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Posted By	Discussion Topic: Little Johnny jokes......
TFEC Coming Soon!!! The Grand Opening of The Junkyard Bar & Grill!	posted on 03-19-2001 @ 8:47 PM
O&A Board Regular Registered: Sep. 00	Little Johnny was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, make you fat. Little Johnny replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old." The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?" Little Johnny answered, "No, he minded his own fucking business!" A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny. He replies,"None, they all fly away with the first gun shot" The teacher replies "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking." Then Little Johnny says "I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?" The tacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone" To which Little Johnny replied, "The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on,... but I like your thinking. Math Class Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic. "Why?" asks the father."The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' I said '6' "But that's right! "Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'" "What's the fucking difference?" asks the father. "That's what I said! says little Johnny. Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word? Little Johnny waves his hand, 'Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!' Miss Rogers:'All right, little Johnny, what is your multi-syllable word?' Little Johnny says, 'Mas-tur-bate.' Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful.' Little Johnny sys, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob". Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of the sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out,"Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!" The teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go" Little Johnny thinks for a bit, then says, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a ten!!!" One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it." "Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said. "Excellent, Michael!" Then, the teacher called on little Johnny. "Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful, ......just fucking beautiful'" Feel free to add your own!!! FUCK 5 MINUTES!!! THE BOMBING STARTS NOW!!!!!!!!!!! LONG LIVE SYNDICATION UNDERGROUND!!! LET'S GO DEVILS!!!! LET'S GO GIANTS!!!! This message was edited by TFEC on 3-19-01 @ 8:52 PM
adolescentmasturbator	posted on 03-19-2001 @ 9:18 PM
O&A Board Regular Registered: Jan. 01	Little Johnny goes outside and notices 2 dogs going at each other. He calls his dad and says daddy stop their fighting. His dad says oh no they are just making puppies. Johnny realizes this and says oh. A few days later Johnny walks in on his parents having sex and his father comes out to talk to him about it. He told Johnny that they were just making babies. After a few moments thought Johnny said why don't you turn her over I'd rather have a puppy. E-Mail Me LIKE SCHOOL IN SUMMERTIME
TFEC Coming Soon!!! The Grand Opening of The Junkyard Bar & Grill!	posted on 03-20-2001 @ 5:23 PM
O&A Board Regular Registered: Sep. 00	Little Johnny was going around the neighboorhood when he came to this one house. A lady answed the door. "collecting" little Johnny said. "well" said the lady "I don't have the money right now, but I can pay you another way" she said as she lifted her skirt. "Ok" johnny said. He pulls out his junk and begins putting on these washers. "You don't have to do that" says the lady, "I can take it all." Little Johnny looks at her and says "Not for a dollar fifty you can't!!" FUCK 5 MINUTES!!! THE BOMBING STARTS NOW!!!!!!!!!!! LONG LIVE SYNDICATION UNDERGROUND!!! LET'S GO DEVILS!!!! LET'S GO GIANTS!!!!
TFEC Coming Soon!!! The Grand Opening of The Junkyard Bar & Grill!	posted on 03-21-2001 @ 9:32 PM
O&A Board Regular Registered: Sep. 00	Little Johnny and the girl next door were on his front porch. The little girl leans over to little johnny and says "Why don't we get undressed so we can play doctor?" "That's so old fashioned" says little johnny. "Spit out your gum so we can play president." This message was edited by TFEC on 3-21-01 @ 9:35 PM
Other white meat	posted on 03-22-2001 @ 11:03 PM
Psychopath Registered: Nov. 00	Little Johnny kept disrupting his third grade class by regularly letting out loud farts. His teacher kept him after school. When she insisted on knowing why he exhibited such offensive behavior, Little Johnny said, "I do it because I can do it better than anybody, and I'm very proud of that fact." The teacher said, "If I show you I can do it better than you, will you stop?" Little Johnny agreed and the teacher placed two pieces of paper on the floor with identical piles of chalk dust on each one. Johnny dropped his pants, squatted down, farted and blew all but a tiny little speck of dust off the paper. The teacher lifted her skirt, dropped her panties, squatted down and farted but when she was done, there wasn't even a trace of chalk dust left on the paper. Johnny was astonished and asked if he could see her do it again. She was willing and as she repeated the process. Johnny peeked up underneath her skirt. "No wonder you won!" he exclaimed indignantly, "you've got a double-barrel!" Your gene pool needs a little chlorine
IAmMighty	posted on 03-22-2001 @ 11:15 PM
Psychopath Registered: Sep. 00	One day in class the teacher asks her students to name what their father does for a living and spell it. First up is Mary, she says, "My daddy is a lawyer, L-A-W-Y-E-R, lawyer." "Very good" the teacher proclaims. Next is Tommy, "My dad's a fireman, F-I-R-E-M-A-N, fireman." "Fantastic" says the teacher. Next is Tyrone, "My dad's a janitor, J-E-N-I-D-G-B-A-T." To this the teacher says, "Well Tyrone why don't you go home tonight and practice, then you can try again tomorrow." From the back of the class Little Johnnie stands up and says, "My dad's a bookie, B-O-O-K-I-E, and he's betting 5 to 1 the shine can't spell janitor tomorrow." "Did you punch her in the bunt!?"
