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| Posted By | Discussion Topic: Strip Clubs can be hazardous to your health | ||||
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| SNAKEBITE | posted on 02-01-2002 @ 8:31 AM |    | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Jan. 01  | Groom Killed By Stripper's Boobs Wednesday January 16, 2002 GENEVA - A fun-filled bachelor party at a strip club turned deadly when a 32-year-old groom-to-be who was enjoying the attentions of a well-endowed stripper suffocated while his face was buried in her breasts. The mind-boggling drama unfolded, say cops, while Daniel Greene was attending his bachelor party at the Pretty Kitty strip club. The club had been rented out for the private affair. According to investigators, Greene was enjoying a lap dance when disaster struck: One of the strippers, Kandy Kane, got too into her performance and suffocated the man between her 72-DD breasts. Witnesses said that Greene had had his fair share of beer, but didn't seem out-of-control. When the song "I'm Too Sexy" began to play, Greene became excited and began to dance on the tabletop, hooting and hollering, pals said, "like an idiot." Miss Kane, apparently pleased to see someone enjoying her choice in music, moved in closer. When Greene took his seat, she began giving him a lap dance, shaking her breasts in his face. The more she shook, the deeper Greene got lost in her cleavage. "Daniel was having so much fun," partygoer John Gillman said. "We all thought he loved being in that gal's chest. "Who could have known that when he was waving his hands around, he was signaling for help?" Cheering onlookers eventually realized that Greene was no longer moving, and pulled him from between Miss Kane's breasts. Now Greene's family is suing Miss Kane and the Pretty Kitty for wrongful death. Greene's father, George, won't specify the amount they are suing for, but claims that it isn't about the money. "Those breasts were lethal weapons," he told reporters. "The Pretty Kitty should not have allowed Miss Kane to have her bust enhanced to the size that she did. "We hope that by filing this lawsuit, we can send a message to other strippers: keep your bra size within a reasonable range." Kandy Kane made a statement through her attorneys: "I thought he liked it in there. " The Pretty Kitty declined comment. Copyright © Yahoo! and Weekly World News All rights reserved. Well if your gonna die you might as well die happy lol | ||||
| donotkidme | posted on 02-01-2002 @ 8:49 AM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Dec. 01 | so is this: 1) unlucky lottery 2) sucks to be you 3) the bitches that will getchas  Complaints? Too bad! | ||||
| skitchr4u G.O.O.F.B.A.H.G.S. Xtreme Skiing Assualt Force | posted on 02-01-2002 @ 8:52 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Dec. 00 | its 2 of them actually... its sucks to be you, cause well, he LIKED that song!! and it is also unlucky lottery, cause that is a tough way to go...  | ||||
| GrkqtOandAfan Claim staked by FTL. | posted on 02-01-2002 @ 8:53 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | quote:So since her boobs killed the guy, that makes the rest of her body an accomplice??  Heartbreaker you've got the best of me But I just keep on comin' back incessantly Oh why did you have to run your game on me I should have known right from the start you'd go & break my heart | ||||
| Norton's Victim | posted on 02-01-2002 @ 8:53 AM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Jan. 02 | This is officially It sucks to be the unlucky Weekly World News that'll getcha  "You can spend your time alone, re-digesting past regrets or you can come to terms and realize you're the only one who cannot forgive yourself. It makes much more sense, to live in the present tense." - Pearl Jam | ||||
| The Painter 1/2 a bottle of Jack Daniels... it's a cure-all | posted on 02-01-2002 @ 9:01 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Sep. 00 | Weekly World News is the best. Where else would you find out about Batboy?, and that the aliens endorsed Clinton. Where else could you read about alien implants in J-lo's butt: THERE'S AN ALIEN IMPLANT IN J.Lo's BUTT '! GENEVA - An eccentric UFO researcher claims he's pinpointed the location of an alien implant: Inside the hefty heinie of big-buttocked bombshell Jennifer Lopez, newspapers here report! And the maverick Swiss scientist, Dr. Henrik Schenkel, vows to take a backseat to no one in getting straight to the bottom of the mystery. "My research leaves me no doubt that there is an alien implant deep in Miss Lopez' hindquarters, most likely inserted during a UFO abduction," says Dr. Schenkel. "It must be removed for study with the utmost care - and only I know how to extract it." The keister-obsessed kook's theory is that in 1996, "gray-type" aliens kidnapped the incredibly talented singer-actress, placed the tiny, microchip-like device in her backside, then