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| Posted By | Discussion Topic: Need some advice please | ||||
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| squidink | posted on 06-12-2001 @ 8:07 PM |    | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Feb. 01  | Have been liustening to O&A for about 2 years now, and have mostly been a lurker on the board. My pops died 4 years ago, and i promised him that I would keep an eye on my mom. I am a truck driver, right now I am teatching at a state funded tractor trailer school in New Jersey, and don't really make shit. We have mostly State, and welfare funded recipients. I was just offered a job today as a road trainer for a large trucking company, I would make about $2000 a week if I took it, but am not sure what to do, because of the promise I made my dad before he died. My mom seems like she is losing touch with reality, and, is not sure what is what. But, on the other hand, I have my own life to live, don't I?. I do have a bunch of neighbors that would call me if anything happened. But, I am not sure. Any advice that anybody on the board that has been through something similar could give me, would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.  I'M A BIG DOG NOW | ||||
| WNEWs GIRL i don't have a mule but i have a cock Intercontinental Intergender Thumb Wrestling Champion CUNT ROCKETTE The new "third". AmyMohrBuddy One line in my sig is absolutely fucking disgusting, see if you can find it. | posted on 06-12-2001 @ 8:19 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Aug. 00 | damn you are in a tough situation is there anyone else that can take care of your mom i think its important that you stay and take care of her but you do have a point about having your own life to live maybe if you can see if there is anyone to help her out while you work WHATEVER BEN -----------------------------------------------------------------  I'M ON THE ISLAND OF MISFIT TOYS! Famous Giant Hot Dog Molester "The best lessons in life are also the most painful" I love Danilo! | ||||
| Ronreddog | posted on 06-12-2001 @ 8:25 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | First, I feel for you also. Second, I would like to think that you can take this job offer, and make them understand your situation. It would be tough to balance, but, you can do it. Finally, I wish you all the best. It is a difficult situation, and I hope everything works out for you.  Sig pic courtesy of the recently resurrected CBH, one sick F! Please WOW this bully today! E-Mail Me | ||||
| mikeWOW | posted on 06-12-2001 @ 8:27 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Sep. 00 | dude- i m sorry. i am onl 19 and dont know what too say. you are in the toughest position i could imagine "i hate people that dont get it!" | ||||
| SweetAngel | posted on 06-12-2001 @ 8:29 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: May. 01 | Hey Squid, that's a "between a rock and a hard place" situation if I ever heard one. I assume that you'll be on the road and not home very often if you take the new job. Is there a way you could somehow get the best of both worlds? Maybe get a local territory or something? Have you talked to mom about this? Maybe she would have a suggestion. Do you have other family around that could help out? How long would you be gone at a time? There are visiting nurses that will come and assist people who can't or shouldn't live alone. That's an option you could explore. I wish you luck. I wouldn't want to have to make that choice.  | ||||
The sky is blue | posted on 06-12-2001 @ 8:34 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Oct. 00 | I feel for ya man. While I'm not at the age where my parents are old enough to be in the same state as your mom, currently, everyone in my family is staying in close touch with my grandmother, who has not been in the best of health. I can't really tell ya which way to turn, but think of it like this: If your mother cared for you and made sure you had a good childhood, do the best you can to make sure she gets the same same amount of love. See My Sig Pics! If you want to be adopted by me IM me at fezoanda and email me at meguyelvis@hotmail.com Currently I've adopted meatballnip | ||||
| Spork | posted on 06-12-2001 @ 8:36 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Jun. 01 | That's definitely a tough decision, no doubt about it, but I think you have to also look at this down the road. If you're truly making squat right now, I don't think that's going to help you OR your mom down the road. Now suppose when your mom gets older that she develops an illness or Alzheimers or something like that (God willing, she won't, but it's definitely a possibility). Are you going to be more able to afford that sort of care for her in a good facility, say, making what you are making now or do you think you might have a better go of it with what you could make with the big company (factoring in raises each year, etc. etc.) I don't think that parents ever want to hold their children back from achieving great things and being all that they can be, but as others have said here you can strike a balance. I just suggest to you to take all the opportunities that you can with your career. Maybe with this new job if you find things aren't working out you could take a job that pays lower than the new one but more than the old one and you could only get the job down the road because you were a road trainer? Who knows man, life has way too many variables in it. Your dad would want you to take care of his wife, your mother, but I also think he'd want to see his son make him proud by doing well in his profession. It's a difficult decision, but go with what you need so that hopefully you will be better equipped to take care of your mom in her time of need and also so that you won't "burden" your children with that sort of thing either. Everything will work out if you stay positive and work hard at balancing it all. Good luck man.  Adopted by Rone on 6/6/01 | ||||
| Is Don on the phone? | posted on 06-12-2001 @ 9:25 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Jan. 01 | quote: Depending on what you mean by this, I have two suggestions: 1. Make sure your mom gets a good evaluation by a geriatric specialist regarding her mental condition. Should your mom have a severe chronic (long term) condition such as Alzheimers, your best bet would be to take that job, as you will need the extra cash for a quality nursing facility. If she is just a little spacey, and nothing is medically wrong, I think you can take the job, keep in touch while on ther road, and stop in when you can get a chance off the road. 2. Keep in mind that you have to live for yourself as well as your family. Just make sure you know what you are dealing with insofar as your mother's condition before you make any big life-changing decisions. If (God Forbid) she only has a limited time of lucidity, you may want to stick around while you can still have quality time. One of the fondest memories I have of my grandfather were the brief moments of lucidity he had in the months before his death. Sharing a laugh, or watching a ballgame, or just telling him about my day was truly special. Good luck, and whatever you do, don't play "Hi Mom, I'm _________..."  AIM:isdononthephone | ||||
