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The Unofficial Opie & Anthony Message Board - Story found on Alkey's computer


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Posted ByDiscussion Topic: Story found on Alkey's computer
Tequila
Fez claims this land in the name of Portugal!
Why worry about the train if it never makes it around the tracks?? IrishAlkey wuz here!!!
posted on 07-05-2002 @ 2:00 PM      
O&A Board Veteran
Registered: Jan. 01
This story was found on Alkey's pc in a folder called "Diary" You can think what you want

quote:

Today is a normal summer day not unlike many others. It is a hot,
sunny day in mid-June, with the temperature being in the mid 90's.
Since it is my day off and I have nothing to do, I decide to go to
the lake near my house to sunbathe and take a dip. So I grab my raft
and some suntan oil and head off to the lake.
I arrive a few minutes later, and as usual the lake is quiet. The
lake is behind a subdivision near my home, but not many people even
know it exists -- except for a few people who try to fish in it from
time to time or come for an occasional swim. I undress at the edge of
the lake and smooth on some oil -- not for the protection so much as
the fact that I enjoy the feel of the oil on my skin -- and then I
get on the raft and slowly paddle out about midway in the lake. I
lay on the raft absorbing the soothing rays of the early afternoon
sun, the warmth beating down on my body. It is so quiet that I feel
I could almost go to sleep.

Just as I rolled over onto my back to tan the front of my body, a boy
appears at the edge of the lake carrying a rod and tackle box. I
normally can hear anyone who approaches the lake and have time to
slip into the water if needed or slip to the shore and get some
clothes, but I guess I had drifted off for a minute and hadn't heard
the boy approaching. He didn't say a word to me, but only reached in
his tackle box, withdrew a lure to attach to the end of his rod, and
quietly began fishing in the lake. I pretended at first that I had
not seen him, because I really didn't want to act embarrassed and get
dressed to leave, and I was curious to see what he would do.

A while later I turned back over on my stomach, and then I looked his
way and acknowledged that I saw him. He spoke, acting as if
absolutely nothing were unusual about my nudity. We talked for a
couple of minutes, and then he returned to his fishing. I watched
him some distance away. He appeared to be 18-20 years old, about
5'10" and 160 pounds. He was lean -- but relatively muscular, with
light brown hair. He knew what to wear -- the tee-shirt and jeans
that he was wearing fit close enough to inspire imagination, but not
tight enough to be tacky.

A few minutes passed, and the boy had no luck fishing. He lay down
his pole and walked away from the edge of the lake. He removed his
sweat-soaked shirt to reveal a tanned, well- developed chest, almost
devoid of hair. He sat down and removed his shoes and sat on the
bank for a few moments. Then he stood, unbuttoned his pants and
removed them, placing them carefully on the bank. His body was
beautiful. He had a well-defined butt that looked as good out of the
jeans as it had in them. His thick cock hung limp, and it was quite
clear the he was equipped to handle any situation. He walked into the
edge of the water and then swam out into the lake. After swimming for
a few minutes alone, he swam towards me and began talking again --
still showing no sign of interest in me, just acting as if nudity and
skinny-dipping were the absolute normal thing to do there (which
there are at times).

About a minute or two passed, and he reached for me and began to
caress my buttocks gently. He then probed my body with his hands,
touching every inch of it with his compassionate caress. He reached
for my no rock-hard cock and caressed it, gently at first, then with
increasing intensity. I slid off into the water and gave him the
raft, and then did the same to him. As we caressed on the lake and
exchanged blow jobs, I thought of how this was the most fabulous
sexual experience short of intercourse in my entire life.

As we dressed and parted, he said not a word to me. I know almost
nothing about him, except that he was visiting for the summer and was
not from my area. I have never seen him again, and I don't even know
his full name, but it was a day that I will NEVER forget. Even
today, I wait for another sunny midsummer day that I can go to the
lake and dream...or maybe more...




