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The Unofficial Opie & Anthony Message Board - Worst Sex Stories..in the gonzostyle ofcourse.

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Displaying 26-42 of 42 messages in this thread.
Posted ByDiscussion Topic: Worst Sex Stories..in the gonzostyle ofcourse.
Banana_juice
posted on 02-27-2001 @ 4:48 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Jan. 01
kind of like eating strawberry yogurt, with those little peanut butter bites scattered on top,and some milk to wash it down with .

proud graduate of Newbie University. Honor Student of Lord Magus's class.
E-Mail Me

GonzoStyle
posted on 02-27-2001 @ 4:50 PM      
Hanger-On
Registered: Jan. 70
quote:

kind of like eating strawberry yogurt, with those little peanut butter bites scattered on top,and some milk to wash it down with .



Damn now i'm fuckin hungry thanks a lot banana


Do you know how pale & wanton thrillful
comes death on a strange hour unannounced,
unplanned for like a scaring over-friendly
guest you've brought to bed
Death makes angels of us all
& gives us wings where we had shoulders
smooth as raven's claws
--Jim Morrison (An American Prayer)
Calm Your Nut
posted on 02-27-2001 @ 4:51 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Nov. 00
I am cracking my ass off reading this thread.



Proud to watch over "Mud Juice and Drunken GW"
Banana_juice
posted on 02-27-2001 @ 7:38 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Jan. 01
it took me until just now to get up an appetite to eat.

proud graduate of Newbie University. Honor Student of Lord Magus's class.
E-Mail Me

Froy
King Shit
*board owner*

posted on 02-27-2001 @ 8:08 PM      
O&A Board Veteran
Registered: Feb. 01
Just when I thought this thread couldn't get any more disturbingly funny


~Matt/Froy from Jersey
The Hell Hole

Official Protector of Gay Marco & SwampJunk...if he ever decides to post.

Also providing total immunity to Fayth
GonzoStyle
posted on 02-27-2001 @ 8:26 PM      
Hanger-On
Registered: Jan. 70
fory i agree it trully is an amazingt thing at times.


Do you know how pale & wanton thrillful
comes death on a strange hour unannounced,
unplanned for like a scaring over-friendly
guest you've brought to bed
Death makes angels of us all
& gives us wings where we had shoulders
smooth as raven's claws
--Jim Morrison (An American Prayer)
SFShield
posted on 02-27-2001 @ 8:51 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Feb. 01
I would of made her wash my junk and pay pay for a new bed.

opak
posted on 02-27-2001 @ 9:35 PM      
O&A Board Veteran
Registered: May. 00
Ok here we go...time for opak's turn in the barrel.

Was in the middle of doing it with this girl on the floor...we are really going at it...all of the sudden she stops and starts...hold on to your seats...fucking CRYING!! She said..."I cant tell if I'm satisfying you or not"

Well that was one way not too...jesus I cant belive im posting this...

Banana_juice
posted on 02-28-2001 @ 11:51 AM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Jan. 01
opak,
how did you answer her. i am dying to hear this.

proud graduate of Newbie University. Honor Student of Lord Magus's class.
E-Mail Me

GonzoStyle
posted on 02-28-2001 @ 1:54 PM      
Hanger-On
Registered: Jan. 70
Opak can i say that i am honored you're sharing with us. I mean to some that story may not seem so bad but knowing your personality. That's a big step....::sniff sniff:: I feel like we're all becoming a family ova here.

But i had a similar experience with my first girlfriend. She was my first and I was kinda nervous the 1st couple times and i was one of those no noise guys. Hey i was a kid what do you want?

But the sick part was i lost my virginity in my moms bed and i didnt even change the sheets. But it was like the 3rd time we we're having sex on the washing machine in the bathroom. Cause she came in after going to the gym and she wanted to shower so i figure i'll fuck her and get her even i'll be able to be filthier since she's gonna shower anyway. And in the middle she stops me and gets all serious and asks me if she pleases me? and then i told her to shut the fuck up and she smacked me and i we talked and after that it was much better. Cause she told me it was ok to call her a cunt whore during sex just not at the dinner table with her parents.


