SPAMMING is mostly Nigerian Nigger Nonsense...Now, it's Art

[funsnapsdyno]

Why aren't they on in Philly anymore? I used to get the station driving to work, went to look one day and they were gone. I'm now forced to listen to a boring "morning show with mike and diane". God I miss Howard.

[diceisgod]

YSP changed formats back to music and dumped them. In part because of the change but I think mostly because they had beef or something. Who knows but this gives me yet another brilliant idea....

[diceisgod]

SPAM Anthony Cumia (& some of his servants)

Mr. Cumia

I don't know if you remember me nor care but I know you remember the old oa.com forums and Froy and other such crap. I destroyed that board by the way but I had nothing to do with the "personal" & background & "female" issues. That ain't my style as I don't care but I do relish the psychological, genius & subtle over the "asswipe" type of cyber terrorism.

BS aside and the fact I won't hear a lick of your show as your people can't seem to wrangle getting a free Philly connection (WTF is wrong with you poeple?), I know you guys are cool overall and like to get in on the "ground floor" of cool and innovation. If this is still the case, welcome to Coolville and visit my blog and other bells and whistles which I link here from my brand new myspace page:

<!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="http://profile.myspace.com/DIGRULES">http://profile.myspace.com/DIGRULES</a><!-- m -->

If you like MMA, Porn, "messageboard lore", and other "stuff", you might find it interesting. Maybe so interesting enough to peddle it on your program and give a shout out and a "pass along" or a few to any hotshot connections you have at the UFC or elsewhere that recognoize brilliance, have power, have balls, have vision, and have the ways and means to get me paid. Maybe give a guy a break if you feel like being Santa Claus.

Either way thank you and Happy New Year. BTW I write to YOU specifically because I think your freckled-face hot-redhead Bozo the clown looking partner seems about as computer savy as my grandmother and Norton is just a chucklehead.

So I would look forward to you having a look and giving feedback.So please get in touch when possible...or fucking don't....whatever.

Best Regards,
DIG

PS. NO I won't buy XM. Satellite radio is dogshit. So please get on the fucking air in Philly. It's a disgrace. What is Philly anyway? The 5th-6th largest market in the country? Granted, it's about 70-80% niggers but still...Wake up and get on the ball.


Below is a forward of the above to an assortment of easily available OA show scumbags with publically listed emails:

Hello Little Leacherous Hangers-on, Minions & Piggies,

I sent this email to your Master. Please expedite getting this in front of him.

Regards & Happy New Year,
DIG

SPAM THE DICEMAN (or at least the latest blog entry of the so-called "official" myspace page...OH!)

Dice, shoot your manager. He's a retard. Now, you ain't Einstein yourself but maybe you'll get this:

I got 6 words and 1 number for you:

The Day the Laughter Died Part 3

Get into a club with 15-20 unsuspecting jerkoffs, roll the tape, FUCK WITH THEM, Go...

So follow this very simple procedure but first understand: You won't make a 6 figure MSG paycheck afterward, you won't fill Giants Stadiium afterward (ever), You won't be in negociations for Ford Fairlane 2 afterward (ever...hopefully...let's let that movie alone as it is a materpeice...please don't sully it with a shitty sequel....PLEASE).

What you WILL DO is this: Make another FANTATSIC comedy album.

Then do it again (TDLD4, etc). Your stadium work paid you well but let's be honest ....it's mediocre. Now I know that it takes balls and brains to to that point but what is it that you want? Money or to be the greatest comedian on Earth? Think about it.

So hickory dickory dock who gives a fock, but i sez do what you do best and cut the crap. FUCK WITH THEM.

No matter what though, I still love you (yeah I know...who gives a fock...OH!)

-DIG

PS. If Dice HIMSELF don't really look at this myspace page or write on it or whatever...I hope whoever really does and is committing this fucking fraud gets their balls ripped off at the roots and fed to their fucking mother.