TFEC Coming Soon!!! The Grand Opening of The Junkyard Bar & Grill!	posted on 03-23-2001 @ 4:01 AM
O&A Board Regular Registered: Sep. 00	This is a thread for little Johnny jokes thus then, inbyfacto you get a DILLON!! FUCK 5 MINUTES!!! THE BOMBING STARTS NOW!!!!!!!!!!! LONG LIVE SYNDICATION UNDERGROUND!!! LET'S GO DEVILS!!!! LET'S GO GIANTS!!!!
Other white meat	posted on 03-27-2001 @ 3:11 AM
Psychopath Registered: Nov. 00	The teacher asks little Johnny if he knows his numbers. "Yes," he says, "I do. My father taught me." "Good. What comes after three?" "Four," answers little Johnny. "What comes after six?" "Seven." "Very good," says the teacher. "Your dad did a good job. What comes after ten?" Little Johnny smiles and says, "Jack." Your gene pool needs a little chlorine
Other white meat	posted on 04-10-2001 @ 11:54 PM
Psychopath Registered: Nov. 00	Little Johnny is at school, and at the end of the day the teacher, Mrs. Applebee, asks the students to bring one electrical appliance, for "Show & Tell" the next day. So the next day every kid has something. Mrs. Applebee asks Wendy, "What did you bring?" Wendy replies, "I brought a Walkman." Then Mrs. Applebee inquires, "And what is it for?" Wendy says, "You can listen to music with it!" Mrs. Applebee notes, "That is nice Wendy, and what did you bring, Kenny?" Kenny answers, "I brought an electric can opener, it opens cans, miss!" Mrs. Applebee says, "Well done, Kenny, but I see that Johnny didn't bring anything!" Little Johnny answers, "Yes, I did. It's in the hall." The whole class looks out into the hall. Mrs. Applebee asks, "What is THAT?" Johnny responds, "It's my Dad's heart/lung device. He uses it to keep his heart going!" Mrs. Applebee asks in a worried tone, "What did your father say about you taking it?" "He said, 'AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!'" replies Little Johnny. Your gene pool needs a little chlorine
Jon Benet Norton G.O.O.F.B.A.H.G.S. GTA3 Criminal Activity Specialist	posted on 04-11-2001 @ 12:04 AM
Psychopath Registered: Dec. 00	Little Johnny and his dad are walking throught the park one day when Johnny sees 2 gay guys walking together. Little Johnny says, "Hey Dad look at those 2 bow-legged bastards!" Dad says, "Thats not nice don't ever say that again!" They walk through the park a little further and Johnny sees 2 more gay guys and says, "Hey Dad look, 2 more bow-legged bastards!" Dad says, "THAT'S IT!" Drags Johhny home and locks him in his room and slides 3 volumes of Shakespeare under the door. A month later Dad lets Little Johnny out of his room and now Johnny is a changed boy. "Father can we take a walk in yonder park?" So dad and Johhny are walking through the park and Johnny sees 2 gay guys and say, "Father what strange men are these? There balls hang in parentheses!" My adopted newbies are OPM * Chick and Bangster. Check out my other sigs:Visit this Website "The saddest thing in life is wasted talent" -Machiavelli-
The Brain He's good at teh rhyming questions	posted on 04-11-2001 @ 12:12 AM
O&A Board Regular Registered: Feb. 01	Little Johnny and Dirty Suzie are playing out in Suzie's backyard when all of a sudden Suzie turns to Johnny and says, "Pull down your pants. Johnny does this, and then Suzie points at his penis and says, "What's that?" Johnny replies, "I dunno... i'll ask my pop tonight." That night, Johnny catches his pop coming out of the shower. Pointing at his pop's johnson, he asks, "Hey, Dad, what's that?" His father says, "Boy, that is a penis... in fact, it's a perfect penis." The next day Johnny is playing with Suzie again in her backyard, and she asks him to drop trou. Again she points and asks, "Did you find out what it is?" Johnny says, "Yeah, it's a penis... in fact, if it were two inches shorter, it'd be a perfect penis." "ARE YOU PONDERING WHAT I'M PONDERING?"
King f-tard	posted on 04-11-2001 @ 11:35 AM
O&A Board Regular Registered: Feb. 01	The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon little Johnny, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude. But eventually his turn came. Little Johnny walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down. Well the teacher couldn't figure out what Johnnie had in mind for his report on something exciting, so she asked him just what that was. "It's a period," reported Johnny. "Well I can see that," she said. "But what is so exciting about a period." "Damned if I know," said Johnnie, "but this morning my sister said she missed one. Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mummy fainted and the man next door shot himself." Official driver of the Tart Cart (Helmets are in the back) I thought we were all just having fun... Now GRADUATED by Ronreddog - I'm touched (but not by YOU)

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