CDIH

I have decided to scrap Part II altogether and jump straight to Part III.

The background of Part II is that Cesar also did the exact same thing to ANOTHER guy he went to college with and was in teh same fraternity as he and Lee. Except with that guy; it got very racy very vast. This guy (named Lucas: who thankfully, I've never met) ended up not only admitting that he was bisexual as the girl got hornier and hornier and wanted threesomes, but admitted to partaking in assplay. Upon reading it, you'd think he was joking and just playing along, but he also sent naked pictures to this girl (full body so he could be identified). It was horrific.

The original plan was to get the two of them to show up at the same time (and while that may still happen...a "twist" has been introduced..which shall be revealed at a later date)

And with that...we continue.....

..when we last left off, Sydney had cancelled a date because she had "a cold", accused Lee of accusing her of faking the sickness, accused Lee of accusing her of being a gold-digger just trying to get a nice meal. But, the made up and planned on meeting again later in the week.

----Original Message-----
From: Sydney
Sent: Thursday, December 18, 2003 12:00 PM
To: Lee
Subject: RE: Dinner

Hi Lee, looking forward to tonight. What are you wearing? What should I wear? I’m not sure what is appropriate there.

----Original Message-----
From: Lee
To: Sydney
Subject: RE: Dinner
Date: Thu, 18 Dec 2003 12:56:00 -0600

Hi Sydney,

I will be wearing a long sleeved collared shirt with blue stripes and tan pants. You can wear what ever you feel comfortable in. It’s casual dress.

I don’t think it will be crowded at 8 pm so I think we should be able to each other pretty easily. Just in case it is crowded we can meet at the upstairs bar on the left side when facing the bar from the doorway. We could get a table once we meet up.

Lee

-----Original Message-----
From: Sydney
Sent: Thursday, December 18, 2003 2:54 PM
To: Lee
Subject: RE: Dinner
Hi Lee, how is your day going? Thanks for the clothes advise. I just wanted to verify so I don’t dress too casually and embarrass myself. I will dress nice for you. I remembered that Tonic was casual, but wanted to make sure. Also, don’t worry, I will make sure I have enough money for myself. I hear the food is good there, but I’ve never eaten there. Have you?

I’m looking forward to it. Are you going to walk or drive up there? I rember you saying that you lived on Linden. I only live a few blocks from Tonic.

See you at 9pm
-Sydney

-----Original Message-----
From: Lee
To: Sydney
Subject: RE: Dinner
Date: Thu, 18 Dec 2003 15: 32: 16 -0600

Ok ... you win I am a big ass. I have a large ego. I am cheap and I obvious don’t deserve a date with someone as cool as you. Oh and all I want is sex so I hope you are on the pill because I am too vain to use a condom.

The date was for 8 pm. I asked to go out at 8 pm at least twice before you decided to rip me for trying to make you feel better about canceling because of an illness. You asked to go out to Tonic in one of your previous emails and said that you liked the place having gone their a few times. You also where fine with going out for coffee before my trip to Amsterdam and yes its Amsterdam not Amsterdan which you seem to think is the proper spelling for some reason even though I have typed it correctly fifty times. I would

Have paid for your dinner since I asked you out but I will not pay 300 dollars for a date with a insane person. I am also sure the date would have been like sticking hot pieces of coal in my eyes. I gave you my phone number but you didn’t seem like you knew what to do with it. I am glad you remember my street since I am sure you will be stalking me for typing this horrible email. So you win the bet to see how long I would go before going off on you. You can collect from your friends and go out with your boyfriend tonight.

DATE IS OVER

Lee

P.S.

See you at 8 pm and I am sending this to all my friends so we can laugh at you tonight.

-----Original Message-----
From: Sydney
Sent: Thursday, December 18, 2003 4:53 PM
To: Lee
Subject: RE: Dinner

I don’t get this. Is this some type of joke? What is wrong with you?

-----Original Message-----
From: Lee
To: Sydney
Subject: the last email
Date: Thu, 18 Dec 2003 16:42:20 -0600

I am writing this email because I feel bad about the last email I wrote. I wrote the last because I think you have no intention of meeting me, and you are just playing with me. I think you have been toying with me since you canceled our last date. I did want to meet you tonight but I think it is not worth my time anymore. If this is not the case than I am sorry and Look like an ass. If it is the case than I save myself a bad night either way. I will not be at Tonic tonight.

