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 Displaying 26-50 of 67 messages in this thread. |
| Posted By | Discussion Topic: Dear Grumpy (part II) - aka - Psychos R US | ||||
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| The Brain | posted on 06-26-2001 @ 1:27 PM |    | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Feb. 01  | Dear Grumpy: I contemplated following your advice, until I realized that the "White Gloved One" you were referring me to works for a competing company, and talking to him would be in violation of my contract. I also came to the conclusion that frankly, this society needs change, and that this change would best be initiated with me at its helm. This is why I have begun to implement a plan to change the Earth's level of gravitational pull in such a way that anyone over the height of 4'6" will be sent careening into outer space. I understand that this unfortunately means you will survive this procedure, but I consider that a small (pun intended) price to pay for GLOBAL DOMINATION! Thanks again, Grumpy. Sincerely, Your Future World Leader P.S.-- "Pinky" says "Narf".  Proving Dogs and Mice can co-exist! Proud Member of RonReddog's OA.COM C-Blocking Team!!! This message was edited by The Brain on 6-26-01 @ 2:03 PM | ||||
| Grumpy SAGILLID The Midget Message Board Mauler rides his trusty mount Wilbur once again!! Internet Idiots beware!! | posted on 06-26-2001 @ 1:32 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Dec. 00 | Dear Joey TwigArms, Safe or out is a matter of perception. It's more than just the timing of foot on bag versus ball in glove. It also involves money for bribe and beer supplied to ump. So to answer your question - maybe. I hope I've been able to shed some light on your problem. Grumpy ========================================== Dear Cock Licking Slave (CLS), Your violent tendencies towards the vertically challenged are not unusual. Violence is general is derived from a sense of anger. What are you angry about? Are you angry that you haven't gotten laid in over 2 years? Is it your closet fetish of wearing your mom's underwear and not being able to be open about it that makes you angry? Could it have something to do with that incident with you and the 3 guys in BedStuy? I know rape is an aweful thing. you shouldn't blame yourself. It wasn't your fault. In order to confront your problem, you must confront your anger. My recommendation is to drink heavily and then when you're done, drink some more. You'll get over your issues quicker. I hope I've been able to shed some light on your problem. Grumpy  Newest member of Grumpy's Adopted Midgets: ShavinBush Any inappropriate behaviour should be reported to me. If you're having problems with your sig pic site host, feel free to go here: Visit this Website Alcohol! The ultimate excuse! | ||||
| o&aswallow | posted on 06-26-2001 @ 1:35 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Jan. 01 | Dear Grumpy, A follow up is required. So if I'm to believe that your advice to me was correct and accurate, then are you suggesting that the pain that I experience when trying to walk is not from being overworked but in fact is arthritus?? Signed, Delusional My Ass.  o&aswallow Recognized His Destiny Early. Too Many Hotties, Not Enough Horny Goat Weed Now accepting foster children applications. Cash only, no checks. Email at onaswallow@opieanthony.com Pia has occupied one of the foster bedrooms as of 6/22/01. If she is naughty, I'll do the spanking. jackal420 has entered foster care on 6/25/01. I've had to put ankle bracelets on this one, so give him time. It at first you don't succeed, keep on sucking till you do suck seed. - Curly Howard. Pennsylvania resident, but original NYC listener. | ||||
| Grumpy SAGILLID The Midget Message Board Mauler rides his trusty mount Wilbur once again!! Internet Idiots beware!! | posted on 06-26-2001 @ 1:45 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Dec. 00 | Dear Delusional Old Ass, Yes, pain when walking can be associated with Arthritis. But in your case, pain when walking can also be associated with the large foreign objects you tend to put up said "old ass". If you'd stop playing hide the eggplant, you'll find that walking and moving in general will become less painful. If you must use vegetables, try stringbeans. The ladies tell me that's about the size of your junk anyway. It's always better to go with something you're familiar with. I hope I've been able to shed some light on your problem. Grumpy Newest member of Grumpy's Adopted Midgets: ShavinBush Any inappropriate behaviour should be reported to me. If you're having problems with your sig pic site host, feel free to go here: Visit this Website Alcohol! The ultimate excuse! | ||||
I Need An Old Priest And A Young Priest | posted on 06-26-2001 @ 2:05 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | quote: Grumpy thanks for your help, but it was not my problem... you called him out!  Officially Part of JWO: skitchr4u, JasonFromRiverEdge & Jesus H Christ | ||||
