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 Displaying 1-25 of 26 messages in this thread. |
| Posted By | Discussion Topic: Little Essay of mine... | ||||
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| TheGooch Mullet Master Yo Gooch, Moron here... how's that for some fucked up shit... Fez is giving you status... Karma sucks, huh? | posted on 08-08-2001 @ 2:16 PM |    | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00  | Hope you don't mind this little essay in Off Topic...but it's something I'd like to share, and above all, it's something I need to get off my chest. I was going to put it in Gonzo's poetry topic, but it really doesn't fit. So here it is... I am quietly dying. For over thirty some odd years, I have sat, smile plastered to my face, as the truth became inexplicably larger and more difficult to bear. Somehow, this truth lay out-of-reach, and I sat complacent for so long unable to grasp what was so painfully obvious. It’s so simple of a truth, one which I had known since junior high school, as a teacher once said it as his viewpoint to life: "As soon as we are born, we are dying". And, I am quietly dying. Obviously, I am certainly not alone in this macabre endeavor. My brethren are mostly an unhappy lot, we sit quietly dying as a generation, shocked that the dot.com riches evaded our grasp, and have sunk our 401k’s back to the earth in miserable little clumps of lost dividends. Our unhappiness seems to be sung by musicians, all seemingly from Seattle…or are pretending to be, blasting through our headphones and speakers. We could buy them and sing along for a mere $15, but it’s so much easier to burn them courtesy of Napster. Unhappiness screamed like a banshee during the 90’s, but then ended with a shotgun blast in the head. Then it went back under the skin, hiding somewhere between the enlarged prostates, lumpy breasts and drug-addled brains. It hides behind boy-bands and Seattle-music clones. It lays waiting, It peeks out occasionally during the time between Prozac and Zoloft doses. Otherwise, it sits quietly among the shelves of denial, insecurities, and confusion. No one truly admits they are unhappy. Instead, their bodies say it for them. Whether it be puking up whiskey at 3am; eating a pint of Ben and Jerry’s while lamenting on why your clothes must have shrunk last washing; or the silent languish as you sit alone at dinner as a young couple sits nearby visibly ensnared in something that you have only experienced in a one way crush on some high school crush; it is clear as day. You are deprived of something cohesive and encompassing that completes you as a human being…and this fragmented person in the mirror has become too tiring to stare at anymore. I wait patiently for Washington to prick up and take notice. After all, as a tax paying fragmented human being, don’t I deserve some sort of fund or relief? I have spent a ton of cash on alcohol, cigarettes, music, drugs, food, movies and books to appease my beast of an empty soul. Don’t I deserve some sort of compensation? As a citizen of the corporation of the United States of America, don’t I deserve some sort of reciprocation of the fact I am missing some part of myself? Isn’t that in the Bill of Rights? Article 2: I have the right to be recompensed on the basis that I am not utilizing my full functions as a human being. Instead, I have become piecemeal to the corporate structure, sacrificing my time on the further capitulation of someone’s profit margin. I have sank the first third of my life into an abyss of unrealized goals, wants and dreams, and replaced them with temporary comforts that have only further destroyed and denigrated those dreams and goals. I have become my own worst enemy, sucking down hypocrisy along with any other type of relief to sate the beast. All by choice. All as I consciously dissociated myself to my actions, soaking in denial, all-the-while never stopping to suck the gravy that made the taste better, but ruined the meal. Sunk in our internal miseries, we wash it down with typical aplomb at the local wateringhole. We tend to keep people around us that support our habits, rather than people who have the balls ands brevity to say: “What the fuck are you doing?!?!