PSS. Please drop the rhyme bullshit. It's done. It was great but it's done. OVER. Please don't promise more. Please don't give in to and try to please the smellymasses of imbecile jerkoffs (just me). When they scream for them at gigs, work your magic and...FUCK THEM AND WITH THEM. Those fuckin' retarded cunts...

That's all I got to say but lastly hire me as a writer, take me on the road, and get me laid (white chicks only please). But if no, then please at least TRY to stick to the things that make you GREAT...not the things that make you RICH.

In short: FUCK THE FUCKIN RHYMES!

[The Jays]

Make sure you post the responses from them.

[diceisgod]

I'd surely & gladly do that ya know, but obviously I have about as much a chance of getting a response as if I were to instead scream my messege into an electrical socket or out my window.

[diceisgod]

Here's another tale to demonstrate the "two-way" of this whole spamming racket. A day or two ago I get a friend invite form some person called "Crabby". I send a quick note through ms:

Subject: Who are you
Body:
?...Please.

That is, where would I have seen/read you (a msgbrd, what's your sn?, etc..) or where/how have you found me and this page?

Will gladly add you unless you are a spammer or a wanker.

-DIG

I fuigured it was some fucking porn spammer or some other bullshit. I went to the profile to check it out. It was set to "private" so that was fruitless. Howevver, I checked it out again and see this guy seems somewhat legitimate and not a total spamming imbecile: Crabby's Page

It looks like an intersting and worthy enough fellow to be on my f-list yet there is some doubt. I sent another follow up note seeing that my first message sit unviewed. I'm a bit annoyed:

Subject: Re: Who are you
Body:
Ok, so I see you now have your profile open for public viewing & reading. With that, you don't seem to be a spammer. That's a start & good.

Howvever, if you don't fucking notice or maybe even READ my messages (and maybe even reply, heaven forbid - however minimally) you are still questionable in the "wanker" category in my mind.

Are you too much of a Bigshot or just retarded when it comes to rudimentary myspace surfing, computer skills, and common courtesy?

Please let me know "you really care" when you finally figure it out, as having reviewed your page and writings, I would like to have you on my friends list. You seem to have some brains if not 1st grade level computer literacy. Otherwise, I respectfully decline your f-invite. You have 48hrs to comply and, if need be, go spring Reggie Hammond out of prison to help you find your fucking inbox.

Regards,
DIG

We'll see what happens if anything I guess.

[diceisgod]

I thought this deserved more than a "one and done" thing on my part. So I hit his blog entries up a bit and this is the final nail in the coffin:

12. This Crabby fellow will get comments other than "Oh you're wonderful!" and also a friends list comprised of more than just soccer moms & retarded cheerleaders.

Call me Nostradamus or Santa Claus as the FIRST part of my prophecy above just came to pass (right here in fact). The second part is up to you. You see, YOU spammed me FIRST with a Friend invite (I'll bet you didn't even do it yourself...some lackey or other jerkoff that does your bidding). However, I don't know you but you want me to be your "friend" apparently? Therefore...

It's 'damage control' or 'just fuggetaboutit' time for you, guy. As I don't just blindly add friends and I especially don't allow SPAMMERS & the apparent 'local soccer mom blogger hero asswipe' on my very elite list of "friends", you have the following choice:

Either read my emails (ie here on myspace in response to your spammed friend invite), read MY blog, and either pretend you knew like it, me & did before spamming me, "friend".

OR

Fugetaboutit. I ain't got no minivan but I do actually like your work here so far even despite all the times I had to repress my gag reflexes at all the mindless & lazy adjulation & "crabbycakes" comments I've read...ugh. So as you might read in my emails....

48hrs. Period. After that and inactivity & apathy, I choose for you and fuck you and never fucking spam me again, cock.

Deal?

That all said, I wish you the very best for '08 and will spare you my prediction (and the obvious conclusion) of your continued obscurity & z-celeb status. Better luck next year!

