+- CDIH (https://www.cdih.net/cdih)
+-- Forum: General Discussion and Entertainment (https://www.cdih.net/cdih/forumdisplay.php?fid=4)
+--- Forum: The Pit (https://www.cdih.net/cdih/forumdisplay.php?fid=9)
+--- Thread: Fuck Christmas!! (/showthread.php?tid=4495)
- GonzoStyle - 12-20-2002
Santa left condoms on your baby seat.
- The Sleeper - 12-20-2002
Santa fucked Sammy Sosa
- IrishAlkey - 12-20-2002
I'm not playing anymore.
- GonzoStyle - 12-20-2002
Santa will tell you when the game is over, watch out he's gonna come up your fire escape and down silera's throat.
- IrishAlkey - 12-20-2002
That happened to Kennedy.
- GonzoStyle - 12-20-2002
He fucked silera?
- IrishAlkey - 12-20-2002
Kennedy wasn't Dominican.
- GonzoStyle - 12-20-2002
Neither are you.
- IrishAlkey - 12-20-2002
I can move my hips.
- GonzoStyle - 12-20-2002
Kennedy's can move their hips just not their heads or plane gears.
- IrishAlkey - 12-20-2002
Why go there?
- GonzoStyle - 12-20-2002
Cause the kennedy curse is a comedy goldmine.
- IrishAlkey - 12-20-2002
Why be mean?
- OAS - 12-20-2002
Why must you Jews pick on Christmas. Can we help it if your holidays are all stupid and boring?
Days of unleven bread
Lamps burning oil
Celebrating some stupid wooden top that doesn't even spin real long
Pursecuting more Palestinians
Come up with a real holiday and maybe you wouldn't be so bitter.
- Arpikarhu - 12-20-2002
Purim kicks ass!!! noise makers, costumes, and hamantashen!!
- Buttmunch - 12-20-2002
Ted Kennedy is Santa Claus?
I thought it was my father.
- Arpikarhu - 12-20-2002
Hamantaschen
a la Purim on the Net
INGREDIENTS
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1 stick of sweet butter, softened
2 tablespoons confectioners sugar
2 egg yolks
3 tablespoons ice water
1l/2 cups flour
jam, apricot or prune
butter to grease the cookie sheet
flour to roll the dough on
DIRECTIONS
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cream the butter and sugar together in the large bowl. Add the egg yolks and continue to mix well.
Add the ice water. Gradually stir in flour until a ball of dough is formed. Place the dough in plastic wrap and refrigerate it for several hours or overnight.
When ready to continue, take dough out of refrigerator
Turn on the oven to 350 degrees.
Grease the cookie sheet with the butter.
Divide the dough in half. Wrap the extra half in the plastic and put back in the refrigerator.
Roll out the dough on a clean, lightly floured surface to a 1/4" thickness. Cut it into 2" circles ( use the top of a glass to "press out" the circles)
Place 1 teaspoon of the jam in the center of each circle and fold into three-cornered cookies:
start by pressing two sides together, then fold the third side over and press the ends together.
Place the Hamantaschen about an inch apart on the greased cookie sheet and bake for 10-15 minutes, or until lightly browned along the edges
Makes about 12 Hamantaschen
- Arpikarhu - 12-20-2002
read aloud and use your noisemaker everytime you read the name Hamen
The Story of Purim
In the third year of his reign, the King of Persia, Ahashverosh (also known as Ahasuerus and Ahashuerus) decided to have a feast. It was on the seventh day of these festivities that the King summoned his queen, Vashti, to appear before him and demonstrate her beauty for the King's officials. Vashti refused to appear. (According to the Talmud, G-d afflicted her with leprosy to cause her downfall and Esther's rise.) Incensed, the King asked his officers for a suitable punishment. One advisor, Memuchan (some think he was was actually Haman), argued that Vashti should be killed for her disobedience. The King took his advice and Vashti was killed
As time passed the King desired a new queen. To find a suitable wife, a contest was initiated among all the eligible girls in the kingdom. One of those was Esther, a Jewish girl. Esther had been raised by her relative Mordechai after her parents' death. Mordechai instructed Esther not to divulge her Jewishness when she went to meet the king. Each day Mordechai walked by the court and inquired as to her well being. Esther impressed all who met her, including the King, and she was elevated to queen
Years later the King elevated Haman , a descendant of Amelak, the traditional enemy of the Jews, to the position of chief advisor. Haman was a wicked and vain man who expected everyone to bow down to him. Mordechai refused to bow because Jews are to bow only before G-D. Not content to just punish Mordechai, Haman wanted to destroy the entire Jewish people in Persia. He cast lots or PURIM to determine the day of annihilation
Haman went to the King, slandered the Jews, and convinced the King to go along with his plans. Upon learning of the plot, Mordechai tore his clothes, wore sackcloth and ashes, and walked through the city crying loudly. When Esther heard of Mordechai's display she dispatched a messenger to discover what was troubling her relative. Mordechai recounted the details of the evil decree and instructed Esther to intercede on the Jews behalf. Esther agreed to appear before the King and instructed Mordechai to organize a three-day fast for all the Jews on her behalf
After completing the three-day fast, Esther entered the king's inner court dressed in her most royal garb. The King inquired as to Esther's desires. Esther replied that she wished to invite the King and Haman to a banquet. After the feast Esther asked the King and Haman to a to return for another banquet the next night. Haman left the banquet consumed with self importance and pride, but these feelings were turned to anger when he saw Mordechai. Haman went home, and his wife, Zeresh, advised him to construct a gallows. Haman joyously acted upon the suggestion
That night, the King discovered that Mordechai had never been rewarded for saving him from the assassination plot of two servants. When Haman appeared in the court, the King decided that his trusted servant should determine Mordechai's compensation. Haman , intending to obtain the King's permission to hang Mordechai, unwittingly answered the King's questions. The King asked Haman, "What should be done for the man the King wishes to reward?" Haman, believing that Ahashverosh intended to reward him, replied that the honoree should be dressed in royal clothing, ride upon a royal horse. And be led through the city streets by an official proclaiming "This is what is done to the man the King wishes to honor"
Ahashverosh agreed and instructed Haman to carry it out for Mordechai, Crestfallen, Haman followed the King's orders. Haman's daughter, mistakenly believing that her father was being led by Mordechai, dumped garbage on her father, the horses' leader
At Esther's second banquet Haman's downfall continued. Esther revealed Haman's villainous plot and the fact that she was Jewish. She asked the King to "grant me my soul and my people." Ahashverosh consumed with anger ordered that Haman be hanged on the gallows intended for Mordechai. The King elevated Mordechai to a position of great influence and allowed him to issue edicts permitting the Jews to fight their enemies. On the thirteenth and fourteenth of Adar the Jews won tremendous victories and were saved from the threat of total annihilation
Ever since, Jews have observered Purim. The day before Purim is a day of fasting, in memory of Esther's fast. The fast is then followed by two days of dancing, merrymaking, feasting and gladness
- Luna - 12-20-2002
Christmas is cool....I always buy myself lots of presents
- Arpikarhu - 12-20-2002
for all of your Purim needs!
Purim.com