†Those people are thrown on the wayside as we sink into our misery. Our misery likes complacent company, not people who actually give a shit. That we actually share with them anything in common besides unhappiness or self-loath is insignificant. That they won’t be there when you actually need someone is probably par for the course, and it wouldn’t be their fault. You knew they wouldn’t when you met them, that’s why you liked them in the first place. “Giving a shit†wasn’t on the menu, and if it was, you knew you were at the wrong restaurant. It sucks, knowing that all fault lies with you. It’s the perfect excuse to ignore this epiphany, and simply to fall back into the parade of quietly dying. But, it never does go away, does it? It rustles in your head step after step, making you feel even worse. Who expected that you were the person actually halting your hopes and dreams. That, you were, the very culprit, and upon this very fact, it makes you want to even run even faster away from yourself. It certainly didn’t come with the manual to life. In the TROUBLESHOOTING section, I don’t remember it saying…watch out that you don’t fuck everything up for yourself, because it is a frequent and easy thing to do. We tend to see what we want to see. Our perceptions truly fall victim to what we choose to perceive. We sit in our perfect little boxes, and think that is the perfect viewpoint to see if all is well with the world. Knowledge coursing through our blood, and from our fingertips spout truth, we sit and judge in ignorant blissful majesty. I am quietly dying, and I have nobody to blame but myself.  | ||||
| MaynardGKrebs | posted on 08-08-2001 @ 2:22 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Jan. 01 | Thank you Gooch. I was quietly thinking to myself the past few weeks that I am happy with the way this board is evolving. We have a good balance of gruffness with an hint of sensitivity. We are having more and more members of this board show their true colors and share some really personal emotions. I have let it fly on here since I became a member, and I only saw a few others that did this. Why? Probably because of the responses that were given. Fag, Ass-F, "That doesnt belong on the board" to name just a few. But as the mods have made this board a little more friendly for new faces, the personality as a community changed as well. I'm happy for this because some of the people on here have given me some great advice from things I've posted. I'm also glad to see that the people showing their softer side have been vets. That shows me that you people don't want to be the callous individuals that once existed on this board. There are some of you that remain to be the same which is good. You are being yourselves. I'm just glad everyone else is no longer afraid to show themselves to everyone. I consider many of you to be some of my best friends. And I'm glad that there is this kind of communication between everyone. Gooch, this has said so many things that I have written in the past, all in one neatly formed package. Excellent writing. You encompassed what me and I'm sure many of the other people around here think. Thank You.  | ||||
| o&aswallow | posted on 08-08-2001 @ 2:22 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Jan. 01 | As long as you continue to keep dying quietly, it's all cool. I hate it when dying people moan and groan. It's so f'n depressing :-) o&aswallow Recognized His Destiny Early. Too Many Hotties, Not Enough Horny Goat Weed Now accepting foster children applications. Cash only, no checks. Email at onaswallow@opieanthony.com Frat Guy has rented one of the foster bedrooms as of 7/21. Yes ladies, another college boy is in town for you to ravage. It at first you don't succeed, keep on sucking till you do suck seed. - Curly Howard. Pennsylvania resident, but original NYC listener. This message was edited by o&aswallow on 8-8-01 @ 2:47 PM | ||||
USA Autoban Head Slap... Swim Move... | posted on 08-08-2001 @ 2:24 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Oct. 00 | Well said, dark, but well said. | ||||
| Grumpy SAGILLID The Midget Message Board Mauler rides his trusty mount Wilbur once again!! Internet Idiots beware!! | posted on 08-08-2001 @ 2:28 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Dec. 00 | ya lost me after "Hope you don't mind this little essay..." ;) Gooch - you need to get out more buddy. Sunlight and fresh air might do you some good.  Into each person's life a little pain must fall. I'm just here to administer it. | ||||
| heyladiladi STONER ON THE SNUKA CBH ROTISSERIE | posted on 08-08-2001 @ 2:34 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: May. 01 | Bravo! I feel oddly sad & uplifted at the same time. We all think we are alone in our pain. Quotes about Death 
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| AFDude | posted on 08-08-2001 @ 2:36 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | It takes a lot of guts to post what he did. That's pretty much the ultimate in "putting yourself out there..." It also shows he's secure enough to post that without caring much if others don't like it...which you really can't say for about 90% of this board. I respect you for that Gooch... codebase="http://active.macromedia.com/flash2/cabs/swflash.cab#version=4,0,0,0" ID=AFDude WIDTH=250 HEIGHT=170> NAME=bgcolor VALUE=#0066CC> quality=high scale=exactfit bgcolor=#0066CC WIDTH=250 HEIGHT=170 TYPE="application/x-shockwave-flash" PLUGINSPAGE="http://www.macromedia.com/shockwave/download/index.cgi?P1_Prod_Version=ShockwaveFlash"> First ever grad from the Newbie Academy: Lord Duvious....now able to fly solo. Currently training Thrillhouse..one slot still open. If you want to be adopted, | ||||