Lee


*********BEHIND THE SECENES FROM THE DEVELOPMENT TEAM********************
I want to make sure we're all on the same page. We've just completed the first phase of the Tortured Rat Trilogy. Now we head into Phase Two: Sydney As Psycho-Stalker. I will contact Lee's roommate and shared acquaintance, Matt and see if he has a digital camera and if he can email me a photo of Lee's license plate. Phase Three of this saga could possibly see this whole thing come around with Sydney apologizing for her attacks and wanting to make amends, i.e. "Can I just buy you coffee." Lee will agree and she will stand him up and run him around in circles, thus completing the cycle. This should go on as long as possible as it is the Greatest Hoax of All Time.

An aside - Brant and I have discussed the possibility that, in a year or so, we could set up a dummy "Lucas" email and contact Lee with a friendly "what's up?" email. The following email would read something to the effect of, "Lee, I always remembered you weren't really into women in college..." The attachment to this email would be the infamous Lucas' Boner Pic. This is hilarious if A) Lee tells us; or
B) he doesn't 'cause either way, we already know.

BTW, Lee's "P.S. I am sending this to all my friends so we can laugh at you" is the greatest irony of all. In essence, he's exposing our involvement ---by blatantly cc'ing us---- to an entity that WE created. Has this ever happened before? Ever? Damn, that's rich. Brant made an excellent point that we are teaching Lee to stand up for himself, which I don't disagree with.

BTW #2, with this, there is A) a dot-com business potential; or B) a script potential; C) both. Think about it.

This concludes the minutes of the meeting.
*********BEHIND THE SECENES FROM THE DEVELOPMENT TEAM********************

-----Original Message-----
From: Sydney
Sent: Monday, December 22, 2003 12:16 PM
To: Lee
Subject: RE: the last email

Lee, I would like to find out a few things before we go our separate ways.

I’m sorry, but I spent all weekend trying to figure out what I did wrong. I didn’t say anything or do anything to warrant the amazing disrespect you gave me. We haven’t even met!! Do you like hot dogs, because I want to be frank with you. I want to understand what I did? Why did you copy your friends? People who I have never met or know nothing of. You gave complete strangers my email address, and now they know what street I live in. How dare you!!! I plan on contacting the people who run Match to report you. What you did was borderline illegal. How would you feel if I gave all my friends you phone number? I’m through with using this website, because all the men I meet a psychos. I expect an answer from you.

-----Original Message-----
From: Lee
To: Sydney
Subject: RE: the last email
Date: Mon, 22 Dec 2003 14: 37: 16 -0600

Ok, I will try to help you understand why I got mad. I believe I asked you out before my trip to Amsterdam and NYC. I think I asked what your plans where on a Thursday or Friday for next week. I didn’t hear back from you so I wrote you on Monday to see if you wanted to go out. You said you had plans but said you wanted to try to get together when I got back. Then you asked me out for Wednesday of that week. I declined because I was busy. This was all fine and good I had no problems with this I completely understood that you had plans and didn’t have a chance to get back to me before I wrote on Monday. I believe we where going to go out for coffee.

I wrote to you when I got back and somehow we made a date for Thursday. I think I gave you my number at this time. I think we also made plans to get a drink at Tonic. I think a day before the date you said you needed to meet a friend in Summerville before we went out (I thought it was a little strange that you told me about meeting your friend with out giving me a time for meeting up with you). I didn’t hear back from you on Thursday (the day of our date) so I sent another email (around noon) asking about the time we were going to meet. I didn’t get an email back from you until 4 pm.

This is when you canceled because you got sick. I thought it was strange that you didn’t write me before that to either cancel or set a time for the date. I was disappointed and I thought you might have had another date that night so you canceled. I thought to myself “I’ll see if you write me back.” You emailed me after the weekend to see if we could meet this Thursday. You sounded really sorry about canceling so I thought I would try to let you know it was not a big deal that you canceled. That’s when I wrote a quick email back to you that you mistook what I was trying to say. You wrote me a nasty response to that email. I re-read the email and realized that the email sounded bad so I wrote 2 apologies.