Regards,
DIG

[diceisgod]

Crabbing > Fishing

I finally get a rise outta him but still no straight-forward answer to my MAIN question. I stirred the pot a bit more after my so-called final post (above) and thought it amusing to reply to some jerkoff who had himself replied to one of "Crabbycakes" blog entries regarding some gay e-feud w/ some sweetassed supermodel chick or whatever. He was "hacking on" this poor dumb & perfect looking & rich as shit gal and so I started "hacking" on him.....Billy the Kid style (<<that's a deep DEEP movie ref by the way).

As a result, I must have said something "right" this time because he, Mr. Crabbycakes himself, came out of hiding to take a poke at me. Still, I can't get a good read on him as to whether I might have a new "Friend" or not:

Posted by: Some Random Jerkoff (editted most of it out - go there and read it if interested):

See, now there’s a class act. Few women would have the courage to be photographed with “plumber butt”

I think she is a wonderful role model for young women everywhere.

Posted by: DIG

Whoever she is she's hot as hell. Nobody would admit this but they'd (as sure as acid-reflux stricken bulimics puke) sell their friggin' souls, minivans & even the little soccer ball stickers on the back to trade places with her - not to mention throw in the 1 or 20 smelly screaming brats in the backseats AND their blue-collar beer-belly belcher... for nothing.

She might be a pontificating, insipid, dizzy, dopey, self-aggrandizing twit, but she's got....and most do not.

Personally, I'd cut off 4 of my fingers if God would let me fuck her. So I ain't exactly "sitting pretty" but at least I understand this. Moreover, I got bigger fish to fry than mocking some shit for brains, glorified prostitute with a great body and her e-feuding with my grampa's old WWII war buddy with a wrinkled & decaying body.

So I say, leave the poor gal alone and stop being jealous. Or don't...as I don't really care about her in the least other than that whole cutting off fingers issue.

Regards,
DIG

Posted by CC:

Yeah, you seem like a busy motherfucker, what with the page long comment and all.

Good thing you didn't waste your precious time hacking on her.

Good thinkin, slick

Posted by: DIG

Your welcomed for that "page long" comment, crabbycakes. I might have tried to "hack on her" but she wouldn't even notice either because she is too stupid or she has better things to do. But you on the otherhand....gottcha and you know it.

There's always a bigger fish...or crustacean.

-DIG

Posted by CC:

Yeah in the grand scheme of the universe it's silly.

That's the point. So did you read my stuff yet?

Spamming is really a detestable practice by the way. BUT I would like to have you on my f-list. BUT BUT I'm no fanboy so if someone ain't gonna at least visit me regularly (however infrequently) and take a look at my blog and what I do, then I ain't interested in them.

Either way, I dig you but that don't mean we have to be each other's Best Men. "F-list" can be interpretted in many ways and however "silly" it is...that's cool by me...as I said that's my deal but it ain't "fuck around & be lazy about it" silly.

The Internets is serious business! So please let me know and if you want me to piss off I will...until spammed again.

-DIG

Posted by CC:

Nah you were ok, you had a point

Posted by DIG:

I'm still OK and will be still in 5 minutes. So what?

What's the deal? Are you gonna at least pretend you will read my blog and let me add you as a friend or are you gonna be honest about it one way or the other?

-DIG

[diceisgod]

I think I enjoy this little sparring match & bust this guy's balls so much because he's a fucking Canadian. Not sure though. BUT I will get an answer....or I won't. That's the way I see it. Bickity Bam:

I'm still ok by the way, CC, if you wanted to know. About 24hrs are left on the f-list-countdown. As I said, I'd like to be on yours and have you on mine but there is just one trivial matter awaiting just very minimal & trivial effort & action on your end.