| squidink | posted on 06-12-2001 @ 9:38 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Feb. 01 | Guys, thanks. I appreciate all your help. It is just that the whole damn mess is a conundrum, I mean, most of the time she is with it. But, alot of the time she loses it, and gets very paranoid. Last night for example, here, just like everywhere else, we had some thunderstorms. But, when they started, she ran down, and hid in the basement, because she thought that a tornado was coming. It is the irrational behavior like that that has me wondering. God forbid, that one day I have to have my mom placed in a home. Because, as it stands right now, I couldn't afford a weeks stay at the motel6. If I take the new job, I can afford a hell of alot more, but won't be able to keep as close of an eye on her as I would like. Therein, lies the dilema. I just don't know what the heck to do. Thanks. I'M A BIG DOG NOW | ||||
| jewdown | posted on 06-12-2001 @ 10:40 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Jan. 01 | If your mother, god forbid, needs professional care, then you do need to take this job. I am sure you father would want you take care of your mother by any means necessary. If you take this job you can make the money needed to pay for the proper care she requires. He would want you to make the decision which is best for both of you. And I am sure you are a the kind of stand up guy who will visit as much as he can. Good luck. "I was born in the desert, raised in a lion's den" | ||||
| DannyNoonan | posted on 06-12-2001 @ 11:02 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Apr. 01 | quote: Considering that lightning struck 20 ft from my place and they removed a 150 ft tree from my back yard today, I don't think she was being irrational...this may seem like "devil's advocate" but, my friend, squidink, get PROFESSIONAL help. Don't look for it on a message board. These people are smart but not trained (anyone?) for this circumstance of life. Good luck, sir. :) | ||||
| GonzoStyle | posted on 06-13-2001 @ 3:15 AM | | |||
| Hanger-On Registered: Jan. 70 | well everyone pretty much made very valid suggestions, i don't need to sit here and reply how tough the situation is cause i think you know. Don made some very valid points, my suggestion is dude take the job if you can be more financially secure then do it. But i would reccomend a private nurse maybe or a home attendant to look after her. This way she can get some help around the house and also have someone to look after her, cause i always thought nursing homes were well a shitty thing to do. But this is a major decision my friend do what is both best for her and you. Most importantly just cherish every moment you have with her man, cause i can see you do love your mom man and that is something you don't see much today.   People say that I'm a bad influence I say the world's already fucked, I'm just addin to it You probably think that I'm a negative person I don't promote violence, I just encourage it Fuck it, you only live once you might as well die now She-Mail Me Here | ||||
| skitchr4u G.O.O.F.B.A.H.G.S. Xtreme Skiing Assualt Force | posted on 06-13-2001 @ 8:35 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Dec. 00 | Sorry to hear about this squid. I would reccomend, just like others, that you seek professional help and find out what, if anything can be done to help your mothers episodes. I personally think I would take the job so that I would be more financially able to help her further down the road, but only if I could find some other family member or neighbor help me out and call should something happen. Also, I would definately look into a hospice nurse type situation and see if they could come in once a day or so, just to make sure all is well with her. Best of luck! | ||||
USA Autoban Head Slap... Swim Move... | posted on 06-13-2001 @ 8:47 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Oct. 00 | Email me. | ||||
| Grumpy SAGILLID The Midget Message Board Mauler rides his trusty mount Wilbur once again!! Internet Idiots beware!! | posted on 06-13-2001 @ 9:26 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Dec. 00 | Squid, I come from a background where family comes before all. BUT, I agree with Don on this one. You won't be doing either of you any good by not taking the job. If your financial situation is gonna get better then take the job. She's gonna need a lot help down the line and that means financial support. If your mom is over 62, she qualifies for a lot of different Government programs that specialize in your type of situation. There's the visiting nurse programs that check in on her on a periodic basis. These programs know the ins and outs of all the government grants and assistance programs. They can help you look for the financial alternatives. Good luck bro. I seriously feel for you.  Newest member of Grumpy's Adopted Midgets: ShavinBush Any inappropriate behaviour should be reported to me. If you're having problems with your sig pic site host, feel free to go here: Visit this Website | ||||
| squidink | posted on 06-13-2001 @ 1:12 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Feb. 01 | Guys, thanks for the advice, look like I have to take the job now anyway. This morning, pulled into work, and all the other instructors are standind out in the parking lot, The damn gates were chained shut, nobody knows what is going on, we stood around till 10:00, and nothing. Life is strange, you know??? The supervisor hadn't even heard anything. I'M A BIG DOG NOW | ||||
| Spork | posted on 06-13-2001 @ 1:18 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Jun. 01 | I guess when I said:quote: ...that's the sort of thing that I'm talking about. Life just works like that way too many times. Good luck with the new job, maybe this is "a sign"? Adopted by Rone on 6/6/01 | ||||
| Reign | posted on 06-13-2001 @ 1:40 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Oct. 00 | I guess the decission was made for you when you arrived at work. Take the job, it will help you take better care of your mom.  O&A TRIBE | ||||
| Unicron | posted on 06-13-2001 @ 2:01 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Mar. 01 | sorry...my point was already made a number of times n this tread...sorry for the post. good day sir.  This message was edited by Unicron on 6-13-01 @ 2:03 PM | ||||
Displaying 1-19 of 19 messages in this thread. |