This is the point were I think you stop trying to date me and started to screw with me. My reason for thinking this is your response to my apology. You said you would give me another chance and offered to still go out on Thursday. Next you asked if we could do dinner and drinks. This was fine until you named three of the most upscale restaurants in Boston. I don’t mind dressing to the nines on a date but I don’t think I would have been comfortable on a first date in that kind of atmosphere. Also money did play in to my thinking because I was assuming I was paying for the date.

The thought also started to cross my mind that you just wanted some pay back for my insulting email. So I wrote an email back that agreed to the date but asked if we could go some place more low key. You again answered me in a very directly insulting way but said you would still go out.

At this point I was afraid to type anything in email except to ask if 8 pm was ok for our date. You then emailed me back to ask what time did you want to meet. I thought it was odd since I had asked in the previous email if 8pm was ok but I asked again if 8 pm worked for you. You said yes. The next thing I know you start sending me odd emails about what to wear and what I was wearing. I thought they were odd because you had been to Tonic before so I didn’t understand why you didn’t know what the normal dress code was like.
The last straw was the last email you sent. You say you are taking plenty of money to pay for yourself, which I found very insulting since I said I was paying for you in an earlier email.

Next you say see you at 9 pm. At this point from what had been said in the previous emails I thought that you were just planning on blowing me off for revenge and I blew up. I saw myself going to Tonic at 8 pm and waiting by myself at the bar until 9:30 so I got mad. None of the things you did by themselves was that bad but they added up to make me very uneasy about your intensions. So I sent the first email and then the second one because I felt bad.

Lee

It seems like I made a mistake about you and I am sorry about it. Feel free to do what you think is right in regards to match. If there is a way for me to make up for my improper behavior let me know.

-----Original Message-----
From: Sydney
To: Lee
Subject: RE: the last email
Date: Tue, 23 Dec 2003 10:54:54 –0500

Sorry about that last e-mail, I was just getting my thoughts together. Thank you so much for the explanation. I had you completely misjudged. Now that you've explained yourself, it all makes perfect sense. Let me start by saying that im sorry for the confusion I've caused you. This whole episode between us has gotten off to a horrible start and if I could take it back, I would. Looking back at your email, I can see some of the areas where I made mistakes. I agree with all your points except the parts in which you say I sent you a "nasty response" or an "insulting email". I've been nothing but good and polite to you. I apoligze for any wrong impression you have of me. I am a nice person.

Let me please explain in detail what I was thinking just like you did and then we can both understand. When I first started e-mailing you, I mentioned that I get a little crazy when I drink. After I sent the e-mail, I got really scared because I thought I had given you an excuse to take advantage of me. I admit to having a somewhat checkered past and it is true that when I drink I get very promiscuous. This has gotten me into trouble and I am a changed person now. The past is the past, and now I have a regular job like everyone else. I'm showing you some respect here by telling you this and hope that once you understand where I was coming from, you'll trust my intentions and forgive my actions.

Anyway, once I wrote that, I got very nervous and started acting irrationally. I was nervous to meet you before you went away and was hoping to make a connection before you left. I made several jokes about Amsterdam that you didn't get (I guess). I called it Amsterdan thinking you would find me funny. Your profile said that you liked to laugh, so I gave it a shot. It failed and you wrote me back an insulting response. I'm sorry.

Then I got sick, this screwed everything up and made me even more nervous. I could tell by your e-mails that your the kind of guy that I have fallen for very hard in the past and wanted things to be perfect. When I asked all the questions, I was just nervous and needed reassurance that you would really be there. You have no idea of the importance I placed on this date. I waited weeks to meet you and was thinking a lot about you.

Now that I'm embarrassed, let me crawl back into my hole. Anyways, I hope you understand me better now. I don’t know if we've reached the point of no return, but if you are still game, I hope we can still salvage this. Can we start new? I'll understand if you’re not interested though.

-Sydney

Quote:Brant and I have discussed

Kid A involved in this too?

I almost feel bad for this guy.

Keyword = almost

This is not the complete version. I should have more information in the next couple days. I will also be graced by Cesar on New Year's Eve and should get more information. Sadly, I was not involved in the planning due to my hectic schedule and can not take any credit for what has happened.

However, rest assured, what has already been published is a pittance compared the embarassement that will befall Lee. For it shall be very public

Also, I don't know this Lucas guy, but I'm pretty sure he got "outed" and could very well kill himself. The last email in that chain is from two weeks ago. I have no idea why it stopped or where he went.

