11-08-2005, 07:50 PM
The first time I technically had sex was when I was 17, two weeks before I was about to leave for college, and my gf of 6 monthes decides she's gonna reward me by letting me take her virginity.
So, I decide to plan it out. I had a backpack full of candles, condoms, some soda, and a blanket, and we were gonna have a candlelit spread on the beach while we made passionate love. She had brought along some massage oil which gets warms when you breathe on it and it tastes like coconut.
Now, it sounded great in theory.
In practice:
1) End of summer = plenty of bugs to still bite you.
2) Sweet coconut smell attracts bugs and sand.
3) Sand gets kicked up by wind
4) Sand sticks to everything wet or oily.
5) Penis = too big for small unused vagina
6) Sand on condom as big penis attempts to enter vagina
That night sucked.
The first night I really had sex, was my first night out at the college bar. I picked up some chick, got her in a cab back to her place, and BAM, I definatly had sex. I even walked back to my dorm, 4 am, roomates still up, and announced proudly "I JUST GOT LAID."
So, I decide to plan it out. I had a backpack full of candles, condoms, some soda, and a blanket, and we were gonna have a candlelit spread on the beach while we made passionate love. She had brought along some massage oil which gets warms when you breathe on it and it tastes like coconut.
Now, it sounded great in theory.
In practice:
1) End of summer = plenty of bugs to still bite you.
2) Sweet coconut smell attracts bugs and sand.
3) Sand gets kicked up by wind
4) Sand sticks to everything wet or oily.
5) Penis = too big for small unused vagina
6) Sand on condom as big penis attempts to enter vagina
That night sucked.
The first night I really had sex, was my first night out at the college bar. I picked up some chick, got her in a cab back to her place, and BAM, I definatly had sex. I even walked back to my dorm, 4 am, roomates still up, and announced proudly "I JUST GOT LAID."