Today I am going to tell a humorous lie

[Bloody Anus]

The other day, he mentioned something about almost qutting, then about an hour after he left, called me at work, woke me up, to ask me not to tell anybody about what he said. Then another hour later he called again to ask me what he called to tell me about earlier. I told him that he told me that he was a homosexual. He laughed at first, then I was like 'no, I'm serious', and hung up a few seconds later. He never called back.