Cesar is way too into this. He , maybe subconciously, is getting turned on by playing a girl. He has sublimated sexual issues.

hes still funny, even if he is a closet transexual

that is highly possible. The emails between him and Lucas were very disturbing.

While a great prank, this still has nothing on the dog shit in the flaming paper bag prank. That one is priceless!!!

he called the shit poop!

Or the hand in a glass of warm water one! Man, that one is killer!

i like the part where he mentions this is a money making idea. your friends are just like you

ah fuck it. I'm just going to go to bed...here's the rest of what I've got...

We are in the process of hiring an actress from a performing arts school in Boston to play the part of Sydney. Now. Lee has already seen a picture of Sydney and obviously we were not able to find a 5'5" white jewish girl who looked enough like her. So. We have a black chick instead. Don't worry. The script in development handles this plot twist superbly. Plus. Lee has already shown to be a spineless coward and will sit through this no matter what.

I have included both an overview of the process and the shooting schedule that has been developed (one of the guys in on the joke is an independent movie director)

------
------------
Overview:

I spoke to my brother about this project, and he has agreed to edit it. He is sn editor for Showtime, and will use his equipment to professionally create a cool DVD with graphics. We had discussed the format and need to provide him the following:

1) All the raw footage from the Sydney/Lee date. I'm thinking we set-up 3 hidden cameras, as well as secretly micing the table and faux Syndey.

2) As DVD extras, we will have interviews with all participants before and after the meeting. In the "before" segment, we will discuss the history of the bit, have a "behind the scenes" walk-through of the restaurant and set-up, and an overview of the casting of Jada. The "after" segment will feature discussions with all participants, and a climactic extensive interview with Mr. Lee as the closing. Hopefully (lets cross our fingers)we can get a tear down Lee's check as we fade to black.

My brother said he can turn this around in about 3 weeks. Just to toss-out a preliminary date, what do you guys think of Saturday, Jan24th? I will (of course) drive up for this event.

--------
production schedule
--------

Alex/Brant, I just got off the phone with Derrick. We decided that you Two will co-chair location direction. We need you two to come up with an appropriate restaurant for this venue (since you are local). The place needs to fulfill the following requirements:

1) We will all be at the place to witness it, so we need good places to hide/shield ourselves. IF LEE SEE'S ANY OF US, THE BIT IS DEAD!!!!!
2) The place should have areas to place three (3) hidden cameras, as well as a mike under the table.
3) The place should not be too loud, or too dark (we need good audio and video, or else the whole thing is a waste of time)
4) Preferably, this place will not be too crowded (kind of harkens back to the sound factor)
5) The food must be reasonably priced (or else Lee won't agree to go there).
6) Preferably, this place is in Allston
7) Management (or at least someone there) needs to be "in" on the event so we can get proper sightlines and seating and also get the cameras/mics set up. That surprisingly probalby won't be that difficult.

Please scout several locations and give me your top 3 by the end of the week. We are on a shoestring budget here ($1000) so everything must be followed to a tee.

The preliminary production schedule for "Do you Like Hot Dogs?" is as follows:
Dec 29-Jan 3: Location scouting (Alex/Brant)
Jan 3: Final location decided (Alex/Brant)
Jan 7: Final casting decision made (Cesar)
Dec 29-Jan 9: Rough script and notes prepared for actress (Cesar/Brant/Alex/Derrick)
Jan 9: Notes/Script given to actress
Jan 13: Conference call with all participants
Jan 16: Final preparations made. Cesar/Derrick drive up to Boston in The afternoon. Location re-scouted. Cesar/Brant/Derrick/Alex have dinner/drinks to put the finishing touches and make any last-second changes. Interviews will be given for the DVD extra "before" section. Jan 17: D-Day. In the afternoon, interviews will be given for the DVD Extra "before" section (everyone except Lee). Dinner expected to be at approx. 6:30. Interviews will be given for the DVD extra "after" section (including Lee).

Quote:Do you like hot dogs, because I want to be frank with you

By the way, this was the best line of the whole thing, and no one noticed it.

ok now this seems like way to much work

and i noticed it i just forgot about it by the time i finished reading

remember when practical jokes were as easy as a "Kick Me!" sign and some scotch tape?

This is like the Joe Schmo show, but evil.

this is way too elaborate to work correctly

No. I will not give you money.