I think I'm dying

[Suzie]

What a miserable day. I partied WAY too hard last night. I must be getting too old for this shit. I have to stop going out on weeknights, I just can't handle it. When will I learn to control myself? Getting to work on time is not enough to make me a responsible adult if I can't think straight while I'm here. I am so Damn tired. The first thing someone at the office said to me was, "You look like you're having a hard morning." And that was before I dripped cream cheese down my front. I think I just dozed off while sitting on the toilet.

This hungover lament was brought to you by Magner's and Baccardi.