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The Unofficial Opie & Anthony Message Board - You know you're Italian when . . .


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Posted ByDiscussion Topic: You know you're Italian when . . .
Tequila
Fez claims this land in the name of Portugal!
Why worry about the train if it never makes it around the tracks?? IrishAlkey wuz here!!!		posted on 04-25-2002 @ 6:31 PM      
O&A Board Veteran
Registered: Jan. 01
You know you're Italian when . . .

1. You are 5' 4", can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day,and still cry when your mother yells at you.

2. You carry your lunch in a produce bag because you can't fit two cappicola sandwiches, 4 oranges, 2 bananas and pizzelles into a regular paper lunch bag.

3. Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant, travel agent and lawyer are all your cousins.

4. For breakfast, you dunk a pack of Stella D'Oro's cookies in milk.

5. You live in a 900 square foot bungalow, but still have two kitchens (one in the basement).

6. You have at least 5 cousins living in the same town or street. All 5 of those cousins are named after your grandfather or grandmother.

7. A high school diploma and one year of community college has earned you the title of "professore" among your aunts.

8. You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners.

9. You only get one good shave from a disposable razor.

10. If someone in your family grows beyond 5' 9", it is presumed his mother had an affair.

11. There are more than 28 people in your bridal party.

12. You netted more than $10,000 on your first communion.

And you REALLY, REALLY know you're Italian when Your grandfather had a fig tree .

You eat Sunday dinner at 2:00.

Christmas Eve . . . only fish.

You have a stupid nickname.

Your mom's meatballs are the best.

Favorite movies: Godfather/Goodfellas/Bronx Tale/The Last Don/Moonstruck/Scarface.

You've been hit with a wooden spoon or had a shoe thrown at you.

Plastic on the furniture is normal.

You know how to pronounce "manicotti" and "mozzarella."

You fight over whether it's called "sauce" or "gravy."

And you understand "bada bing"


LET’S GO ISLANDERS!!!!!

E-Mail Me
Bitch about my posts Click me!!!11

katylina
KIDNAPPER
Spill 'em if you got 'em
JBA Thinks I Am A Goddess! 		posted on 04-25-2002 @ 6:32 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Feb. 02
You know you're sicilian when...

your ancestors took a cruise to America on a slave ship


Visit this Website

TFEC
Coming Soon!!! The Grand Opening of The Junkyard Bar & Grill!		posted on 04-25-2002 @ 6:33 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Sep. 00
...you speak only in vowels.

...if you had no hands you'd have a speech impediment.

...you keep your IROC-Z to cruise the strip in seaside heights.

...you have no idea what IROC-Z really stands for.

...ginny-t's and gold chains are must have's in you wardrobe.

Sig Pic under construction

HA HA Rangers FAGS!! NO PLAYOFFS FOR YOU AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!111

This message was edited by TFEC on 4-25-02 @ 6:36 PM
FoundryMusicJJ
G.O.O.F.B.A.H.G.S.
Soldier of Fortune Spec Ops Division		posted on 04-25-2002 @ 6:34 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Feb. 01
Well some of that is true with my family, but then again I'm only 50%, my dads side. I think the wooden spoon or shoe thing is really just a european thing not just Italian, cuz my mom hit me with a wooden spoon or shoe and shes Polish. But in any case, awsome thread Teq.


Wealth is too precious to be entrusted to the rich.

BIG THANX TO AUSTIN FOR THE SIGPIC
Mr. Croup
posted on 04-25-2002 @ 6:38 PM      
Hanger-On
Registered: Apr. 02
--You live in Nassau county.

I moved to Albany on St. Patrick's Day, and I haven't seen an Italian since. God, I miss you people.

Buttmunch
USA
Autoban


Head Slap... Swim Move...
posted on 04-25-2002 @ 6:41 PM      
O&A Board Veteran
Registered: Oct. 00
What the fuck do you know about being Italian Ricardo you spic bastard.




Don’t get me wrong, I am not fighting to uphold the restraints that give protection to rights fully accrued upon facts so nearly permanent as to be substantially impervious to change, rather I am for the supervision of changing conduct or conditions and are thus provisional or tentative.





TMS
TFEC
Coming Soon!!! The Grand Opening of The Junkyard Bar & Grill!		posted on 04-25-2002 @ 6:43 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Sep. 00
quote:
you spic bastard.



Come on now BM, we all know he's a half-breed! :-p

...you live in staten island.

