CDIH

Full Version: on my way home...
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...I was hooking up with my H connection. So I had to go draw some cash at the local ATM. The bank lot where the machine is is typically empty but for some reason it was packed probably because the bar across the street had something going on. So anyway there are no spots and I pull up right next to the machine in the exit driveway to just jump out real quick and be off. This old cunt walks by me, and says some bullshit comment. "That's not a parking space by the way." So I said, "What's that?" She goes, "I was going to get out through there. " Fair enough and valid points but she just had such a cunty tone I was like, "Yeah well I probably would have moved if you would have asked me nice. But now you're gonna wait until I get done my business."

Not even 30 secs later I'm done and on my way to The Man. But right in front of that same parking lot on the side walk there's an old man just sitting there, with a tipped over walker laying next to him. So I'm like fuck, i pulled over, got out to see what the story is. He was handicapped and talked with a slur, I asked him if he fell and needed help and he said of course.

He was huge, each of his legs weighed as much as me, i wasn't getting him up alone. So another older guy but pretty big is walking buy and I ask him for help. We tried to get him up but couldn't, so the guy said just call 911. The old man protested but I called anyway. So I talk to the dispatcher explain the situation, and then get patched through to the fire dept, tell them. All the while this fucko guy is still trying to help the guy get up. So i said, Just leave him, let the ambulance or whatever come so I don;'t look like a jerkoff, he's just gonna walk off if he gets up. Fucker don't listen. He picks him up finally (i thought he was going to break a vessel, his face was so red when he lifted him). And off he goes!

I'm left holding the fucking bag. So i'm like fuck this I just took off having just got a call from the Man asking where i was. So I call 911 back and explain to her that she should just call the people off because someone helped him up and he's off and running. So she say WE DON"T CALL OFF 911 CALLS IF NOONE"S THERE THEY"LL JUST LEAVE!" So I said I was just trying to be nice and hung up.

And they wonder why I put the act together that I got cause they're cocksuckers!
My stomach turns at the profundity of this story! oh......wait............sorry, i was wrong, it was just a fart.
profundity....you use big, purty words
your stories used to funnier when you were sober. You used to say: "so I sez" and such
Wasn't really meant to be funny, more of a release. I jerked off too.
i had to call 911 the other day for the first time. some kid get knocked in the face and was just like laying in the street with one tooth knocked out on the ground next to him
did you knock it out for him?
A junkie boy scout, how quaint.
i've called 911 a bunch of times. the last being when this dumbass tried to slide down the banister at work. he got half way then landed on his head at my feet. i thought he was dead, out cold, eyes open, neck twisted. he got up though and refused treatment. figure he at least had a concussion though.
Goatweed Wrote:did you knock it out for him?
then i put it under my pillow
so how much did the Tooth Fairy give you for it?
its still there
stuff is starting to grow on it

the kids other tooth was knocked back into his mouth, but it was still connected. it was pretty gross
last summer, the guy i was working with had a seizure one day. he was writing a note to our manager saying how he needed some day off next week, and midway through, he just started shaking and fell over. i had no fucking clue what was happening, so i called 911. he ended up getting up about 3/4s the way through the call and talking to them, explaining it and shit. he tried to tell them not to come, but they came and checked him out anyway