05-17-2004, 05:06 AM
Smart Jones won the Preakness Stakes on Saturday by a record of 11 lengths.
Last year at this time of the year, everyone was fucking jerking off when Funny Cide won the second leg of the VISA Triple Crown by 9 lengths, the second best record at the time. It all began when the horse won the stupid Kentucky Derby, beating out the favorite to win (as usual).All the hype for this horse and his jockey led up to the final leg of this bullshit, the Belmont Stakes. And what happened?? The favorite who lost the Derby beat the fucker in the last race. And that's that.
I am utterly baffled why this sport still exists. It's not just the uselessness of this sport, or the beating and breeding of these animals for simply the sport of horse racing, but it's the fucking attention and hype these three races get.
There are only three sports that I want to see on national tv; basketball, baseball, and football. Those are the three big sports in the US, and that's all I want to see given national attention. The rest can duke it out on cable as far as I'm concerned. And the great thing is, the only times I need to watch them nationally are either on weekends and the playoffs. Everyone knows that weekends are filled with plenty o airtime to fill up, so you would think that you could tune into CBS, ABC, NBC and watch one of those three.
BZZZ, wrong. NBC has to air this stupid shit. Midgets on horses running around a track for a minute or two.
Not just that, they have to air three hours of coverage before each race, where they put the skills of their "talented" sports journalists to their best use- tellling the hard-up stories of rich white people who pay people to inseminate and breed horses for racing purposes.
Now, every year, when this crap starts, the journalists start off talking about the favorite to win the Derby, and how incredible this horse is. At some point, they mention how they paid for the semen of the grandnephew of Seattle Slew to create this Adonis of the horse species, and the horse usually has some impressive name, like Empire Maker.
Then, usually some horse with a dickhead name like Funny Cide goes and blows them away while this Spanish dwarf yells like Speedy Gonzalez and slaps the ass of the horse with a stick. If they started putting cameras on the horses, like they do in Nascar, I'm sure that with stuff like that going on, there would be millions of beastiality freaks blowing their loads to the free S&M horse porn thats being broadcast to them for free, instead of the fucking second round playoff basketball game.
Well, this time around, the favorite is Smarty Jones, and , unlike most of these other stupid horses whose only acknowledgment will come from being answers to Sports and Leisure questions on the Genus edition of Trivial Pursuit, is still undefeated going into Belmont. Only Seattle Slew has gone undefeated going into Belmont, and we all know what happened to him. Yep, he got to have his dick jerked off for the rest of his life.
Think about it, this is really the whole point of this fucking crap. We don't ride horses anymore, we have cars, so it's not like we're trying to breeding faster modes of transportation for the common man.
By cheering for a horse in these races, all we are doing is rooting for one particular horse to have his nuts fondled and his cock stroked for the rest of his adult life. That's all. Now, maybe that's why the animal rights people haven't gotten this shit shut down yet. I'm sure PETA would volunteer to toss some Smart Jones salad around, give him a tug. And I'm sure there is a number of people that enjoy this shit. But There cannot possibly be a majority of people who want to watch this crap. It's beyond fucking hype, it's ultra hype. The only thing that's missing is President Bush saying that these horses are racing to find WMDs. It's all hype, all bullshit. Give me ten niggers with a ball on a hardwood floor being told what to do by white people for 48 minutes every other day, not a dozen or so horses being whipped by Spanish midgets as they run for two minutes so that the winner can have the cum pumped out of his balls for the rest of his life.
Last year at this time of the year, everyone was fucking jerking off when Funny Cide won the second leg of the VISA Triple Crown by 9 lengths, the second best record at the time. It all began when the horse won the stupid Kentucky Derby, beating out the favorite to win (as usual).All the hype for this horse and his jockey led up to the final leg of this bullshit, the Belmont Stakes. And what happened?? The favorite who lost the Derby beat the fucker in the last race. And that's that.
I am utterly baffled why this sport still exists. It's not just the uselessness of this sport, or the beating and breeding of these animals for simply the sport of horse racing, but it's the fucking attention and hype these three races get.
There are only three sports that I want to see on national tv; basketball, baseball, and football. Those are the three big sports in the US, and that's all I want to see given national attention. The rest can duke it out on cable as far as I'm concerned. And the great thing is, the only times I need to watch them nationally are either on weekends and the playoffs. Everyone knows that weekends are filled with plenty o airtime to fill up, so you would think that you could tune into CBS, ABC, NBC and watch one of those three.
BZZZ, wrong. NBC has to air this stupid shit. Midgets on horses running around a track for a minute or two.
Not just that, they have to air three hours of coverage before each race, where they put the skills of their "talented" sports journalists to their best use- tellling the hard-up stories of rich white people who pay people to inseminate and breed horses for racing purposes.
Now, every year, when this crap starts, the journalists start off talking about the favorite to win the Derby, and how incredible this horse is. At some point, they mention how they paid for the semen of the grandnephew of Seattle Slew to create this Adonis of the horse species, and the horse usually has some impressive name, like Empire Maker.
Then, usually some horse with a dickhead name like Funny Cide goes and blows them away while this Spanish dwarf yells like Speedy Gonzalez and slaps the ass of the horse with a stick. If they started putting cameras on the horses, like they do in Nascar, I'm sure that with stuff like that going on, there would be millions of beastiality freaks blowing their loads to the free S&M horse porn thats being broadcast to them for free, instead of the fucking second round playoff basketball game.
Well, this time around, the favorite is Smarty Jones, and , unlike most of these other stupid horses whose only acknowledgment will come from being answers to Sports and Leisure questions on the Genus edition of Trivial Pursuit, is still undefeated going into Belmont. Only Seattle Slew has gone undefeated going into Belmont, and we all know what happened to him. Yep, he got to have his dick jerked off for the rest of his life.
Think about it, this is really the whole point of this fucking crap. We don't ride horses anymore, we have cars, so it's not like we're trying to breeding faster modes of transportation for the common man.
By cheering for a horse in these races, all we are doing is rooting for one particular horse to have his nuts fondled and his cock stroked for the rest of his adult life. That's all. Now, maybe that's why the animal rights people haven't gotten this shit shut down yet. I'm sure PETA would volunteer to toss some Smart Jones salad around, give him a tug. And I'm sure there is a number of people that enjoy this shit. But There cannot possibly be a majority of people who want to watch this crap. It's beyond fucking hype, it's ultra hype. The only thing that's missing is President Bush saying that these horses are racing to find WMDs. It's all hype, all bullshit. Give me ten niggers with a ball on a hardwood floor being told what to do by white people for 48 minutes every other day, not a dozen or so horses being whipped by Spanish midgets as they run for two minutes so that the winner can have the cum pumped out of his balls for the rest of his life.