When I was a kid, a molestor lived on my block

[GonzoStyle]

when I was like 8 or 9, I was out one day and it was getting pretty late so I started to head home. I decided to go to the corner bodega and get a soda and some candy before I went home. As I approach the bodega it's pretty dead outside cause it was fairly cold I remember but there was this old dude standing around. He was pretty large and had on a long trench coat with one of those frenchie hats, so I knew he was not from my hood.

So he approaches me and he I see his face, I thought it was ron jeremy at first, (yes at 8 I knew who ron jeremy was, I was an early bloomer in the porn video world, though I had no clue what they were really doing... ok this a whole other story now..)

So he comes up to me and starts talking to me and asked me if I would like to have 50 dollars, and he pulls out some cash. Now I see he has some dough and plus he looks pretty drunk to me so I don't think anything of it and I figure i'll roll the bum for his money. So I says yeah what do I have to do for the 50?

He asks me if I think he's attractive, I said yeah real hot.

Then he says he thinks i'm a cute girl... I said yeah all the boys think so.

So he starts grabbing me by the arm but I squirm out and say "hey, the money first"

He starts giggling and telling me to just come on home with him and he'll pay me there, so this is where I now get kinda nervous. I had to think quick and I saw the dude in the bodega was kinda peekin out at us from that little window they have where they sell the papers and such.

So I am more worried about the dough than my own safety still. So as he grabs my arm, I start yelling like a stuck pig and crying for help. The spics all run out from the bodega and they all knew me since I was a baby, I said that he took my money and then tried to take me home and touch my no-no place.

They beat the fuck outta that old man and I got my... well his money. He had 70 bucks on him and I feasted like a king on soda and candy for weeks on that dough.

Good times.