LET’S GO YANKEES!!!!!
Two trailer park girls go round the outside; round the outside, round the outside Two trailer park girls go round the outside; round the outside, round the outside - Guess who's back, Back again Shady's back Tell a friend Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back - I've created a monster, cause nobody wants to see Marshall no more They want Shady, I'm chopped liver (huh?) Well if you want Shady, this is what I'll give ya A little bit of weed mixed with some hard liquor Some vodka that'll jump start my heart quicker than a shock when I get shocked at the hospital by the doctor when I'm not co-operating When I'm rocking the table while he's operating (hey!!) You waited this long, now stop debating Cause I'm back, I'm on the rag and ovulating I know that you got a job Ms. Cheney but your husband's heart problem's complicating So the FCC won't let me be or let me be me, so let me see They try to shut me down on MTV But it feels so empty, without me So, come on and dip, bum on your lips Fuck that, cum on your lips, and some on your tits And get ready, cause this shit's about to get heavy I just settled all my lawsuits, FUCK YOU DEBBIE! - Now this looks like a job for me So everybody, just follow me Cause we need a little, controversy Cause it feels so empty, without me I said this looks like a job for me So everybody, just follow me Cause we need a little, controversy Cause it feels so empty, without me Little Hellions, kids feeling rebellious Embarrassed their parents still listen to Elvis They start feeling like prisoners helpless 'til someone comes along on a mission and yells BITCH!!! A visionary, vision of scary Could start a revolution, polluting the airwaves A rebel, so just let me revel and bask in the fact that I got everyone kissing my ass. And it's a disaster, such a catastrophe for you to see so damn much of my ass; you asked for me? Well I'm back, na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na Fix your bent antenna tune it in and then I'm gonna enter in, ending up under your skin like a splinter The center of attention, back for the winter I'm interesting, the best thing since wrestling Infesting in your kid's ears and nesting Testing, attention please Feel the tension, soon as someone mentions me Here's my ten cents, my two cents is free A nuisance, who sent? You sent for me? A-tisket a-tasket, I go tit for tat with anybody who's talking this shit that shit Chris Kirkpatrick, you can get your ass kicked worse than them little Limp Bizkit bastards And Moby? You can get stomped by Obie You thirty-six year old baldheaded fag, blow me You don't know me, you're too old, let go It's over, nobody listen to techno Now let's go, just game the signal I'll be there with a whole list full of new insults I been dope, suspenseful with a pencil ever since Prince turned himself into a symbol But sometimes the shit just seems everybody only wants to discuss me So this must mean I'm disgusting But it's just me, I'm just obscene No I'm not the first king of controversy I am the worst thing since Elvis Presley to do black music so selfishly and used it to get myself wealthy (Hey!!) There's a concept that works Twenty million other white rappers emerge But no matter how many fish in the sea It'll be so empty, without me Chem-hie-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

E-Mail Me
Bitch about my posts Click me!!!11



This message was edited by Tequila on 7-5-02 @ 2:01 PM
WNEWs GIRL
i don't have a mule but i have a cock
Intercontinental Intergender Thumb Wrestling Champion
CUNT ROCKETTE
The new "third". AmyMohrBuddy

One line in my sig is absolutely fucking disgusting, see if you can find it.
posted on 07-05-2002 @ 2:03 PM      
O&A Board Veteran
Registered: Aug. 00
damn alkey gets all the luck, share the wealth man!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE MEMORY OF GONZO STYLE WILL BE IN OUR HEARTS FOREVER
I Have A Special Place In My Cunt For Av8er


I LOVE THE SLASH & THE CRACK HITLER & THE REE
FROSTY IS MY HERO, AUSTIN'S MY BABY'S DADDY, I'M MRS. HYBRID
My Bitches: THE HEAD BITCH Tequila & the HNIC The Brain followed by AntsInMyPants, Av8er In His Own Room , IrishAlkey, Slackjaw, BROTHER JOE, Skitchr4u aka Skitch, HyBriD in the Monkey Cage, darthziggy, Critics Loves Snatch, fbdlingfrg is Stalking in the Bushes, Austin, Hummercash, JJ, DANKED, Drunken GW, SLASH, Flock of Moosen, FollowThisLogic, FNMoron, JoeyBigArms, Faceman, Brokenjaw, LANTERN MAN FROM BAR 9, pantee man, Cancer Mike(Michelle), Mangino, HardCoreDave (TvvisTofFaTe), QuickStop, scmods, mikehern, I swear it was this big aka Tussle King

The Brain
He's good at teh rhyming questions
posted on 07-05-2002 @ 2:26 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Feb. 01
quote:

This story was found on Alkey's pc in a folder called "Diary" You can think what you want

quote:

IrishAlkey wuz here!!!