Can't you just be honest and say you don't give a fuck about me, my blog, and will NEVER EVER look at it? Or say: you looked at it and it's shit and I have no interest in it and in fact no interest in anything at all beyond my own work and subsequent drooling comments of praise of that said work? Is this too much to ask of you? Is it such a risky venture on your end? Or are you just completely oblivious to anything other than a "I love you Crabbycakes!" or whatever tripe there is to see after you hit submit, the soccer fields finally clear, the PC's booted up, the kids fed & tucked in, and the dildos lubbed down?

In all seriousness, it's a simple & fair question/request and if that's seriously too much to swallow then I think I can read between the lines...ie lines comprised of an index finger & a ring finger. You KNOW I'm fun, funny, insightful, and probably the best kind of responder to have on your "side" - and further THE BEST that you have ever seen or ever will. Can't you make just one trivial gesture that might be a step above a passive: "Yeah thanks, you adoring retarded fan of mine and here have a lil shoutout TY comment bone and get on the ball and promote my ass off to all your retard friends and tell their retard friends the same and so on" and so on? I ain't asking you to fucking beg me. It;s simple and fair and easy. It's a step above SPAM and that's what seperates the men from the Nigerian/Bolivian spoofers & hackers. Think BIG. Think DIG.

So what's the score, Jose? We got product to move and I drop it into the hole as fast as FedEx. I'm free of charge too.

Best Regards,
DIG

PS. About 23 hrs and 53 minutes left now.

[diceisgod]

So it's as they say... Just Like That...Woooo....

I chooooose biz-ness eth-ics....


SPAM Anthony Cumia and Underlings

Subject: Doug makes death threat - the PM's I saved of that....

....would probably be real useful if that was true what I wrote up there I'll bet. Anyway, I have nothing to do with nor know nor even could fucking recognize that Doug swine. Further I do not endorse nor get enjoyment upon hearing about his antics, his bullshit, or anything that that board of his or any other "satelilite" o&a" boards might be up to (as I destroyed the ones I was a part of years ago...I didn't want to...but I felt I....owed it to them...). But alas there are others that come along and litter THE board (ie MY board... ie my current board...ie the respectable board etc) that I AM still part of & they bring tidings of such dramas & total crap that I care less than nothing about.

HOWEVER with that said and being a genius, I decided this might be a good oppt to get your attention & respect finally (Iron Sheik, old country style) and if you seer this and read it and are impressed with the btrilliant tactic maybe you will also see the previous spams attempts below which I've forwarded. Please check out my stuff on my myspace page as well (myspace.com/DIGRULES).

If you know genius when you see it, hire me or at least plug my page on air. I could write circles around any schmuck you got there now I bet. Further I give you benefit of the doubt in assuming that you CAN indeed recognize genius and might prefer concentrating on evaluating, recruitting, & getting REAL friggin talent on your electronic broadcasting show and on your team moreso than dealing with dickwads and their frivolous lawsuits (even though I always thought that FBP girl was a snotty twat...but most broads are so no big deal or surprise).

Regards

[The Jays]

Oh you're no fun. That one had no teeth.

[diceisgod]

Moderation, my man. That subject line and opening sentence is even more brilliant & genius if it's not fettered or outshone by any subsequent "flash" and "teeth".

I got this shit all under control ova here. Have for years.

[The Jays]

The subject line is really good, but I was hoping for some meat in the message.

[diceisgod]

I "politely" insulted just about everybody under the sun in that email. Ya can't call everybody cocksuckers & motherfuckers ALL the time under EVERY circumstance. Besides I really do want the guy to plug my site but obviously I ain't gonna "sell out" to do it. Ain't one "kiss ass" line up there. In fact, that up there is "My Baby" as I love it so so much.

I will now kiss my biceps soon after pushing the "submit" button in this here post.

[diceisgod]

I guess I got someone's attention if not the main target. One of the Foundry swine got back to me and I guess he's not amused nor willing to help my cause:

unsubscribe

I'm crushed and my dreams are shattered.

[diceisgod]

Well, well, well. How'd I miss this guy? Either way, fate's on my side as MLK Day and this are kinda coincidental however trivially and insigniciantly and irrelevantly.