Sig Pic under construction

HA HA Rangers FAGS!! NO PLAYOFFS FOR YOU AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!111

This message was edited by TFEC on 4-25-02 @ 6:45 PM
Tequila
Fez claims this land in the name of Portugal!
Why worry about the train if it never makes it around the tracks?? IrishAlkey wuz here!!!		posted on 04-25-2002 @ 6:47 PM      
O&A Board Veteran
Registered: Jan. 01
quote:
we all know he's a half-breed

Yeah 1/2 sicilian, 1/2 neopolitan


LET’S GO ISLANDERS!!!!!

E-Mail Me
Bitch about my posts Click me!!!11

HsaWaknow
G.O.O.F.B.A.H.G.S.
Stealth Assault Force Codename: Thief Ex		posted on 04-26-2002 @ 12:59 AM      
Psychopath
Registered: Oct. 01
quote:
Your mom's meatballs are the best.

heeheeheehee
- Deny any charcoal briquettes in your ancestry



I did a gweat whaaaat?
I hate you Al Dukes
Norton's Victim
posted on 04-26-2002 @ 1:24 AM      
Psychopath
Registered: Jan. 02
You know you're Italian when you watch the Godfather and it reminds you to call home and check in.



“The window burns to light the way back home. A light that warms no matter where they've gone. They're off to find the hero of the day. But what if they should fall by someone's wicked way. Still the window burns. Time so slowly turns. And someone there is sighing. Keepers of the flames. Do ya feel your name? Can't you hear your babies crying? Mama they try and break me. Still they try and break me. 'Scuze me while I tend to how I feel. These things return to me that still seem real. Now deservingly this easy chair. But the rocking stopped by wheels of despair. Don't want your aid. But the first I've make. For years can't hold or feel. No, I'm not all me. So please excuse me. While I tend to how I feel. But now the dreams and waking screams. That ever last the night. So build the wall, behind the crawl. And hide until it's light. So can you hear your babies cryin' now? Still the window burns. Time so slowly turns. And someone there is sighing. Keepers of the flames. Do ya feel your name? Can't you hear your babies crying?” - Metallica
"Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and the success of liberty." - John F. Kennedy, 1961
The Painter
1/2 a bottle of Jack Daniels... it's a cure-all		posted on 04-26-2002 @ 6:39 AM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Sep. 00
quote:
Favorite movies: Godfather/Goodfellas/Bronx Tale/The Last Don/Moonstruck/Scarface.

Scarface? Wasn't he Cuban?




Drunken GW
I Pissed on a Church to get this Status.		posted on 04-26-2002 @ 9:36 AM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Dec. 00
How about, you know you're Italian when you can stick your boot up someone's ass. :mad:

Quote of the Dayssssss - "I drink to make other people interesting" - George Nathan


goatweed
I've Got A Vagina With Teeth.
G.O.O.F.B.A.H.G.S.
Dragoon Battalion
My friends call me Weed 		posted on 04-26-2002 @ 9:58 AM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Jan. 01
quote:
...you live in staten island
While most of the island is Italian, there are some of us that go against the norm (I'm an Irish/German/Ukrainian mutt). I do enjoy Italian food though [perhaps too much at times :-D]


The line between fantasy and reality is the same as that between sanity and insanity...which side of the line are you on?


You can reach me through AIM or email. Feel free to contact me if you have any board questions, techie (PC) questions, or even if you just wanna chat and be bestest of friends.

Congratulations! You win a Cream Cheese, Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwich!!!11. (c) Austin Inc. 2002




This message was edited by goatweed on 4-26-02 @ 10:22 AM
Grumpy
SAGILLID The Midget Message Board Mauler rides his trusty mount Wilbur once again!! Internet Idiots beware!!		posted on 04-26-2002 @ 10:16 AM      
O&A Board Veteran
Registered: Dec. 00
quote:
1/2 sicilian, 1/2 neopolitan


That's one fuckin lop sided pizza bro....
but I also got to agree with BM - what does a fuckin wetback know about being a Whop?


As I look out my window watching the tornadoes and hurricanes pass,
and rain falls from the top of skyscrapers,
I warm food in my microwave as it ZAPS the tomatoes warm
The tomatoes are effable, wouldn't you say?
Faceman
...And now the battle between us and them has begun.

JYD-4-LIFE.

posted on 04-26-2002 @ 10:38 AM      
O&A Board Veteran
Registered: May. 00
-when you get pissed off when people call you a puerto rican



I'm only laughing on the outside
My smile is just skin deep
If you could see inside I'm really crying
You might join me for a weep.




Displaying 1-15 of 15 messages in this thread.