Right. This was on "Alkey's PC". Yup. Sure it was. Uh huh. Yeah.

Please keep your gay correspondence with Alkey off the Board. We have a bad enough time when AIMP does it, we don't need you adding to the chaos.


Are you pondering what I'm pondering?


"ARE YOU PONDERING WHAT I'M PONDERING?"

I think so, Brain...

I'll conquer the world long before Kingpin ever finds "Pinky"
Now, I must return to the Lab to prepare for tomorrow night...
goatweed
I've Got A Vagina With Teeth.
G.O.O.F.B.A.H.G.S.
Dragoon Battalion
My friends call me Weed
posted on 07-05-2002 @ 2:32 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Jan. 01
so did he ever catch a fish?


Nothing to see here, just some scrolling text...


You can reach me through AIM or email. I really don't give a fuck as to which one you use.

This space available for rent.


Tequila
Fez claims this land in the name of Portugal!
Why worry about the train if it never makes it around the tracks?? IrishAlkey wuz here!!!
posted on 07-05-2002 @ 2:47 PM      
O&A Board Veteran
Registered: Jan. 01
quote:

Right. This was on "Alkey's PC". Yup. Sure it was. Uh huh. Yeah.

Please keep your gay correspondence with Alkey off the Board. We have a bad enough time when AIMP does it, we don't need you adding to the chaos.

That story is titled "How I met AIMP".



LET’S GO YANKEES!!!!!
Two trailer park girls go round the outside; round the outside, round the outside Two trailer park girls go round the outside; round the outside, round the outside - Guess who's back, Back again Shady's back Tell a friend Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back - I've created a monster, cause nobody wants to see Marshall no more They want Shady, I'm chopped liver (huh?) Well if you want Shady, this is what I'll give ya A little bit of weed mixed with some hard liquor Some vodka that'll jump start my heart quicker than a shock when I get shocked at the hospital by the doctor when I'm not co-operating When I'm rocking the table while he's operating (hey!!) You waited this long, now stop debating Cause I'm back, I'm on the rag and ovulating I know that you got a job Ms. Cheney but your husband's heart problem's complicating So the FCC won't let me be or let me be me, so let me see They try to shut me down on MTV But it feels so empty, without me So, come on and dip, bum on your lips Fuck that, cum on your lips, and some on your tits And get ready, cause this shit's about to get heavy I just settled all my lawsuits, FUCK YOU DEBBIE! - Now this looks like a job for me So everybody, just follow me Cause we need a little, controversy Cause it feels so empty, without me I said this looks like a job for me So everybody, just follow me Cause we need a little, controversy Cause it feels so empty, without me Little Hellions, kids feeling rebellious Embarrassed their parents still listen to Elvis They start feeling like prisoners helpless 'til someone comes along on a mission and yells BITCH!!! A visionary, vision of scary Could start a revolution, polluting the airwaves A rebel, so just let me revel and bask in the fact that I got everyone kissing my ass. And it's a disaster, such a catastrophe for you to see so damn much of my ass; you asked for me? Well I'm back, na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na Fix your bent antenna tune it in and then I'm gonna enter in, ending up under your skin like a splinter The center of attention, back for the winter I'm interesting, the best thing since wrestling Infesting in your kid's ears and nesting Testing, attention please Feel the tension, soon as someone mentions me Here's my ten cents, my two cents is free A nuisance, who sent? You sent for me? A-tisket a-tasket, I go tit for tat with anybody who's talking this shit that shit Chris Kirkpatrick, you can get your ass kicked worse than them little Limp Bizkit bastards And Moby? You can get stomped by Obie You thirty-six year old baldheaded fag, blow me You don't know me, you're too old, let go It's over, nobody listen to techno Now let's go, just game the signal I'll be there with a whole list full of new insults I been dope, suspenseful with a pencil ever since Prince turned himself into a symbol But sometimes the shit just seems everybody only wants to discuss me So this must mean I'm disgusting But it's just me, I'm just obscene No I'm not the first king of controversy I am the worst thing since Elvis Presley to do black music so selfishly and used it to get myself wealthy (Hey!!) There's a concept that works Twenty million other white rappers emerge But no matter how many fish in the sea It'll be so empty, without me Chem-hie-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

