Home | Search | FAQ
Displaying 1-15 of 15 messages in this thread. |
| Posted By | Discussion Topic: Best Excuses for getting out of work | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Sblueman Don't blame me... it's alt.fan.don-n-mike's fault! if my encode craps out my fist option is av8er | posted on 08-06-2001 @ 6:23 AM |    | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Sep. 00  | It's Monday again and most of us have to drag our asses into work today and hate every second of it. Some of us even wake up on Monday morning and scheme how to find a way to get out of going into work. We have all done it before, that early morning call to your boss, feigning a illness that has you on the brink of death for 24 hours. I was just wondering what have been some of the more clever and ingeneious excuses used to call out sick. I figure if we get enough good excuses posted, maybe some of us can borrow them and be able to save ourselves the indignity of coming up with the same old excuses that the boss has heard a million times(ex: I have a fever or the runs, my aunt in Jersey was eaten alive by a pack of wild dogs so I have to go to the hospital, my other aunt was in a car accident....man....I am going to run out of aunts). So what has been your best excuse you have used to get out of work ever? You never know....your post might save some poor soul from going in on a dreary Monday morning. "Future co-conspirator in the Chinese-American Dry Cleaning scandal" More feeds are more gooder! Live365.com keyword: Sblueman Sblueman Tecmo 2001: Visit this Website Having problems listening to the feed? Check out this link: Visit this Website | ||||
| FeelMyFunBags | posted on 08-06-2001 @ 9:45 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Jan. 01 | When my parents were out of town the people at my office knew it, so I knew I needed a good excuse to get out of work...so I lied and said that my bird was sick and that I had to take him to the animal hospital....worked like a charm... why do I say I'm fine when it's obvious I'm not? why's it so hard to tell you what I want? why can't you just read my mind? | ||||
| Doc Smith I Love Anthony Zinni | posted on 08-06-2001 @ 9:50 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Sep. 00 | Water pump Tell them the water pump on your car died. It makes your car overheat so you can't drive it. It's a pretyt simple repair though, just replacing something that on most cars sits right near the top of the engine, so you can make it in to work the next day without a problem. Other good car excuses (ones that will allow you to make it to work the next day but require your car to be in the shop for at least a few hours) radiator leaking/ruptured, head gasket blew, my car failed inspection for these new fucking emmisions in Jersey and I had to get it fixed today.  I can levitate birds. No one cares. | ||||
| skitchr4u G.O.O.F.B.A.H.G.S. Xtreme Skiing Assualt Force | posted on 08-06-2001 @ 9:56 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Dec. 00 | My tried and true reason for not making it in...just say you can't make it today, don't give a reason. Next day they ask you why, it was a family emergency. That way you don't run out of relatives, nor do you really have to lie. It was an emergency that I had to stay in bed watching cartoons all morning, and bad talk shows the rest of the day... AIM: SkiT4you First Member of the JWO Kindest regards to Grumpy for the sigpic | ||||
| Grumpy SAGILLID The Midget Message Board Mauler rides his trusty mount Wilbur once again!! Internet Idiots beware!! | posted on 08-06-2001 @ 9:57 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Dec. 00 | Deja Vu - did I see this thread before? Could have sworn I did. Can I use amnesia as an excuse for work? No? How about retardation? there's one you can use Blueman. Into each person's life a little pain must fall. I'm just here to administer it. | ||||
| FeelMyFunBags | posted on 08-06-2001 @ 9:58 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Jan. 01 | All this talk is making me want to take a sick day but rather than sit in bed all day, I want to like do something fun..... :( I wish I was a kid again when I could actually enjoy my summer because it meant no school and no work...now I'm spending my summer (and other times of the year) in an office, and taking summer classes.... :( why do I say I'm fine when it's obvious I'm not? why's it so hard to tell you what I want? why can't you just read my mind? | ||||
| Jennitalia | posted on 08-06-2001 @ 9:58 AM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Sep. 00 | i like to call in horny. usually i say i have to take my mom or stepdad to the hospital for a "procedure" and im needed for a ride to and from.  | ||||
| FeelMyFunBags | posted on 08-06-2001 @ 10:11 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Jan. 01 | Ya know the more and more I think about it...I think I might actually have a good idea...remember when you were in high school etc. and there was senior cut day and everybody did something really fun that day? We should make like an OA.com official cut day this way we can all play hooky rather than just talk about it :) why do I say I'm fine when it's obvious I'm not? why's it so hard to tell you what I want? why can't you just read my mind? | ||||
