I'm pretty sure my roommate is dead

[PollyannaFlower46]

He shoulda just shit himself when the cop pulled him over...

Not be be all talking about poop again...but that excuse so totally works! I got pulled over a few years ago when I first got my license (when it was still my probationary period) for speeding down Knapp Street in Brooklyn. Freaked out that I would get my license revoked I told the cop that I had eaten Red Lobster for dinner and had the most awful stomach cramps as was afraid I would go in my pants....he looked at me horrified and said "Eww...just get home safe...and don't let this happen again."