| CriticsLoveSnatch i know better than to ask for a status from you mean ol' mods I shall call him mini-FTL | posted on 06-26-2001 @ 2:07 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | well grumpy was just soooo fuckin helpful with my last problem, i figured i'd try and see if he can manage another one Dear Grumpy, thank you for your help with my anger issues, but my problems with midgets continue. now whenever i see one i start saying words that aren't even real words, like "ibne" and "oruspu cocuk." what does that mean? i don't even know what such works translate to, but every time i see a dwarf i end up telling them "siktir git," not only that but i spell those words wrong. is there a reason that i'm saying jibberish like this? thank you. sincerely, bir gun herkez fenerli olacak  Here's to the nights we felt alive Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry Here's to goodbye, tomorrow is gonna come too soon... | ||||
| Grumpy SAGILLID The Midget Message Board Mauler rides his trusty mount Wilbur once again!! Internet Idiots beware!! | posted on 06-26-2001 @ 2:12 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Dec. 00 | Dear Asswipe, If you'd bother to take the dick out your mouth on occassion, you'd realize that those were real words like "I am gay", "please bend me over", "would you like a hummer". I hope I've been able to shed some light on your problem. Grumpy Newest member of Grumpy's Adopted Midgets: ShavinBush Any inappropriate behaviour should be reported to me. If you're having problems with your sig pic site host, feel free to go here: Visit this Website Alcohol! The ultimate excuse! | ||||
| Cap'n Fudge | posted on 06-26-2001 @ 2:25 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | Dear Grumpy, When basting a turkey, should I use stock or the drippings from the turkey pan? Julie C, from England I hate this job! I hate this goddamn job and I don't need it!!!  capnfudge@opieanthony.com People say that I neglect my responsibilities But I don't mind cause I'll live longer. Need Adoption??? Now accepting applications for the crew. | ||||
| Grumpy SAGILLID The Midget Message Board Mauler rides his trusty mount Wilbur once again!! Internet Idiots beware!! | posted on 06-26-2001 @ 2:34 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Dec. 00 | Dear Julia, You ignorant old hunchback bitch, you! It's good to hear from you again. When basting a Turkey, you must always remember to baste the inside, as well as the outside. This is best achieved by sticking the baster deep inside and penetrating the back orafice. Just remember to use the "Cooking" baster and not the one you use to give yourself those red wine high colonics. As for the invitation to Thanksgiving Dinner this year, thank you but I shall have to pass. My doctor has ordered me to a strict diet that excluded feces, ecoli and streptacockus. I hope I've been able to shed some light on your problem. Grumpy Newest member of Grumpy's Adopted Midgets: ShavinBush Any inappropriate behaviour should be reported to me. If you're having problems with your sig pic site host, feel free to go here: Visit this Website Alcohol! The ultimate excuse! | ||||
| Brokenjaw Always will bow down to the power of the Faceman!!!! | posted on 06-26-2001 @ 2:34 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Nov. 00 | Dear Frumpy, Here's the thing, for some reason I love to eat spinach and smoke a corn cob pipe.Also I like to look at dead animals and jerkoff to them. Are these two things normal? Please help me...  Feel like I’m living at the bottom of a grave. I wish you’d hurry up and execute me So I can be on my miserable way I don’t live today. | ||||
I have Cool-Mod-Powers and can read the Cool-Mod-Forum, then I drive home in my Cool-Mod-Car UFC | posted on 06-26-2001 @ 2:42 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | Dear Grumpy, I have a problem.. I haven't been able to laugh lately... make me laugh grumpy.. like in the old days... when you'ld paint up the pig and he'ld dance while you played the caliope.. please grumpy?  No! I am NOT a Goth Dude!! "Good? Bad? I'm the guy with the gun!" | ||||
| GrkqtOandAfan Claim staked by FTL. | posted on 06-26-2001 @ 2:42 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | you should always properly mariNADE your chicken Julia Dr. Mr. Grumpy sir, I hope you can help me with my problem. I am a TEEN girl who has these tendencies to have fantasies of other members of the board. I hope you can help me with this problem because i keep having naughty thoughts and images in my head of what their "sig pic" could be doing to me in real life. Is there anything you could reccommend. These fantasies have been making me unable to concentrate on my daily activities (work, school, etc.) - A Teen in Need  CIT (Cuties in Training): none, have room for 2 email me if you want to be a Cutie Yahman - Certified Cutie as of 6/19/01 | ||||
| Cap'n Fudge | posted on 06-26-2001 @ 2:46 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | Dear Grumpy, Do know the voice in your head?(The one that is like your own voice, not the one that tells you to chop up your mother's body) Mine sounds like the guy from "Behind the Music" and my thoughts get mixed up with the story of the Doobie Brothers. What's wrong with me? China Grove whoa oh oh whoa oh China Grove I hate this job! I hate this goddamn job and I don't need it!!! capnfudge@opieanthony.com People say that I neglect my responsibilities But I don't mind cause I'll live longer. Need Adoption??? Now accepting applications for the crew. | ||||
