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Full Version: 10 things I learned at Coachella
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1. Apparently the newest fashion craze sweeping young(er than me) chicks is to wear huge, square-framed sunglasses that cover 90% of their face. There’s not even any point for them to wear make-up with these things since nobody can see their face anyway (but of course they still do). These are the type of glasses that my grandparents and their morbidly elderly friends wore in the mid 80’s. They were ridiculous then, and they’re even more ridiculous now. My initial reaction was to feel like I was getting old. Then I realized it’s just another manifestation of the rest of the world getting stupider.

2. B-Jörk has the fucking cutest accent I have ever heard. Also, I will eventually download all of her music because, no matter what the situation is, it will always put me right to sleep.

3. Adam Morrison is a lot shorter in person. He passed right in front of my face and I didn’t realize it was him because he looked more like 6’2 than 6’8. He was wearing a Dodgers hat and was more baked than I was. A couple of people confirmed it was indeed him; otherwise I would have just passed it off as a shorter, higher look-alike.

4. Seeing as how the festival was comprised of 60,000 hippies, there was a staggering amount of littering going on. I knew something was out of whack when I was one of the few people that actually used the (plentiful) garbage pails.

5. No beverage, alcoholic or not, is worth paying $7 for 12 oz.

6. Sunblock really works!

7. Taking a 3 minute piss in a porta potty with one hand on your cock and the other trying to hold the door shut, all while hearing sirens circling nearby, is a truly surreal experience.

8. Walking 7 miles in flip flops through dirt and sand in 105° heat is NOT cool.

9. Walking 7 miles in socks and sneakers through dirt and sand in 105° heat is NOT much better.

10. Next time I spend the time, money, and energy to go to one of these things, I’m going to make sure to at least see one band that I like.