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+--- Thread: Kids - have them, want them, hate them (/showthread.php?tid=4863)
- Hey Ladi - 01-14-2003
Ok, so I've been going over this a lot lately. (besides reading about Ol' Petey)
If you have children, how did you decide? Did you really want to, or was it just expected? A surprise?
If you don't have them, do you plan on it? Why?
I think I'd like to not have any. There are too many as it is. Too many people on this planet with no one to take care of them, I don't want to possibly add to that.
I don't know if I want to be responsible for a whole person, for their education, development, etc. Sure it'd be fun sometimes, but I know I've been a huge pain in the ass to my parents at times, so I don't think I need someone else's shit.
Sure people say they do it for the unconditional love a child brings & oooo isn't it a miracle .... sure, it's a miracle, but not enough people treat it like that. They shove their kids off on other people. Daycare, after school care, nannies, etc.
I don't see why it's so important for someone's family to continue on, to have a legacy, all that bs. You won't be there to see it after you die, and does anything matter after that anyway? Not to you, you're dead.
:banana: What do you think? There is always the chance you are the lucky one to raise a serial killer. :thumbs-up:
- Jack - 01-14-2003
I'm a firm believer in destiny and that things happen for a reason. But, while I carry such beliefs, I also think that part of your life can be controlled.
That being said, yes I would like to have 1 or 2 kids. No more than that though. I don't think I could handle more that that.
Should I have children someday, I want them to be within 2-3 years of age difference. I don't want to be like me and my brother where there is a 7 year gap. It makes things difficult sometimes.
- Metalfan - 01-14-2003
We had some medical concerns involved, so we actually started later than we would have otherwise. At first, I didn't want to and had to be talked into having kids....actually both times I had to be talked into it :lol: But, I now have two beautiful kids, who, unfortunately have me as a father. I know that will come back to bite me in the ass in about 20 years :disappointed: Both kids were planned...and the plan now is to stop at 2....phew!
Yeah, its a lot of work....yeah, it can be incredibly frustrating at times....but I wouldn't change a thing now that I have them....well, maybe they could sleep better...but besides that.
I have no choice but to put my kids into daycare. I don't make enough by myself to cover the mortgage and all the other monthly expenses, so I need Mrs. Metal to work and bring in a decent income. As long as her salary more than covers the childcare expenses.....off to daycare they go...I don't like it...but I can't afford otherwise :disappointed:
Ladi....I agree with your decision to not have kids..... :poke:
- Weird NJ - 01-14-2003
I can't have kids. The bad genes will carry over and multiply. :crackhead:
- Spitfire - 01-14-2003
Not yet, not for a very long time.
I'm having too much fun being selfish and doing everything I want to do, whenever I want to. I have a bunch of years of fun left in me, kids are a death sentence to never leaving the house and going to sleep before 9 pm. I don't want to grow up yet.
- Suzie - 01-14-2003
Quote:I don't see why it's so important for someone's family to continue on, to have a legacy, all that bs.
I totally agree. Although one day, when I have the resources, I'd like to adopt 1 or 2 Afrcian orphans. According to my new boss, I'm eventually gonna be rich, so this is a real possibility.
- LZMF1 - 01-14-2003
Quote:Sure people say they do it for the unconditional love a child brings & oooo isn't it a miracle .... sure, it's a miracle, but not enough people treat it like that. They shove their kids off on other people. Daycare, after school care, nannies, etc.too any people do that and it kinda sickens me. children are not accessories that can be brought out and put on display for other people then ditched off on someone else when they act up they are a huge responsibility. if you're not willing to take that on then DO NOT have them.
my kid is a little maniac but then again look at her pops. :crackhead:
she's actually a pretty cool kid and even at 15 months has one Hell of a personality.
- Hey Ladi - 01-14-2003
Quote:death sentence to never leaving the house and going to sleep before 9 pm. I don't want to grow up yet.right
You spend so much time seeking out some adult you want to spend all this time with, you bother to get married, and then .... you want to be occupied every waking moment by these new little people, who's personalities are a crap shoot mind you?? no thanks
ps metal :fuckoff: :-p
- Metalfan - 01-14-2003
Quote:if you're not willing to take that on then DO NOT have them.
I take FULL responsibility for my kids....I just don't have the financial means to keep them out of daycare. It does help to teach them socialization skills....so hopefully neither of mine will become total sociopaths :thumbs-up:
Quote:little people
You're not talking about Grumpy, are you?
