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+--- Thread: My medical situation (/showthread.php?tid=4493)
- Galt - 12-19-2002
Earlier today, I began a process that hopefully will rid me of this horrifying situation. I have been to the doctor once already this morning, and will be going back for another treatment in less than three hours.
I am, to say the least, frustrated it is taking so long.
My day began at their office at 10:00 AM. They made me wait for over 20 minutes with no good reason and nary a apology. During this time, I read a Newsweek article about the Sims Online and how fools pay $10 a month for a souped up chatroom. They like it. People are dumb. I also read with much amazement, that it's a fad in high school to not have sex. Be different from the crowd, and how a 2001 study revealed that 10% less high school students have had sex than a similar 1991 survey.
But I digress.....
With allergy season in full swing and my headcold (hiya Hedcold!) already screwing with my eustachian tubes with congestion, I can barely hear. I feel like Rush Limbaugh, but not as fat.
You see. I have ear wax. Not necessarily a lot of ear wax, but it's impacted. Q-tips don't work at all, and they are also the Devil's tool to make you deaf.
So I go in today to get all that nastiness drained, sucked, vacuumed, whateverthehelloutofmyhead and, well it's not been easy.
For I have very small ear canals as I was told by the M.D., which makes it difficult for the wax to work its way out of th ear canal. I also have dry skin, which not only creates more wax, but makes it hardened, and difficult to remove.
They started with a stool softener that they eyedropped into my head. I waited for a few minutes on my side and read a wonderful story in a September issue of Entertainment Weekly about Larry David and his smash success, "Curb Your Enthusiam". Great great show: a personal favorite.
After that worked its magic, they sat me up and used a giant metal turkey baster to pump sweet luscious warm peroxide-water into my skull. After a good 10 full washes in a few minutes, it was obvious that the cavalry had to be called.
So they bring in Linda. Linda walks in with a different tool. It's like a waterpick on growth hormones. I have no idea how it's going to fit into my head. It's now 11:15, and after some more stool sampler, she starts shooting this waterpump into my head. It was actually very pleasing and soothing.
Alas, nothing came out. They are amazed at the brick of ear wax in my head. They are amazed I can hear at all.
They give up :-( . They are no match for my auditory canal. They had me a giant vat of stool sampler, give me a nudge on the chin, and say "put this in your ears every thirty minutes, and come back at 3:00 and we'll give it another go, champ."
Saddened, but optomistic, I walk to library to share my ordeal with you.
I shall now put the poop stuff in my head.
- Metalfan - 12-19-2002
I've had that done before......my doc actually went in with what looked like a dentist's meathook looking metal device and scraped it out. Did a nice job too...no blood :thumbs-up: Just be careful if they come at you with a wet-dry vac, ok?
- FNMoron - 12-19-2002
oh... this reminds me...
i have to poop :thumbs-up:
- Arpikarhu - 12-19-2002
better than getting tubes put behind your eardrums cause they wont drain. me-7 times. ouchy!
- Galt - 12-19-2002
The vacuum thing will be a last resort.
PS. Did I mention that this "Linda" expert is a nigger. And that she has severe B.O.
- Arpikarhu - 12-19-2002
i was interested in this story until you played the race card. :disappointed:
- Weird NJ - 12-19-2002
Quote:During this time, I read a Newsweek article about the Sims Online and how fools pay $10 a month for a souped up chatroom. They like it. People are dumb.:-p You're just jealous.
Edited By Weird NJ on 1040319617
- Hybrid - 12-19-2002
i just used a q-tip. i feel so fresh and so clean cleaan.
- Kingpin - 12-19-2002
So putting stool softener in you ear, would that make you a shit head??
- Galt - 12-19-2002
wakka wakka Kingpin. Wakka fucking wakka.
And Hybrid, you think it's all fun and games until you realize that all you are doing is pushing the mess further into your head. Qtips are the worst thing in the world. They are not merely useless, but counterproductive.
- Hybrid - 12-19-2002
i feel clean though. and i dont jam them in my ear, i just clean the outsides.
- Galt - 12-19-2002
but it feels so good when you jam it in ear canal!!!!
- PollyannaFlower46 - 12-19-2002
I use Q-Tips like 4-5 times a day...I'm like obsessive compulsive about them for some reason.
- Galt - 12-19-2002
on your ears or to give yourself Pap Smears
- PollyannaFlower46 - 12-19-2002
On my ears silly...Pap Smears hurt! :-o
- DGW - 12-19-2002
momma alwayz said don't put anything smaller then yer elbow in yer ear
- Maynard - 12-19-2002
Man...that's gotta suck. I've never had a problem getting the wax out of my ears. I guess I'm lucky.
- Arpikarhu - 12-19-2002
Quote:I guess I'm lucky.you have clean ears but the rest of your body is a pasty mess and you call yourself lucky?!?
- PollyannaFlower46 - 12-19-2002
On the bright side, you could be stuck at work.
- Galt - 12-19-2002
I'm on vacation for like five weeks. Huzzah!