Do you know how pale & wanton thrillful
comes death on a strange hour unannounced,
unplanned for like a scaring over-friendly
guest you've brought to bed
Death makes angels of us all
& gives us wings where we had shoulders
smooth as raven's claws
--Jim Morrison (An American Prayer)
Kim
posted on 04-03-2001 @ 3:10 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Jan. 01
Gonzo... I thought I'd read the "eggplant" story before...Once you read something like that once you never forget...lol

MaynardGKrebs
posted on 04-03-2001 @ 3:53 PM      
O&A Board Veteran
Registered: Jan. 01
He used it more times then this Kim.

FoundryMusicJeff
posted on 04-03-2001 @ 4:09 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Jan. 01
I was getting a BJ from my ex-girlfriend...I was about to pop when I asked her to remove her head and finish me off manually...well let's just say that girl had quite a pumping arm...and I shot a load about 2 feet into the air...arced and landed square on my cheek. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh

I develop hard to navigate websites.


Sean Cold 3:16
posted on 04-03-2001 @ 6:06 PM      
Hanger-On
Registered: Jan. 70
Fuck, jeff, I knew you were a Cum catcher but damn!

I was only fuckin joking!

Now do me a favor and keep the hell away from me Mr. Cum Cheeks!

And Thats The Bottom Line.....


E-Mail Me


Did you kill your father, sleep with your mother, idolize your sister, were you jealous of your brother, did you kick the dawg, were you beat with a strap,were you really abused or were you faking all that?
TOO TENSE!!


Please do me a favor if I ask and fuckin' kill yourself!

GonzoStyle
posted on 04-04-2001 @ 2:17 AM      
Hanger-On
Registered: Jan. 70
thanks kim cause no one on this board ever posts something more than once every couple of months. I see that all your great posts always make me laugh. I come up with so much shit and all the people who like to break my balls never come up with anything original on their own. Thanks for showing that you care that you actually went and looked this up and bought it back up.

Now how about doing me a favor and go and come up with something original every fuckin day of the week and lets see how fresh you can be every fuckin day. I know i reuse my stuff at times but it is mine no one elses i come up with it and i come up with a lot.

It's not just you but a few people are breaking my balls and i say fuck you all. You complain yet do nothing yourselves. and maynard i wouldnt talk about redundancy if i were you.

KID TOUCHING FREAK OF OA.COM. TOUCH MY SCHMEKEL. TOUCHING CHILDREN ONE AT A TIME YOU DIRTY WHORES.
Have you come here for forgiveness
Have you come to raise the dead
Have you come here to play Jesus
To the lepers in your head


evilnav
posted on 04-04-2001 @ 3:05 AM      
Hanger-On
Registered: Mar. 01
So there I am in this bar in the Phillipines, drunk off my ass. This Mammasan leads my drunk ass back to my hotel room. She's not the best lookin chick in the place, but it was free and it's not a bad idea to bang the Mammasan every once in awhile. We get back to the room it's pitch black, and the clothes come flyin off. She's running her tongue over every inch of my naughty spots. It's my turn to give her oral pleasure, so I'm attacking the hell out of her tits-biting down on these fuckers hard. All of a sudden I feel something come off in my mouth. Me being as drunk as I was spit it out and procede to go to town. I think its her nipple but she doesn't say anything about it so i figured it couldn't be that bad and continue lickin her tits and railing her for at least an hour. Next morning I take a piss come back to bed and see this fucking oozing sore above her left tit. After I finished yacking my brains out I kicked the bitches ass out the door.
That is by far the sickest thing to ever happen to me.

,
Self improvement is masturbation
CacaSmooches
posted on 04-04-2001 @ 12:39 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Dec. 00
Damn, Banana, you sure you weren't banging my ex? As for the Woman Crying thing, I know what you went through man... It has happened to me Twice with 2 different women(what are the chances of that?)! And it freaked me out both times... Well after the second time I decided to do a little research, and find out more about this phenomenon. It turns out from talking to other women, and doing a lot of reading on sexuality... When a woman cries like that, it's because she is having a real deep orgasm. I also come to find out that a woman has 8 levels of Orgasms that she can achieve, and that passing out, I think is the highest. I'm not completely sure, I just read this stuff in Walden Books once, never bought any of the books, but it's some pretty freaky shit none the less.

"Kyle, I'm just a stupid piece of crap..." Just some nuggets (with corn) of wisdom from the bottom of the Jersey City Sewer Department



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Displaying 26-42 of 42 messages in this thread.