Tonight i'll make my family regret their decision

[GonzoStyle]

PART 3:

So now its like 9:30 and we've all pretty much grown tired, hungry and bored.

They finally turn on the kareokee machine and tell everyone to sit down the ceremony is gonna begin.

The groom comes out and he doesnt even have a best man, he just walks out and stands there. Then the bride comes out, she walks out wearing what used to be a white dress when I see her I can't help it and break out in a laugh and everyone looks at me and give me the shh sign while others just nod there heads but there were some who giggled along with me.

I say it used to be a white dress cause this thing was so old and filthy that it was now more of a almost beige dirt color. It's not a family hand me down like her mothers gown or something it was just an old dress she musta got at the salvation army or something, the amazement just grows.

Now she is walked down by her father and just as the groom has no best man she has no bridesmaids, its just becoming more and more pathetic. Now they are side by side before the rabbi and standing under the hoopa, usually the hoopa is a very big deal but not to "the family" the hoopa is made of plastic and instead of flowers it has leaves.... tree leaves... old yellow tree leaves....

Which reminds me, they had a flower girl... the flower girl had no flowers, guess what the flower girl had? come on...... yes the flower girl had leaves!!!!!!

I see the flower girl and I was in too much of an awed state to say anything but then I manage to put a couple words together and not yell but say loud enough "holy shit, its fuckin leaves!!!" That gets me a slap in the shoulder from a woman next to me to which I say, "touch me again and the weddings gonna be followed by a funeral". I showed that 90 year old woman!!!

So they get through the ceremony which took like 2 minutes and there was a smattering of applause.

Then they turn on the boom box and people woulda danced if there was maybe some room to move around or maybe... if there was a fuckin dance floor!!!

So I reach into my pocket and I forgot to give them my gift so I went over to the bride and hand her my envelope, she lets out a sigh when I walked up and said "yeah glad to see you too" and she manages to say "hey" and I say "heres my gift, I really put thought into it and it comes straight from the heart" and she shoves it into her little bag with the other envelopes, I was so hoping she'd open it but to no avail.