02-08-2002, 11:34 PM
That's right, you heard me. By all practical means, Buddha is better than Jesus. If you take Jesus and multiply him by infinity, Buddha is still 10 times cooler.
1st Reason: Buddha is a self-made man. He pulled himself up by the boot straps and found enlightenment by himself. He spent years meditating and pondering about life, death, love, the human condition and figured out all of it by himself. Jesus is the exact opposite. He didn't lift a finger to become what he was. He got all his knowledge and cheesy superpowers dropped in his lap just because daddy controls the universe. His father just handed him all the answers to the test called life, while Buddha had to actually study. Pfft. I hate him more and more by the minute.
As a matter of fact, this all equates to certain comic book characters. And comics are far deeper, more intelligent and exciting than the whole bible put together. Even shit like Spawn v. Batman owns the Bible's ass. But the purpose of this thread isn't to bitch about the bible, it's also here to spread malicious slander against Jesus, who I might add, died because he was weak and stupid.
The point? Oh yeah, in comic terms Buddha equates to Batman. Batman is a regular man who made himself something amazing. He worked hard to become what he was, and has an unwavering need to save people. Jesus, Jesus equates to Superman, everyone's home town hero who only is what he is because he was given superpowers. He's not too bright either. The analogy works well because Batman beat Superman into a bloody smear twice now, as Buddha no doubt does to Jesus in philosophical terms.
2nd Reason: Nobody kills in the name of Buddha. He made sure that when people got his message, they couldn't fuck it up and kill someone for it. You never hear about taoist suicide bombings. Or bombings from atheists in the name of "No God", for that matter.
3rd Reason: Buddhists don't eat defensless animals because Buddha recognizes that they are living things, too, and not just toys put here for us to exploit. Jesus ate dead animals a lot. He was also a communist.
4th Reason: There is no 4th reason. The number 4 sucks, anyway. Sucks big time. Almost as much as Jesus does.
5th Reason: Jesus was a skinny waif. Buddha was like this, but buffed up and became a big fat dynamo. Fat Buddha could snap Jesus in half because of this. So Buddha would win any fight against Jesus, unless He knows kung-fu, then it would be a fair match.
6th Reason: Buddha didn't need a merchandising line to stay in business. Jesus, however, showed all the chastity of a three-dollar-whore to consumer America. He's got so much ridiculous merchandising running around, it makes me want to vomit in a bucket with the jesus fish on the side. HE may say he only does this to make money for charity. Again I say, Jesus, you are a filthy fucking liar, and if your dad wasn't the CEO of heaven, you'd be raped in hell by Ronald Reagan right now. We all know the money just goes into the real estate of the church so you can have some fancy stained glass windows with your mug on it while children starve and die in 3rd world countries. Buddha skips the merchandise. He leads his followers donate their own time to help, unlike Jesus, who couldn't even lead a horse to water.
7th Reason: Buddha doesn't tell people to rely on supernatural voodoo to be happy. Buddha's like a Linux hacker who figured out how the system works and told people how to get it to do what they need. Jesus just has them fall in desperation on a giant invisible man in the sky, which is low, even if there is a giant invisible man in the sky. Jesus is a Windows user who doesn't understand anything that doesn't say "START" or "STOP" in huge lettering on brightly colored buttons.
There, in your face JC. Why don't you just resign as mankind's salvation and let someone who obviously knows what he's doing take charge. But you still choose to rule with your obvious incompetence. You're practically a traitor. Buddhahahahaahahaha!
{Disclaimer: I'm not a Buddhist, or a practicing-Catholic, for that matter. I just saw a funny opportunity here. Any slander against JC was completely intentional. And if you don't like it, you can go back to Canada, you Communist Nazi Jew.}
Edited By Sephiroth on Feb. 08 2002 at 6:36
1st Reason: Buddha is a self-made man. He pulled himself up by the boot straps and found enlightenment by himself. He spent years meditating and pondering about life, death, love, the human condition and figured out all of it by himself. Jesus is the exact opposite. He didn't lift a finger to become what he was. He got all his knowledge and cheesy superpowers dropped in his lap just because daddy controls the universe. His father just handed him all the answers to the test called life, while Buddha had to actually study. Pfft. I hate him more and more by the minute.
As a matter of fact, this all equates to certain comic book characters. And comics are far deeper, more intelligent and exciting than the whole bible put together. Even shit like Spawn v. Batman owns the Bible's ass. But the purpose of this thread isn't to bitch about the bible, it's also here to spread malicious slander against Jesus, who I might add, died because he was weak and stupid.
The point? Oh yeah, in comic terms Buddha equates to Batman. Batman is a regular man who made himself something amazing. He worked hard to become what he was, and has an unwavering need to save people. Jesus, Jesus equates to Superman, everyone's home town hero who only is what he is because he was given superpowers. He's not too bright either. The analogy works well because Batman beat Superman into a bloody smear twice now, as Buddha no doubt does to Jesus in philosophical terms.
2nd Reason: Nobody kills in the name of Buddha. He made sure that when people got his message, they couldn't fuck it up and kill someone for it. You never hear about taoist suicide bombings. Or bombings from atheists in the name of "No God", for that matter.
3rd Reason: Buddhists don't eat defensless animals because Buddha recognizes that they are living things, too, and not just toys put here for us to exploit. Jesus ate dead animals a lot. He was also a communist.
4th Reason: There is no 4th reason. The number 4 sucks, anyway. Sucks big time. Almost as much as Jesus does.
5th Reason: Jesus was a skinny waif. Buddha was like this, but buffed up and became a big fat dynamo. Fat Buddha could snap Jesus in half because of this. So Buddha would win any fight against Jesus, unless He knows kung-fu, then it would be a fair match.
6th Reason: Buddha didn't need a merchandising line to stay in business. Jesus, however, showed all the chastity of a three-dollar-whore to consumer America. He's got so much ridiculous merchandising running around, it makes me want to vomit in a bucket with the jesus fish on the side. HE may say he only does this to make money for charity. Again I say, Jesus, you are a filthy fucking liar, and if your dad wasn't the CEO of heaven, you'd be raped in hell by Ronald Reagan right now. We all know the money just goes into the real estate of the church so you can have some fancy stained glass windows with your mug on it while children starve and die in 3rd world countries. Buddha skips the merchandise. He leads his followers donate their own time to help, unlike Jesus, who couldn't even lead a horse to water.
7th Reason: Buddha doesn't tell people to rely on supernatural voodoo to be happy. Buddha's like a Linux hacker who figured out how the system works and told people how to get it to do what they need. Jesus just has them fall in desperation on a giant invisible man in the sky, which is low, even if there is a giant invisible man in the sky. Jesus is a Windows user who doesn't understand anything that doesn't say "START" or "STOP" in huge lettering on brightly colored buttons.
There, in your face JC. Why don't you just resign as mankind's salvation and let someone who obviously knows what he's doing take charge. But you still choose to rule with your obvious incompetence. You're practically a traitor. Buddhahahahaahahaha!
{Disclaimer: I'm not a Buddhist, or a practicing-Catholic, for that matter. I just saw a funny opportunity here. Any slander against JC was completely intentional. And if you don't like it, you can go back to Canada, you Communist Nazi Jew.}
Edited By Sephiroth on Feb. 08 2002 at 6:36
![[Image: 1013212228076_43_satan.gif]](http://images.andale.com/f2/115/104/6485603/1013212228076_43_satan.gif)
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