E-Mail Me
Bitch about my posts Click me!!!11

Tenbatsuzen
I deserve a status because I'm an interesting and funny guy.
posted on 07-05-2002 @ 3:26 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Jan. 01
quote:

so did he ever catch a fish?


Heard he snagged some dominican tuna. Quite a delicacy.



Turk408
posted on 07-05-2002 @ 3:41 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Feb. 01
quote:

so did he ever catch a fish?

Yup, a large mouth for his rod.

Let me light your fire
I love the kindredbabe, the MamaCaz, the SyKoPaThCHiK, and especially the RF and my little walking Disaster Area!!!!
IrishAlkey
Chucky
Official OA.com Homo
Nothing makes me harder than the thought of my lips wrapped around a pulsating cock, awaiting that one second when it will explode with semen, flooding my throat and nostrils until I choke. Jokes on you... This won't be here much longer... BTW: me and Ants have had sex multiple times and I ALWAYS catch.
PORTUGAL CUNT ROCKETTE
Look who's laughing now, fuckers!!!

Is It In Yet? JYD-4-LIFE
[Sarcasm]Subzero316 fan since day one!!1!![/Sarcasm]
"my mod powers are on temporary hiatus"
This status is sponsored by:
P®oJë©T M@¥hέm
posted on 07-05-2002 @ 9:27 PM      
O&A Board Veteran
Registered: Aug. 01
PrOjEcT MaYhEm

...does not support this thread, nor does it support oxygen passing through Tequila's nostrils and into his lungs.






PrOjEcT MaYhEmHIS NAME IS IRISHALKEY
JYD 4 LIFE...shut 'em down, open up shop!
IrishAlkey
VG drives my puppy bus!

katylina
KIDNAPPER
Spill 'em if you got 'em
JBA Thinks I Am A Goddess!
posted on 07-05-2002 @ 11:11 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Feb. 02
Funny because this story was found on mine: Visit this Website

such a whore!



Katylina's Webpage
TheJays
This status sponsored by: P®oJë©T M@¥h?m:
I MAKE COOL PICTURES
Proud To Be An American
posted on 07-05-2002 @ 11:19 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Jan. 01
quote:

This story was found on Alkey's pc in a folder called "Diary" You can think what you want



This is the biggest scandal to hit PrOjEcT MaYhEm ever since...well...ever since it was announced that IrishAlkey and Hybrid were starting PrOjEcT MaYhEm.

it to f-ing hot




"I haven't felt that good since Artie Gammell scored against Holland in 1978." "When a person is insane, as you clearly are, do you know that you're insane? Maybe you're just sitting around, reading "Guns and Ammo", masturbating in your own feces, do you just stop and go, "Wow! It is amazing how fucking crazy I really am!" "Bitch, what you don't know about me I can just about squeeze in the Grand fucking Canyon. Did you know I always wanted to be a dancer in Vegas?" "Bazooko's Circus is what the world would be doing every Saturday night if the Nazis had won the war.
Rev. Impactplayer
posted on 07-09-2002 @ 10:12 AM      
Hanger-On
Registered: Jun. 02
say it aint so, alkey! say it aint so.


The fear I see when I look in your eyes, makes you believe i'm ONE OF A KIND!!!
ANALJIM
COMPLETELY FUCKING RETARDED.
My girlfriend is a figment of my imagination.
posted on 07-09-2002 @ 10:40 AM      
Psychopath
Registered: Jun. 02
I heard he caught a large mouthed bitch.

happy anal jim
silera
Sexiest flower in the garden
Garden my ass! That's a bush!