| Grumpy SAGILLID The Midget Message Board Mauler rides his trusty mount Wilbur once again!! Internet Idiots beware!! | posted on 06-26-2001 @ 2:49 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Dec. 00 | Dear Mr. Magoo, [heavy brooklyn accent] What do I like? A fuckin comedian? Do I amuse you? What am I? A fuckin clown? heh? you want advise, you come to me. You wanna laugh, drop your pants and looks in the mirror. Since you asked, here's a joke for you... did you hear about the guy in the bushes with an ATM machine? No? Too bad. It's pretty gay but fuckin funny. Thank you and have a nice fuckin day! Grumpy ============================================== Dear Popeye, To this day, I still can't figure out what you saw in that anorexic little twig Olive Oil. Tell me, seeing how skinny she was, I bet she was a wide as mack truck. Was it like throwing a hot dog down a hallway? As for the dead animal thing, its nice to see you've moved on from pictures of furniture. I hope I've been able to shed some light on your problem. Grumpy Newest member of Grumpy's Adopted Midgets: ShavinBush Any inappropriate behaviour should be reported to me. If you're having problems with your sig pic site host, feel free to go here: Visit this Website Alcohol! The ultimate excuse! | ||||
| Grumpy SAGILLID The Midget Message Board Mauler rides his trusty mount Wilbur once again!! Internet Idiots beware!! | posted on 06-26-2001 @ 2:58 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Dec. 00 | Dear Teen in Need, It disturbs me that you'd want to have sex with Al Sharpton, Gilligan and a powder puff girl. I suggest you go on a strick regimen of lithium and prozac until you get over it. I hope I've been able to shed some light on your problem. Grumpy ========================================= Dear China Grove Dude, Voices are good. I knew this guy once that could do like 8000 different voices. He used to be a tin worker. Now he's got a gig doing radio somewhere. Rumor has it, he's got this group of sick individuals that write stuff electronically about his show. But there's a bunch of them that are like really really wacked out of their fucking minds. They need to find hobbies. But anyway, voices are good. Listen to the voices. You can learn from them. By the way - can you guys do an expose` on Samantha Fox. She can't sing for shit but damn those tahtahs rule. I hope I've been able to shed some light on your problem. Grumpy Newest member of Grumpy's Adopted Midgets: ShavinBush Any inappropriate behaviour should be reported to me. If you're having problems with your sig pic site host, feel free to go here: Visit this Website Alcohol! The ultimate excuse! | ||||
| danked Dankarella! | posted on 06-26-2001 @ 3:11 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Aug. 00 | Dear Grumpy, I like the Ol' Dirty Observations, though I know when the bit starts we'll see a few threads on how terrible everyone thinks he is. Is there something wrong with me? Name Witheld, No Doubt!  Proud adopter of SeeYouNextTuesday and VeronaFD264... they must report to my home to walk my dog and pick the stems and seeds from my weed. This message was edited by danked on 6-26-01 @ 3:23 PM | ||||
| Doc Smith I Love Anthony Zinni | posted on 06-26-2001 @ 3:15 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Sep. 00 | Note: I don't know what you're talking about Grumpy...I don't think Grkqt is crazy at all. I know every time I see my sig pic, my mind goes into a naughty place and I start to touch myself where my bathing suit covers On a more serious note, my car has started to make this odd thumping sound. I thought it was the girl I had tied up in the trunk until I realized I drive a pick-up truck and lack the aforementioned trunk (or boot, as they say in England). So, should I take my truck to Mieneke and get it looked at or have a good friend steal it, set it ablaze and let it roll into the ocean and split the insurance money with him. Thanks  From cowardice that dares not know the truth, From laziness that is content with half-truth, From arrogance that thinks it knows the whole truth, Deliver me | ||||
| Grumpy SAGILLID The Midget Message Board Mauler rides his trusty mount Wilbur once again!! Internet Idiots beware!! | posted on 06-26-2001 @ 3:15 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Dec. 00 | Danked, There is nothing wrong with liking Ol Dirty observations. Its perfectly normal. Your action reminds me of a friend in high school. He used to be on the weed. Day in day out. That boy was on the weed. Well one day, the principal called him into the office and stripped searched him for the weed. Well low and behold, it seemed that this friend of mine wasn't actually on the weed. He was just a complete freaking idiot with his head up his ass. He justed acted like he was on the weed so that people wouldn't find out. You remind me alot of him. I hope I've been able to shed some light on your problem. Grumpy Newest member of Grumpy's Adopted Midgets: ShavinBush Any inappropriate behaviour should be reported to me. If you're having problems with your sig pic site host, feel free to go here: Visit this Website Alcohol! The ultimate excuse! | ||||