| TheGooch Mullet Master Yo Gooch, Moron here... how's that for some fucked up shit... Fez is giving you status... Karma sucks, huh? | posted on 08-08-2001 @ 2:41 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | quote: No prob, Frumps. I was doing your Mom as I wrote it. =) quote: ...but the essay sucked. Thought that was coming next. Ha ha. =) I had considered posting it anonymously, but what's the fuckin point? It's not like "The Gooch" is on my license or on my birth certificate, anyway. As to it being dark (Buttmunch's thought), well, it really is my frustrated lament trying to dive into the heart of the matter. But, all comments are valid. However, that aside, FU BUTTMUNCH, b/c it hasn't been said in a while. LOLFUBUTTMUNCHROFL | ||||
| WoRMFACE | posted on 08-08-2001 @ 2:43 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | I totally hear what gooch is sayin.. and im only 19.. oh what will i be when im 30..  | ||||
| AFDude | posted on 08-08-2001 @ 2:49 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | Alright...the essay sucked! j/k :)I wouldn't want to take away from the intent of the post...quote: and...just because...FU Buttmunch! Hell I'm only 23 and I wonder the same thing codebase="http://active.macromedia.com/flash2/cabs/swflash.cab#version=4,0,0,0" ID=AFDude WIDTH=250 HEIGHT=170> NAME=bgcolor VALUE=#0066CC> quality=high scale=exactfit bgcolor=#0066CC WIDTH=250 HEIGHT=170 TYPE="application/x-shockwave-flash" PLUGINSPAGE="http://www.macromedia.com/shockwave/download/index.cgi?P1_Prod_Version=ShockwaveFlash"> First ever grad from the Newbie Academy: Lord Duvious....now able to fly solo. Currently training Thrillhouse..one slot still open. If you want to be adopted, This message was edited by AFDude on 8-8-01 @ 2:56 PM | ||||
USA Autoban Head Slap... Swim Move... | posted on 08-08-2001 @ 2:51 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Oct. 00 | Well, Gooch, it's better than what I was really thinking, which was: "I hope someone is making sure TheGooch doesn't have any sharp objects, sleeping pills and or a gun nearby" | ||||
| MaynardGKrebs | posted on 08-08-2001 @ 2:55 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Jan. 01 | A pic of Gooch in another 30 years.  | ||||
| skitchr4u G.O.O.F.B.A.H.G.S. Xtreme Skiing Assualt Force | posted on 08-08-2001 @ 2:58 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Dec. 00 | well said gooch. it is sad to watch people go through the motions day after day not attempting to change the wrongs that they see staring them in the face for fear that they will be rocking the boat, and showing that they care. AIM: SkiT4you First Member of the JWO Kindest regards to Grumpy for the sigpic | ||||
| Drunken GW I Pissed on a Church to get this Status. | posted on 08-08-2001 @ 2:58 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Dec. 00 | I guess shit like this does through others minds and not just my own. It is so true that in order to be something in life, only you can make it happen. Sure some folks are born with a silver spoon in thier mouth but that's not many of us. Most of us have to strive for one goal at a time in order to reach the pinnacle of our lives. Working our asses off in order to reach new heights, a lot of the time failing in our efforts. Then in a lot of those failures giving up and not trying harder the next time. Just walking away. Well said Gooch and much applause for being so open.  | ||||
| Rookie Stature of an Oompa Loompa! | posted on 08-08-2001 @ 3:00 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Jan. 01 | DILLON!! j/k Gooch, nice job on the essay.  Back from the dead... | ||||
| TheGooch Mullet Master Yo Gooch, Moron here... how's that for some fucked up shit... Fez is giving you status... Karma sucks, huh? | posted on 08-08-2001 @ 3:07 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | Goddamn it...how did I suddenly get in the barrel????? Freakin essay!!!! =) | ||||
| WoRMFACE | posted on 08-08-2001 @ 3:20 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | Gooch pours his heart out.. = In the barrel.. Gonzo talks about the perks of incest.. = praise.. ponderous effin ponderous.. | ||||