Edited By Metalfan on 1042565027
- LZMF1 - 01-14-2003
Quote:kids are a death sentence to never leaving the house and going to sleep before 9 pm. I don't want to grow up yet.not necessarily.
if the kid is a good sleeper there's no reason to be in bed by 9 pm.
i'm 31 with a kid and i have yet to grow up :-p
- Smashed Cactus - 01-14-2003
have one, wasnt planned, dont regret it in the slightest. i didnt expect to be a mother at 20 but like someone else mentioned i believe that things happen for a reason and my girl is the best thing that ever happened to me
cheers
- Luna - 01-14-2003
I made a conscious desicion years ago about not having kids. It's a huge job for a very long time. I know there are joys that go along with it, as well, but, I have my niece and nephews for that. I just don't want to be responsible for another human being on any level as a parent. Sometimes I have a hard enough time taking care of myself.
- Suzie - 01-14-2003
Quote:kids are a death sentence to never leaving the house and going to sleep before 9 pm.
Funny, I feel the same way about marriage. Maybe not an early bedtime but it sure can mean the death of your social life.
- LZMF1 - 01-14-2003
Quote:I take FULL responsibility for my kids....metal that statement wasn't aimed at you.
i was talking about the people that are too into themselves to even bother with their kids. they make me want to puke. my cunt of a cousin and her douchebag husband are primary examples of what i'm talking about. their children are like animals because they get ZERO attention from their Asshole parents.
Edited By LZMF1 on 1042565524
- Hey Ladi - 01-14-2003
Luna, do people ask you about it? give you shit even?
I always want to ask, but some people will be offended, in case it's medical & a touchy subject.
ooo speaking of, fertility drugs! what evil invention are they?!?! Let's let people have 3 & 4 at a time, ooooo weeeeeee :crackhead:
uicide:Edited By Hey Ladi on 1042565585
- LZMF1 - 01-14-2003
Quote:fertility drugs! what evil invention are they?!?!very evil in some instances......
i know one couple that had to use that sort of treatment because there was something wrong with my buddy's wifes goodies. they now have two kids and they're great parents.
i know another couple that are like my cousin and her husband. they had to use fertilty drugs and their kids should be spayed and neutered so that they cannot continue to ruin the gene pool (i'm talking about the parents and the children)
Edited By LZMF1 on 1042566021
- Teenweek - 01-14-2003
Well I have a baby girl on the way due in May and I am looking forward to it. I know my life will change, but the positives will definitely outweigh the negatives. And the reason many people put their kids in daycare, I will be one because both my wife and I need to continue to work to support ourselves and our children. Everything costs too much today for both parents not too work unless you are rich.
- Luna - 01-14-2003
Quote:Luna, do people ask you about? give you shit?Oh yes. My mother has given up on me. My grandmother used to hound me about it. "get married...have children...get married...have children" :crackhead: I would just crinkle up my face and say "No way".
My married friends said the same things, until they had 2 kids....now they say "I know why you don't have kids"....and they used to think I was really screwed in the head because of my choices.
I love kids. I think they are great. I've even considered getting involved in a "Big Sister" type organization for needy kids. Unfortunately, my extra curricular activities are too booked up right now.
- LZMF1 - 01-14-2003
Quote:I know my life will changeoh, you can count on that!
but you're correct........the positives definitely outweigh the negatives.
- Goatweed - 01-14-2003
Mrs. goat and I have discussed having kids (she more than I actually), and we both agree on wanting to have them - we just don't agree on when. Since we're getting this house now, she's thrilled and wants to essentially "go the distance" and have a kid - plus, she's 33, and in her own words "she's not getting any younger". I want to wait until next year to give us at least a year to settle into the house and get the finances straight to make sure that we can afford to have one (not that anyone can really afford to have a child, but at least try to budget for it). Chances are we'll meet in the middle, which means we'll get crackin' on it later this year (whoohoo - I'll actually get laid!). I love kids, and I want to have no more than two but the responsibility of being a parent really is a lot to take on, at least to me. I still think and act like a kid most of the time, how the Hell can I be responsible?
As for extending the family, I'm into that - I don't come from a very large family, and as it is my current family is torn in two - I've written off my aunt (mom's sister) her husband and 2 kids as pieces of shit that could die tomorrow I'd I'd be at the very least happy about it. I never got to know my father's family, his mom died way before I was born, and for most of my life he never spoke to them - only recently before he passed did they start to talk again, and since he's gone now we almost never hear from them. That leaves me with my mom, brother and two grandparents. I inherited family from the Mrs., but they're a lot older and save for one brother in law and my wifes parents, I really don't like them all tat much to be chummy with.
So yeah, I'd like to have a large family, or at least sow the seeds for a large family in the next generation or so.