08-28-2002, 05:06 PM
There was this guy living on my floor my freshman year of college named Randy. He was a little shit that no one liked, low self esteem, didn't shower often, typical dorky freshman guy. So one Friday, a few of us are drinking, and this guy starts getting hammered. It's like 4:00 pm and this guy is totally rocked. Bear in mind he's not a fun drunk, more of the Asshole, annoying, pity-me drunk. So he gets railed and runs out to the front lawn and starts yelling about how he can't get a chick. He bitches at the top of his lungs about how he can never find a girl who likes him. Then, to top it all off, he begins yelling at full volume "I WANT PUSSY, I WANT PUSSY, I WANT PUSSY!"
We tackled him, dragged him back inside, and threw him into his room where he proceeded to pass out.
OK, sorry for the back story, but it helps you realize how much we had it in for this kid.
So, that night, we decide to play a prank on him (oh, I forgot to mention this guy never had sex before...it's kind of important). So we sneak into his room when he's drunk, throw a condom wrapper on the floor, and spray some perfume we got off my girlfriend on his bed.
When he wakes up the next day, we say our friend Elliot from St. Elizabeth's (commonly called St. Easy's) brought some girls by, and we tell Randy that he woke up, started talking to one of the slutty girls, and then she went back to his room with him. We said we heard some moaning, and then she left about 20 minutes later.
This guy freaked out, he initially didn't believe us, but as time went on, he started to really think it happened. He got so pissed because he felt he missed his first sexual escapade because of how drunk he was, and he was worried about getting a disease from the slutty chick. It was one of the saddest and funniest sights I have ever been priviledged to see
One of my friends girlfriends eventually told him the real story, and he never talked to our group again
We tackled him, dragged him back inside, and threw him into his room where he proceeded to pass out.
OK, sorry for the back story, but it helps you realize how much we had it in for this kid.
So, that night, we decide to play a prank on him (oh, I forgot to mention this guy never had sex before...it's kind of important). So we sneak into his room when he's drunk, throw a condom wrapper on the floor, and spray some perfume we got off my girlfriend on his bed.
When he wakes up the next day, we say our friend Elliot from St. Elizabeth's (commonly called St. Easy's) brought some girls by, and we tell Randy that he woke up, started talking to one of the slutty girls, and then she went back to his room with him. We said we heard some moaning, and then she left about 20 minutes later.
This guy freaked out, he initially didn't believe us, but as time went on, he started to really think it happened. He got so pissed because he felt he missed his first sexual escapade because of how drunk he was, and he was worried about getting a disease from the slutty chick. It was one of the saddest and funniest sights I have ever been priviledged to see
One of my friends girlfriends eventually told him the real story, and he never talked to our group again
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Your pocket Bible will stop an assailant's bullet, but not before it passes through four innocent bystanders, a school-bus gas tank, and your genitals.
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Your pocket Bible will stop an assailant's bullet, but not before it passes through four innocent bystanders, a school-bus gas tank, and your genitals.