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Why do women always change the rules?
#61
I have found the secret to a happy relationship:

- Yes dear
- I'm sorry
- You're right
- I'm wrong

Use these words often, use them in combination. It doesn't matter if you mean it or not. They just want to hear it.
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#62
Quote:Originally posted by tinymike
I have found the secret to a happy relationship:

- Yes dear
- I'm sorry
- You're right
- I'm wrong

Use these words often, use them in combination. It doesn't matter if you mean it or not. They just want to hear it.
Exactly. My ex just didn't understand that. Big Grin
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#63
His lack of understanding set him free.
<center>[Image: alkeysalsa.jpg]</center>
<font color=red><marquee>You ain't no motha'fuckin' bully... and I ain't bowin' to no motha'fuckin' bully... I won't allow it ain't gon' cowar to no bully, I'll be damned if I don't stand up to a bully... fight like a man and throw my hands up to a bully...</font></marquee>
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#64
<b>Why do women call the thing they have every month a "period?"</b>
<i>Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken. </i> :lol:

I'm sorry. It had to be done. Big Grin
<center><IMG SRC="http://members.aol.com/darkmoonchild23/images/the_brain_magnet.jpg" alt="Are you pondering what I'm pondering?" height=250 width=250></center><br />
<br />
<marquee behavior=alternate> <A href="mailto:darkmoonchild23@aol.com"><center><i>"ARE YOU PONDERING WHAT I'M PONDERING?"</i></center></a></marquee><br /><a href="aim:goim?ScreenName=DarkMoonchild23&Message=NARF!!!!!"><center>I think so, Brain...</center></a><br /><i><font color=4e4e4e>I'll conquer the world long before Kingpin ever finds "Pinky"</i></font><br /><font color=white><b><i>Now, I must return to the Lab to prepare for tomorrow night...</b></i></font><font color=4d4d4d size=-5>
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#65
Quote:Originally posted by The Brain
<b>Why do women call the thing they have every month a \"period?\"</b>
<i>Because \"Mad Cow Disease\" was already taken. </i> :lol:

I'm sorry. It had to be done. Big Grin


tsk tsk tsk...you won't get nooky with that attitude.
[Image: fearloathingkewgardens.jpg]
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#66
<b>The judge says, "Please tell me why you're seeking a divorce."
DiNapoli says, "Because I live in a two-story house."
The Judge says, "What kind of a reason is that? What the matter with a two-story house?"
DiNapoli says, "I'll tell you what's the matter. One story is 'I have a headache' and the other story is 'It's that time of the month.'"</b> :rofl:

Quote:tsk tsk tsk...you won't get nooky with that attitude.
Sure I will... I'll just find a gal who doesn;t know any better. Wink

<b>A brunette walks into the doctor's office and says, "My body hurts wherever I touch it."
The doctor says, "Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow, and she screams in agony. Then she pushes her knee and screams. Then she pushes her ankle and screams.
The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you? You're really a blonde."
She says, "Yeah. How did you know?"
He says, "Your finger is broken." </b>
<center><IMG SRC="http://members.aol.com/darkmoonchild23/images/the_brain_magnet.jpg" alt="Are you pondering what I'm pondering?" height=250 width=250></center><br />
<br />
<marquee behavior=alternate> <A href="mailto:darkmoonchild23@aol.com"><center><i>"ARE YOU PONDERING WHAT I'M PONDERING?"</i></center></a></marquee><br /><a href="aim:goim?ScreenName=DarkMoonchild23&Message=NARF!!!!!"><center>I think so, Brain...</center></a><br /><i><font color=4e4e4e>I'll conquer the world long before Kingpin ever finds "Pinky"</i></font><br /><font color=white><b><i>Now, I must return to the Lab to prepare for tomorrow night...</b></i></font><font color=4d4d4d size=-5>
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#67
Quote:Originally posted by IrishAlkey
His lack of understanding set him free.
Something like that. Rolleyes
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#68
<b>Morris comes home and finds his wife Sadie crying.
She says, "I found out from Mrs. Goldberg that you're having an affair with your secretary. Why would you do that to me? I've always been a good wife...I've cooked for you, raised your children, and I've always been by your side for thirty-five years. What haven't I done to make you happy?"
Morris says, "It's true, Sadie, you've been the best wife a man could hope for. You make me happy in all ways but one. You never moan when we have sex."
Sadie says, "If I moaned when we have sex, you'd stop running around? All right, come to the bedroom so I can show you that I can moan during sex."
They go to the bedroom, get undressed, and climb in bed.
As they start kissing, Sadie says, "Now, Morris? Should I moan now?"
He says, "No, not yet."
He starts fondling her, and she says, "What about now? Should I moan now?"
He says, "No, I'll tell you when."
He climbs on top of her and starts banging her.
She says, "Is it time for me to moan now, Morris?"
He says, "Wait, wait...I'll tell you when."
A few minutes later, just seconds before he's going to climax, he says, "Now, Sadie. Moan. Moan..." </b>

<i>She says, "Oy, you wouldn't believe what a day I had..." </i>

:rofl::bouncy::bouncy::rofl::rofl::bouncy::bouncy::rofl:
<center><IMG SRC="http://members.aol.com/darkmoonchild23/images/the_brain_magnet.jpg" alt="Are you pondering what I'm pondering?" height=250 width=250></center><br />
<br />
<marquee behavior=alternate> <A href="mailto:darkmoonchild23@aol.com"><center><i>"ARE YOU PONDERING WHAT I'M PONDERING?"</i></center></a></marquee><br /><a href="aim:goim?ScreenName=DarkMoonchild23&Message=NARF!!!!!"><center>I think so, Brain...</center></a><br /><i><font color=4e4e4e>I'll conquer the world long before Kingpin ever finds "Pinky"</i></font><br /><font color=white><b><i>Now, I must return to the Lab to prepare for tomorrow night...</b></i></font><font color=4d4d4d size=-5>
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#69
Good Lord Shecky....that's the best you've got, old Yiddish/Jewish humor? Cut and paste from a more modern joke service, please
Dammit, I knew I should have made that left turn at Albequerque
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#70
I laughed. Sad It tickled my kike cockles.
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