The sky is blue | posted on 06-26-2001 @ 3:18 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Oct. 00 | Dear Dr. Grumpy, I have this friend who for all intensive purposes, shall be known as Frumpy. Along with a daily dose of jizz showers, Frumpy enjoys to sit on the handle of a plunger....butt naked. At the same time, Frumpy is dispensing advice to the masses...this worries me. I'm worried that this jizz-loving, plunger smuggler might give out advice which will woo others over to his jizz-plunger-fest ways. What should I do? Sincerely, Sitting outside your house with a ready SWAT team.  I'm still saved.... This message was edited by Fez on 6-26-01 @ 3:27 PM | ||||
| MaynardGKrebs | posted on 06-26-2001 @ 3:18 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Jan. 01 | OMG, a Samantha Fox reference. Who would've thunk. Next you're gonna be talking about Divinyls. "I love myself, I want you to love me...." LOL | ||||
| Grumpy SAGILLID The Midget Message Board Mauler rides his trusty mount Wilbur once again!! Internet Idiots beware!! | posted on 06-26-2001 @ 3:30 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Dec. 00 | Dear Doc, If the chick was hot and still has a pulse, take her out, fed-ex her to tiawan. I know people in the "trade" business (wink wink). Otherwise, call Two Toes Tony in Bensonhurst. I'm sure he can take the car off your hands for you. I hope I've been able to shed some light on your problem. Grumpy ============================================= Dear Dick, It seems you've been dipping into the mescaline again, haven't you? Things like this will happen when you join Al Sharpton's coalition and you're white. Next you'll be telling me that you;re oppressed and "The Man" is keeping you down. It's okay. Put the bad hair wig down and walk away. I know you can do it. I hope I've been able to shed some light on your problem. Grumpy Newest member of Grumpy's Adopted Midgets: ShavinBush Any inappropriate behaviour should be reported to me. If you're having problems with your sig pic site host, feel free to go here: Visit this Website Alcohol! The ultimate excuse! | ||||
The sky is blue | posted on 06-26-2001 @ 3:39 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Oct. 00 | Dear Grumpy, I wrote to you earlier about my friend "Frumpy." Well, the situation has gotten worse. After asking for advice, he responded with some weird black-splotation message. I'm afraid: Is this a weak attempt at humor, or is it somthing worse? Help me grumpy! Sincerely, I'm calling in the men in the white coats I'm still saved.... | ||||
| Grumpy SAGILLID The Midget Message Board Mauler rides his trusty mount Wilbur once again!! Internet Idiots beware!! | posted on 06-26-2001 @ 3:48 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Dec. 00 | Dear Al, Help your friend? Is this actually a cry for help for you? Tell me. Has it been difficult the last few months? Seeing your life deteriate? Having your peers abuse you and call you DICK day in, day out? No.... I don't think you're "friend" needs help. I think this is actually a cry for help for yourself. Fear not, Grumpy is here. You've charted into unknown territories. Going from sig pic whore to sarcastic wiseass is not an easy transition. Most of those who try fail and suffer in their own demise. It's always best to stay with what you know. I'm shipping you a box of crayola crayons (the 64 pack with the built in sharpener) and a stack of construction paper. Be merry! Draw til your heart's content. I hope I've been able to shed some light on your problem. Grumpy Newest member of Grumpy's Adopted Midgets: ShavinBush Any inappropriate behaviour should be reported to me. If you're having problems with your sig pic site host, feel free to go here: Visit this Website Alcohol! The ultimate excuse! | ||||
| Cap'n Fudge | posted on 06-26-2001 @ 3:55 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | Dear Grumpy, My pen pal Shirley is unfortunately incarcerated and isn't due for release until the next decade. When I see her for "special visits," she demands I "break her out." I'm not much on prison lingo, and I don't feel right asking her what that means, so usually I try to poke her ass, and hope that's the what she meant. Last night, I found out I was guessing wrong when she beat me to a bloody pulp and told me to "never bang her backdoor again." Can you help get my prison romance back on track? Johnny Gash I hate this job! I hate this goddamn job and I don't need it!!! capnfudge@opieanthony.com People say that I neglect my responsibilities But I don't mind cause I'll live longer. Need Adoption??? Now accepting applications for the crew. | ||||
| Grumpy SAGILLID The Midget Message Board Mauler rides his trusty mount Wilbur once again!! Internet Idiots beware!! | posted on 06-26-2001 @ 3:59 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Dec. 00 | Dear Gash, I think your association of back door action with prison is slightly off base. Unlike, when you were incarcerated, sex in prison does not always equal violent anal rapings. Sometimes sex is just sex. We went over this in your last therapy sessions. As for prison lingo, I'm no expert. I suggest you contact Brotha Al for answers to "what she meant". I hope I've been able to shed some light on your problem. Grumpy Newest member of Grumpy's Adopted Midgets: ShavinBush Any inappropriate behaviour should be reported to me. If you're having problems with your sig pic site host, feel free to go here: Visit this Website Alcohol! The ultimate excuse! | ||||
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Displaying 26-50 of 67 messages in this thread. |