| bluetarp | posted on 08-06-2001 @ 10:13 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Jan. 01 | I don't actually report to an office. If my customers are all up and running, I don't have to work. I can sit here and fart around with my computer, watch TV, etc. No excuse needed. Then again, when it gets busy... I take personal time.  It looks just like a TeleFunken U-47, you'll love it. With leather? | ||||
| meatballnip | posted on 08-06-2001 @ 10:19 AM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Nov. 00 | although disgusting, saying you have the runs work every time. Once you say it on the phone your boss will be so grossed out they will automatically tell you to stay home.  graduated by Fez..but that does not make me a bad person. | ||||
| Arthur Dent | posted on 08-06-2001 @ 10:24 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Nov. 00 | Great Excuses for Not Going In To Work... If it is all the same to you, I won't be coming in to work. The voices told me to clean all the guns today. When I got up this morning, I took two Ex-Lax in addition to my Prozac. I can't get off the john, but I feel good about it. I set half the clocks in my house ahead an hour and the other half back an hour Saturday, and spent 18 hours in some kind of space-time continuum loop, reliving Sunday. I was able to exit the loop only by reversing the polarity of the power source exactly setting clocks in the house while simultaneously rapping my dog on the snout with a rolled up Times. Accordingly, I will be in late, or early. I prefer to remain an enigma. I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. Okay? I have a rare case of 48 hour projectile leprosy, but I know we have that deadline to meet... I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at Wal-Mart. Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorder and, hey, how about them Hoyas, huh? So, I won't be able to, yes, could I help you? No, no, I'll be sticking with Sprint, but thank you for calling. Constipation has made me a walking time bomb. I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn't come to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information. The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave me this jaw restraint so I won't bite things when I am startled. The dog swallowed my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet. My mother-in-law has come back as one of the Undead and we must track her to her coffin to drive a stake through her heart in order to give her eternal peace. One day should do it. I accidentally converted my calendar from Julian to Gregorian. I am extremely sensitive to a rise in the interest rates. I can't come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation. My stigmata's acting up.  I wonder how many people actually read the text people put under their sig pics. | ||||
| King f-tard | posted on 08-06-2001 @ 10:47 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Feb. 01 | quote: ROTFLMMFAOCTTOCISFO Also, just say you lost your babel fish, and cant understand what people are saying to you.  If you are interested in adoption, IM me Or E-Mail Me | ||||
| Sblueman Don't blame me... it's alt.fan.don-n-mike's fault! if my encode craps out my fist option is av8er | posted on 08-07-2001 @ 12:40 AM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Sep. 00 | HEY...I don't religiously read every GODDAMN post out there. I just come on this board to keep people posted on my feed of the show and occasionally shoot the shit. Thank you for the people who were able to respond to the post WITHOUT having a "Look at me I have 1,000,000 posts and feel like I somehow own stock in the board" attitude. Maybe what some of us need is to step away from the keyboard, open the front door, take a deep breath, and realize there is a real world beyond the little computer screen you consider your life at the moment. When the tree that grew up your ass is finally uprooted and taken out maybe you will feel inclined to join the human society. Some people need to grow up and not latch onto this board like it's their sole purpose for existing. So maybe I'll use retardation as my excuse and you can use utter uselessness and a waste of breath as yours……..  More feeds are more gooder! Live365.com keyword: Sblueman (Click here for a link to Live365.com's search result for Sblueman) Visit this Website Sblueman Tecmo 2001: Visit this Website Having problems listening to the feed? Check out this link: Visit this Website | ||||
| NJ Panther | posted on 08-07-2001 @ 12:57 AM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Feb. 01 | You see, I had to go to this bar in the city, and like, see this very talented musician who plays regularly every other week, and hang out with these crazy F'n people.....and seeing that I don't get home until like 3 or 4am....I won't be in today..... What?? worked for me.;)  "It's soooo cool to meet ya Anthony....(drunkin slurr) I've been a fan since Boston....(more drunkin slurr) I love your skits man..... I'm a big fan" Uhhhhh...Buttplug? | ||||
| Cluster F | posted on 08-07-2001 @ 1:00 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | Fell asleep in shower, then woke up and found out that my clothes were eaten by my pet snake, then when i went to my neighbors house to get clothes, i locked myself out of the house. Then when i broke in by smashing my window, the sprinkler went off and all the water went into the house, and the house started flooding. Then i got a flat tire once i started driving to work, and i then got lost and ended up in maryland somehow. Which is why i am late by, whats it been, 3 weeks?? | ||||
Displaying 1-15 of 15 messages in this thread. |