on your promotion! Before you go, would you like to take this knife out of my back. You'll probably need it again. Someday I hope to get married, but not to you. When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broke up, I think it's time you kept your promise. I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're here. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever find out who the father was? You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket.... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!! (Available only in Kentucky.)  If you can't dazzle them with your brilliance, baffle them with your bullshit! | ||||
| Drunken GW I Pissed on a Church to get this Status. | posted on 03-09-2001 @ 2:27 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Dec. 00 | Damn funny shit Grump..... How bout this... Heard you were pregnant, a new bundle of matter Your husband will be home soon, with a wire coat hanger.  Friend of Pedro Guerrero. Adopted by Calm Your Nut. | ||||
| Rog2K | posted on 03-09-2001 @ 2:28 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Jan. 01 | How about: "You're goin' to jail see you in 5 - 10 when you get back hope you're not sore in the end."  E-F-F-E-C-T! A smooth operator operating correctly | ||||
| Mi1o Yambag | posted on 03-09-2001 @ 2:28 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | Grumpy, you never cease to amaze me. Once again, thats some of the funniest shit I've ever seen. rotmfflmgdao Smoke Weed Everyday | ||||
| Cap'n Fudge | posted on 03-09-2001 @ 2:28 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | Funny stuff Grumpy!!! You missed this one: You've come out of the closet and we're so proud. Just don't call us Mom or Dad when we're in a crowd! Ventriliquist Detective capnfudge@opieanthony.com | ||||
| Tequila Fez claims this land in the name of Portugal! Why worry about the train if it never makes it around the tracks?? IrishAlkey wuz here!!! | posted on 03-09-2001 @ 6:29 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Jan. 01 | You forgot this one Roses are red violets are blue Marco takes it in the ass and frumpy does too.  | ||||
| o&aswallow | posted on 03-09-2001 @ 6:37 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Jan. 01 | Grumpy, I'm surprised you missed; Hope you feel better, it sure is a shame, that I had to decapitate your manjunk, when I found out you weren't a dame.   It at first you don't succeed, keep on sucking till you do suck seed. - Curly Howard. | ||||
| 2 tired 2 give N F One of the Teen Tomatoe Boys is Retarted... Guess which one I am!!! | posted on 09-19-2001 @ 1:28 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Jan. 01 | Bringing it back... How about... Sorry to hear your terrorist regime has gone and died...oh well GO F YOURSELF! codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=5,0,0,0" WIDTH=250 HEIGHT=250> "As I sail through the night... Let us not forget, There is hope..." | ||||
| Noellevious Teh cute. Look at that. You could bounce quarters off of it. Incredible. | posted on 09-19-2001 @ 1:31 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Sep. 01 | Howzabout: I know you're afraid 'cause your daddy's a drunk but sleep well cause you're safe on the top bunk. Hehe...I'm an amateur, I know.  Under the superior tutelage of FollowThisLogic "God may have mercy on you, but we won't." - John McCain | ||||
| QuickStop I won the last OA.com Sig contest & all I got was this cheesey status... Who is driving? Oh my God! Bear is Driving! How can that be?!? G.O.O.F.B.A.H.G.S. Kickflip b/s Tailslide Strike Team | posted on 09-19-2001 @ 1:35 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Aug. 01 | edit: i didnt think before i posted I am Chuck's wasted time. My grandmother always said, "Why buy the cow, when you can get the sex for free." This message was edited by QuickStop on 9-19-01 @ 6:07 PM | ||||
| MaynardGKrebs | posted on 09-19-2001 @ 1:54 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Jan. 01 | Ahh yes, didn't take long for the jokes to start :-(...... Where at least I know I'm free And I won't forget the men who died Who gave that right to me And I gladly stand up next to you And defend her still today Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land God Bless the USA  | ||||
| Ants in My Pants Billy Prettiest Butterfly in the garden All Blow job poems ©Fez 2002-2003. I'm obsessed with Alkey's penis. | posted on 09-19-2001 @ 1:59 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Apr. 01 | It's easy to grin When your ship comes in And you've got the stock market beat But a man who's worthwhile Is the man who can smile When his shorts are too tight in the seat OK Pookie, christen the boat.  "May God have mercy on their souls, because we won't." | ||||