I Like to suck dick
I suck it all day long
I like to suck dick
Nothing like a great big wong.
I like to suck dick
I'll do it till the day I croak
Just don't ask me to swallow.
Cause I'll probably choke
fag-hag
Subzero316 makes me hot!
JYD-4-LIFE's HBIC now i suck a mod's dick too!
posted on 07-09-2002 @ 10:47 AM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Feb. 02
quote:

I heard he caught a large mouthed bitch.



Is that supposed to be funny?



PrOjEcT mAyHeM!!!
Now, a question of etiquette, as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch?
I'm as real as cancer.
I want to fuck.

JYD 4LIFE!!!1 Where my dawgz at??
ANALJIM
COMPLETELY FUCKING RETARDED.
My girlfriend is a figment of my imagination.
posted on 07-09-2002 @ 2:38 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Jun. 02
did i say bitch i meant to say bass.must have been thinking about my boss.

happy anal jim
Tequila
Fez claims this land in the name of Portugal!
Why worry about the train if it never makes it around the tracks?? IrishAlkey wuz here!!!
posted on 07-09-2002 @ 5:33 PM      
O&A Board Veteran
Registered: Jan. 01
quote:

did i say bitch i meant to say bass.must have been thinking about my boss.

You my friend are an asshole (where is that geogre petterson pic when you need it?)


LET’S GO YANKEES!!!!!
Two trailer park girls go round the outside; round the outside, round the outside Two trailer park girls go round the outside; round the outside, round the outside - Guess who's back, Back again Shady's back Tell a friend Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back - I've created a monster, cause nobody wants to see Marshall no more They want Shady, I'm chopped liver (huh?) Well if you want Shady, this is what I'll give ya A little bit of weed mixed with some hard liquor Some vodka that'll jump start my heart quicker than a shock when I get shocked at the hospital by the doctor when I'm not co-operating When I'm rocking the table while he's operating (hey!!) You waited this long, now stop debating Cause I'm back, I'm on the rag and ovulating I know that you got a job Ms. Cheney but your husband's heart problem's complicating So the FCC won't let me be or let me be me, so let me see They try to shut me down on MTV But it feels so empty, without me So, come on and dip, bum on your lips Fuck that, cum on your lips, and some on your tits And get ready, cause this shit's about to get heavy I just settled all my lawsuits, FUCK YOU DEBBIE! - Now this looks like a job for me So everybody, just follow me Cause we need a little, controversy Cause it feels so empty, without me I said this looks like a job for me So everybody, just follow me Cause we need a little, controversy Cause it feels so empty, without me Little Hellions, kids feeling rebellious Embarrassed their parents still listen to Elvis They start feeling like prisoners helpless 'til someone comes along on a mission and yells BITCH!!! A visionary, vision of scary Could start a revolution, polluting the airwaves A rebel, so just let me revel and bask in the fact that I got everyone kissing my ass. And it's a disaster, such a catastrophe for you to see so damn much of my ass; you asked for me? Well I'm back, na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na Fix your bent antenna tune it in and then I'm gonna enter in, ending up under your skin like a splinter The center of attention, back for the winter I'm interesting, the best thing since wrestling Infesting in your kid's ears and nesting Testing, attention please Feel the tension, soon as someone mentions me Here's my ten cents, my two cents is free A nuisance, who sent? You sent for me? A-tisket a-tasket, I go tit for tat with anybody who's talking this shit that shit Chris Kirkpatrick, you can get your ass kicked worse than them little Limp Bizkit bastards And Moby? You can get stomped by Obie You thirty-six year old baldheaded fag, blow me You don't know me, you're too old, let go It's over, nobody listen to techno Now let's go, just game the signal I'll be there with a whole list full of new insults I been dope, suspenseful with a pencil ever since Prince turned himself into a symbol But sometimes the shit just seems everybody only wants to discuss me So this must mean I'm disgusting But it's just me, I'm just obscene No I'm not the first king of controversy I am the worst thing since Elvis Presley to do black music so selfishly and used it to get myself wealthy (Hey!!) There's a concept that works Twenty million other white rappers emerge But no matter how many fish in the sea It'll be so empty, without me Chem-hie-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

