Found this in an email - Printable Version +- CDIH (https://www.cdih.net/cdih) +-- Forum: General Discussion and Entertainment (https://www.cdih.net/cdih/forumdisplay.php?fid=4) +--- Forum: The Pit (https://www.cdih.net/cdih/forumdisplay.php?fid=9) +--- Thread: Found this in an email (/showthread.php?tid=6429) |
- Kingpin - 05-23-2003 Ok, A friend sent this to me and i thought it was very funny. I hope you do to. Subject: Man's Diary Dear Diary, I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women differ so much. And I have never figured out the whole 'Venus and Mars' thing. I've also never figured out why men think with their head while women think with their heart. And I've yet have figure out how the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do". One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says: "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me". I said: "WHAT??????" So she says the words that I and every husband on the planet dread. She explains that I must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. I'm thinking: "What was her first clue?". I finally realize that nothing was going to happen that night, so I went to sleep. The very next day, we went shopping at a big, unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on three different very expensive outfits. She could not decide which one to take so I told her to take all three of them. She then tells me that she wants matching shoes worth $200.00 a pair to which I say ok. And then we go to the jewelry dept. where she gets a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you........ she was so excited. She must have thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but I don't think she cared. I think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet because she does not even play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I told her that it was ok. She was so excited by all of this when she finally said: "I'm ready to go to the cash register". I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out: "No, honey don't feel like buying all this stuff now." You should have seen her face...... it went completely blank. I then said: "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while". And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added: "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a Man". I figure that I won't be having sex again until sometime after the spring of 2008. But I bet he felt great doing it. :21: - DGW - 05-23-2003 okay that wuz worth reading - Kingpin - 05-23-2003 I thought so. Man that would be cruel to do, fun, but cruel. :rofl: - Arpikarhu - 05-23-2003 why live with a woman who doesnt want to have sex with you? i dont get it. - Kingpin - 05-23-2003 Get married and find out. - GonzoStyle - 05-23-2003 I bet froy sent that to your oa.com email account. - Kingpin - 05-23-2003 Uh, Nope. But I bet he wish he had. - GonzoStyle - 05-23-2003 Missing out on those new miss bear pics, sucka!!! - Arpikarhu - 05-23-2003 Quote:Get married and find out.i was for 7 years. we fucked every day right up until the end - GonzoStyle - 05-23-2003 Sorry, for a second I thought maynard just posted. - Arpikarhu - 05-23-2003 you are getting very close to pissing me off, mr. man! - GonzoStyle - 05-23-2003 sorry my eyes were playing tricks on me. - Arpikarhu - 05-23-2003 dont go there, brother man! - GonzoStyle - 05-23-2003 MY MINDS PLAYIN TRICKS ON ME!!! - HedCold - 05-23-2003 Quote:I bet froy sent that to your oa.com email account.something about "slipping your mule into her" would be in there if he did - GonzoStyle - 05-23-2003 chocolate sundaes!!!! - HedCold - 05-23-2003 LICK HER LIKE A FUDGESICLE! - Arpikarhu - 05-23-2003 who is making all of those blank posts between yours , gonzo? - HedCold - 05-23-2003 :lookatme: :lookatme: - Arpikarhu - 05-23-2003 hmmm, another blank post. although they have the air of treachery about them. |