erased all her memories of the abduction and returned her to Earth, none the wiser. Such a way-up-close encounter, Dr. Schenkel reasons, would explain jiggly Jennifer's meteoric rise to fame plus what he calls her "current leadership role as a cultural icon." "It's a common pattern for extraterrestrials to pluck ordinary people out of obscurity and use implants to both propel them to positions of leadership," he said. "It's also standard for them to insert implants in out-of-the-way places, such as a subject's derriere." The expert, who says he's spent 800 hours poring over close-ups of the big-derriered diva's famous fanny, taken from various angles, cites as "evidence" side-by-side shots of her now compared to 1990, when she was a dancer on the TV show In Living Color. "My measurements show the subject's rump is significantly larger now," he says. Dr. Schenkel notes that alien implants are designed to be undetectable to X-rays, and only a "thorough manual examination" can confirm his theory. What's more, the devices are very fragile and unless removed by an expert, they tend to self-destruct. "For that to happen would be a tragic loss to science," he says. "I am ready to be on a plane to the U.S. to perform this procedure the moment Miss Lopez gives her consent." The wazoo-loving wacko may be rearing to go, but it's unlikely that Jennifer will say "bottom's up" to the bizarre posterior-probe proposal. Said a Hollywood insider, "No way is J.Lo going to let him get his hands on her tush!" Published on: January 18, 2002  | ||||
| Norton's Victim | posted on 02-01-2002 @ 9:10 AM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Jan. 02 | quote: Completely agree. i just find it funny when something they write gets reported as the truth. "You can spend your time alone, re-digesting past regrets or you can come to terms and realize you're the only one who cannot forgive yourself. It makes much more sense, to live in the present tense." - Pearl Jam | ||||
| donotkidme | posted on 02-01-2002 @ 9:11 AM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Dec. 01 | my favorite was the one from like 7 or 8 years ago. with the really fat guy that had liposuction had all this extra skin. Complaints? Too bad! | ||||
| Norton's Victim | posted on 02-01-2002 @ 9:15 AM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Jan. 02 | My favorite: Bride Farts at Altar and Dies of Embarrasment "You can spend your time alone, re-digesting past regrets or you can come to terms and realize you're the only one who cannot forgive yourself. It makes much more sense, to live in the present tense." - Pearl Jam | ||||
| FeelMyFunBags | posted on 02-01-2002 @ 10:41 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Jan. 01 | So what you're saying is that this didn't really happen?! :confused: Sometimes I feel this is too scary to be true...I sabotage myself for fear of losing you USA | ||||
| FirstTime LongTime | posted on 02-01-2002 @ 10:48 AM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Jan. 02 | quote: No relation to Sandy I hope... Kindest Regards, Your Name | ||||
| JimboSHU my status is extremely accurate. | posted on 02-01-2002 @ 12:50 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Oct. 00 | quote: none of the above, that is the greatest way to die. no doubt I'm too lazy to make a sig. AIM | ||||
| Kramden's Delicious Marshall I think Yoda is sexy. | posted on 02-01-2002 @ 11:25 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Sep. 01 | quote:It was Sandy. Kandy was a typo. | ||||
| IkeaBoy P.L.F. Portugese Liberation Front- Liberating Status' everywhere from the Tyranny of Portugal I will die a traitor's death | posted on 02-02-2002 @ 12:20 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Sep. 00 | this story was discussed a few days ago. "It appears my wee wee has been strucken with rigor mortis." | ||||
| SeeYouNextTuesday G.O.O.F.B.A.H.G.S. Elite Ninja Gaiden Infiltration Unit | posted on 02-02-2002 @ 10:02 AM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Feb. 01 | It's "sucks to be you". NOT unlucky lottery, by a long shot. Unlucky lottery ALWAYS has to involve freak chance, a roll of the dice on nature's part. It can't be the result of human action and human stupidity. The first one the guys talked about is this woman who had the Dom. Rep. flight fall on her house while she was talking to her sister. An example they give is a boulder just randomly decides to fall on your head, after sitting peacefully for 2000 years. I think manhole cover blowing up and smashing your skull in is also unlucky lottery. Not this.
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| The Painter 1/2 a bottle of Jack Daniels... it's a cure-all | posted on 02-02-2002 @ 10:47 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Sep. 00 | It's not "sucks to be you" or "unlucky lottery". It didn't happen. It's a fake story. Pay attention. | ||||
Displaying 1-16 of 16 messages in this thread. |