E-Mail Me
Bitch about my posts Click me!!!11

ANALJIM
COMPLETELY FUCKING RETARDED.
My girlfriend is a figment of my imagination.
posted on 07-10-2002 @ 8:26 AM      
Psychopath
Registered: Jun. 02
you my friend are a spic which is the equivilent of having gum stuck to your shoe.

happy anal jim
Tequila
Fez claims this land in the name of Portugal!
Why worry about the train if it never makes it around the tracks?? IrishAlkey wuz here!!!
posted on 07-10-2002 @ 4:52 PM      
O&A Board Veteran
Registered: Jan. 01
quote:

you my friend are a spic which is the equivilent of having gum stuck to your shoe.


You still have no fucking clue do you.

You jump on a bandwagon in which you know nothing about and try to make jokes about. Your status says it all.


LET’S GO YANKEES!!!!!
Two trailer park girls go round the outside; round the outside, round the outside Two trailer park girls go round the outside; round the outside, round the outside - Guess who's back, Back again Shady's back Tell a friend Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back - I've created a monster, cause nobody wants to see Marshall no more They want Shady, I'm chopped liver (huh?) Well if you want Shady, this is what I'll give ya A little bit of weed mixed with some hard liquor Some vodka that'll jump start my heart quicker than a shock when I get shocked at the hospital by the doctor when I'm not co-operating When I'm rocking the table while he's operating (hey!!) You waited this long, now stop debating Cause I'm back, I'm on the rag and ovulating I know that you got a job Ms. Cheney but your husband's heart problem's complicating So the FCC won't let me be or let me be me, so let me see They try to shut me down on MTV But it feels so empty, without me So, come on and dip, bum on your lips Fuck that, cum on your lips, and some on your tits And get ready, cause this shit's about to get heavy I just settled all my lawsuits, FUCK YOU DEBBIE! - Now this looks like a job for me So everybody, just follow me Cause we need a little, controversy Cause it feels so empty, without me I said this looks like a job for me So everybody, just follow me Cause we need a little, controversy Cause it feels so empty, without me Little Hellions, kids feeling rebellious Embarrassed their parents still listen to Elvis They start feeling like prisoners helpless 'til someone comes along on a mission and yells BITCH!!! A visionary, vision of scary Could start a revolution, polluting the airwaves A rebel, so just let me revel and bask in the fact that I got everyone kissing my ass. And it's a disaster, such a catastrophe for you to see so damn much of my ass; you asked for me? Well I'm back, na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na Fix your bent antenna tune it in and then I'm gonna enter in, ending up under your skin like a splinter The center of attention, back for the winter I'm interesting, the best thing since wrestling Infesting in your kid's ears and nesting Testing, attention please Feel the tension, soon as someone mentions me Here's my ten cents, my two cents is free A nuisance, who sent? You sent for me? A-tisket a-tasket, I go tit for tat with anybody who's talking this shit that shit Chris Kirkpatrick, you can get your ass kicked worse than them little Limp Bizkit bastards And Moby? You can get stomped by Obie You thirty-six year old baldheaded fag, blow me You don't know me, you're too old, let go It's over, nobody listen to techno Now let's go, just game the signal I'll be there with a whole list full of new insults I been dope, suspenseful with a pencil ever since Prince turned himself into a symbol But sometimes the shit just seems everybody only wants to discuss me So this must mean I'm disgusting But it's just me, I'm just obscene No I'm not the first king of controversy I am the worst thing since Elvis Presley to do black music so selfishly and used it to get myself wealthy (Hey!!) There's a concept that works Twenty million other white rappers emerge But no matter how many fish in the sea It'll be so empty, without me Chem-hie-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

E-Mail Me
Bitch about my posts Click me!!!11




Displaying 1-17 of 17 messages in this thread.