| Psycho Bitch | posted on 09-19-2001 @ 2:15 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Jul. 01 | quote: Where was this one when I needed it 5 months ago?? ;) Hmmm...the money they'd make on some of those.  And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air, Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there. O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave. | ||||
| Sephiroth | posted on 09-19-2001 @ 2:22 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Dec. 00 | Man, i must be bored today. This is my third photoshoppery of the day....  | ||||
| Grumpy SAGILLID The Midget Message Board Mauler rides his trusty mount Wilbur once again!! Internet Idiots beware!! | posted on 09-19-2001 @ 2:28 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Dec. 00 | One request out of respect: If you're gonna do this, please don't make them WTC oriented. It just ain't right. Show some respect. Please?! Back to humor: Heard you're broke and your dog ran away Just be thankful that your boyfriends not gay.  September 11, 2001 In our hearts you will live forever! Rest in Peace my brothers and sisters. Rest in Peace! | ||||
Nay. We are but men. ROCK. The man with the plan. | posted on 09-19-2001 @ 2:37 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | Heard you're getting an abortion today.... Hope everything comes out okay.  | ||||
| FeelMyFunBags | posted on 09-19-2001 @ 2:37 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Jan. 01 | quote: I love that one for some reason....hmmm it could be the 3 years I wasted with one asshole and the 2 I wasted with another :) LOL How about: (not everyone will get this) Sorry I fell asleep during sex, but I swear...I'm not really gay.... ??? ;)  "I know every one of you, I know the sea of torment, doubt, despair and unbelief." -Walt Whitman USA | ||||
| Grumpy SAGILLID The Midget Message Board Mauler rides his trusty mount Wilbur once again!! Internet Idiots beware!! | posted on 09-19-2001 @ 2:51 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Dec. 00 | There's at least one person who gets laid once a year....... Congratulations and remember to wear a condom tomorrow. September 11, 2001 In our hearts you will live forever! Rest in Peace my brothers and sisters. Rest in Peace! | ||||
| Ants in My Pants Billy Prettiest Butterfly in the garden All Blow job poems ©Fez 2002-2003. I'm obsessed with Alkey's penis. | posted on 09-19-2001 @ 2:53 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Apr. 01 | [Dice] Christmas is a time for giving... and I'd like to give you my big fat cock. [/Dice] "May God have mercy on their souls, because we won't." | ||||
| CriticsLoveSnatch i know better than to ask for a status from you mean ol' mods I shall call him mini-FTL | posted on 09-19-2001 @ 3:01 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | quote: lmao - did you get that one before or after the: "as much as i like being with you, i prefer big yummy hot dogs instead" :)  and thinking's just too much to ask and you're measuring your minutes by a clock thats blinking eights | ||||
| FeelMyFunBags | posted on 09-19-2001 @ 3:09 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Jan. 01 | Well first I got the: "Sorry I fell asleep during sex..." then I got the: "I love big yummy hot dogs" then there was my favorite: "Surprise! I'm a potential STD vessel cause I've done and stuck my pecker into anyone who would let me....OOPS did I forget to tell you?" :) It's funny now cause I'm clean as a whistle :) "I know every one of you, I know the sea of torment, doubt, despair and unbelief." -Walt Whitman USA | ||||
| MaynardGKrebs | posted on 09-19-2001 @ 3:18 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Jan. 01 | quote: quote: So just in case you're playing along at home boys and girls, WTC humor not funny, abortion humor=funny. Ponderous. Effin Ponderous. I still don't understand how anyone could possibly make a joke about the WTC. Was there even a little bit of humor in that?  | ||||
| 2 tired 2 give N F One of the Teen Tomatoe Boys is Retarted... Guess which one I am!!! | posted on 09-19-2001 @ 4:30 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Jan. 01 | So I hear you came out and said "Hey I'm GAY!", You fell out of the closet and it's ok, Because the girls never liked you anyway. codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=5,0,0,0" WIDTH=250 HEIGHT=250> "As I sail through the night... Let us not forget, There is hope..." | ||||
Displaying 1-23 of 23 messages in this thread. |