| spitfire421 | posted on 08-08-2001 @ 3:33 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Dec. 00 | ...and that is why I keep coming back here That was great Gooch :) I wonder whether our generation will be able to overcome the cynicism and pessimism that festers within all of us. Will we be able to take back everything from the corporations and the government that has ruined this country and this planet? Can we even make a difference? We all grew up too fast knowing our world is totally fucked. Unfortunately, we all think it's hopeless...  The gods told me to relax They said I'm gonna be fixed up right I'm never gonna work another day in my life I'm way too busy powertripping But I'm gonna shed you some light I have adopted graffixrulz into the School of Altered Reality[Email]spitfire@opieanthony.com">E-Mail Me | ||||
| Tequila Fez claims this land in the name of Portugal! Why worry about the train if it never makes it around the tracks?? IrishAlkey wuz here!!! | posted on 08-08-2001 @ 3:41 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Jan. 01 | quote: You can say that again. Where the Fuck have you been? Oh Gooch where did you find that essay?  AOL/AIM - oanda1027fm | ||||
| Rookie Stature of an Oompa Loompa! | posted on 08-08-2001 @ 4:05 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Jan. 01 | quote: Vigorously banging the chick in your sig... I needed a break. :) Back from the dead... | ||||
| TheGooch Mullet Master Yo Gooch, Moron here... how's that for some fucked up shit... Fez is giving you status... Karma sucks, huh? | posted on 08-08-2001 @ 4:08 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | You've all been doin Frump's Mom too?!?!??! TEQUILA: It's mine, you TOOL. Someone should send you back over the border. =) | ||||
| Doc Smith I Love Anthony Zinni | posted on 08-08-2001 @ 4:43 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Sep. 00 | This reminds me of a passage from Hamlet Hamlet (note: not a little pig) is in the graveyard talking to the gravedigger who is digging Oephilia's grave. Hamlet asks the ditchdigger when he began his work. The ditchdigger replies, "The very day young Hamlet was born". Once you are born, you begin to die. Something that sums this up pretty well is a poem of Edgar Allan Poe Conquerer Worm Lo! 'tis a gala night Within the lonesome latter years! An angel throng, bewinged, bedight In veils, and drowned in tears, Sit in a theatre, to see A play of hopes and fears, While the orchestra breathes fitfully The music of the spheres. Mimes, in the form of God on high, Mutter and mumble low, And hither and thither fly- Mere puppets they, who come and go At bidding of vast formless things That shift the scenery to and fro, Flapping from out their Condor wings Invisible Woe! That motley drama- oh, be sure It shall not be forgot! With its Phantom chased for evermore, By a crowd that seize it not, Through a circle that ever returneth in To the self-same spot, And much of Madness, and more of Sin, And Horror the soul of the plot. But see, amid the mimic rout A crawling shape intrude! A blood-red thing that writhes from out The scenic solitude! It writhes!- it writhes!- with mortal pangs The mimes become its food, And seraphs sob at vermin fangs In human gore imbued. Out- out are the lights- out all! And, over each quivering form, The curtain, a funeral pall, Comes down with the rush of a storm, While the angels, all pallid and wan, Uprising, unveiling, affirm That the play is the tragedy, "Man," And its hero the Conqueror Worm. -- THE END -- In the end, we are only food for worms, it's what we do with our lives that makes them mean something.  We're all here Because we're not all there tonight | ||||
| Tequila Fez claims this land in the name of Portugal! Why worry about the train if it never makes it around the tracks?? IrishAlkey wuz here!!! | posted on 08-08-2001 @ 9:24 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Veteran Registered: Jan. 01 | quote: If that happened then you wouldnt be able to get your oranges... who the fuck am I kidding you dont eat oranges;) AOL/AIM - oanda1027fm | ||||
| JJ G.O.O.F.B.A.H.G.S. Soldier of Fortune Spec Ops Division | posted on 08-08-2001 @ 9:46 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Feb. 01 | Nice job on the essay Gooch.  We're all just monkeys!! i have adopted kindredbabe I have 1 slot open for anyone that wants to be adoptedE-Mail Me and i will get to back to u A.S.A.P, or AIM ople696 | ||||
| TheGooch Mullet Master Yo Gooch, Moron here... how's that for some fucked up shit... Fez is giving you status... Karma sucks, huh? | posted on 08-20-2001 @ 9:50 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | yeah...keepin it alive for one more go around, then into the bowels of the deep it goes...right to Davy Jones' Locker. | ||||
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