SPAM Black Laz (I hope...)

Subject: So-called Affirmative "Blacktion", Jesse Jackson, & Marsellus Wallace ...We can top that shit

Body:
Jesse Jackson & other various HNIMFCAACP's ordered me to invite you to my friend list here or they'd have the so-called Al Sharpton come to Philly and speak...and JUST speak and that's all...that's torturous enough to all within so-called earshot.

So so-called bullshit aside though, I didn't recognize you on GS's f-page and f-list at first or I would have spammed you before in the beginning. Sure, you can't write worth a fuck but you could probably kill someone with a stern enough glance and if that didn't do it... a good running start that sets-up a bone cracking cock-whip right to the base of a sucka's 5th vertabre most definitely will...I doubt I could even give anyone a fucking concussion even if I threw 10,000 acorns into a cannon and shot them at someone point blank at the back of their friggin head.

Therefore & further, since I understand the power & utility of having such "wimpy whitey writey" skills and specifcially have the understanding that - though trivial, racially skewed, & overall afro-oppressive - such "principles" of this so-called written English so-called language helps..and if used properly can propbably be turned back on and used to seriously hurt the white menace. Further, I also know that that alone will NOT fill my closet with any $1K suits...like the one you got on right there in your pic there with that $40 cigar too.

Basically, I need a few scary looking white-people-haters on the DIGSpace LexCorp Team. First, there was the Million Dollar Man Ted DeBaise & Virgil and then there was Shane McMahon & Booker T.

Once DIG & Black Lazarus hit the scene...not a fucker in the so-called world will even blink. But that's just the idea...we're a surprise...they'll never see us comin'.

Whatchu think? So send me a f-thing if interested and once I get...BOOM you're there and moreover we can exploit each other to our own ends...or maybe it's really not nor ever will be that so-called earth shaking. But you never know until you so-called try.

Regard,
DIG

PS Loved you in Pulp Fiction and if you are not Black Laz then let me know how much $ will allow me to keep my wicked life and sorry about the mix up...

[diceisgod]

The only thing that gets me is: Why the fuck doesn't EVERYBODY do this?

SPAMMING is fun!

[diceisgod]

Neither Dana White or Mark Cuban have contacted me for my terms of employment yet. Therefore, we must join our enemy at Sherdog:

Subject:
My UFC 82 Preview Picks
Body:
Mike,

Check out my UFC article on my blog. We're useless to each other if you don't like my stuff. I ain't friend list filler.

Thanks,
DIG

Here's the preamble:

"I'm 7-5 overall which is at least above .500 at worst not much better than a coin toss. Though that's exactly what it is, but at least we can try to make informed choices in picking these damn fights. So I make sure to watch the weigh-ins, get a good look at how in-shape they seem, and get a feel for the "hungry" look in their eyes. It's also useful to take a peak on Sherdog.com and see their records, their notable wins & loses, and how it is they won & lost.

With all of these excuses out of the way, I proceed but first comment that this entire fight card is relatively stacked at least with respect to "notable" or recognizable fighters. What the outcomes for each will be, I believe will also set the stage of their careers as to whether or not they will be "notable" moving forward. Lastly, I will count each and every prediction for each fight instead of just my usual 4. Maybe that will help my abysmal record or maybe expose me as the total ignoramous I really am."

The picks on on my myspace home page....easy to find. Thanks again!

[diceisgod]

Hey what do ya know! This guy's ok it seems. Unlike that Gerbasi schmuck, that UFC stooge of a head writer they got. That's why he's gonna be on the outs as his irrelevance and lame "news" stories persist. These Sherdog guys, at least this Sloan fellow anyway, he's got his head and his ass squared up pretty good. Sherdog ain't the be all and end in MMA for no reason.

Crud. I wish I would have opened my mailbox BEFORE UFC 82. Oh well... I am totally useless

Mike