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Best excuse, ever..
#1
So my wife's aunt married this guy in the military.
He's done tours in Iraq and Afghanistan and this May he got shot in the arm while searching a cave in Afghansitan.

Now that he's home and all healed up, everytime someone gets on his case he's all like, 'Hey, I got shot in the arm'. Or when someone asks him to pass the salt he says, 'I would, if i hadn't gotten shot in the arm'. Today we were throwing wood in for in-laws and he showed up, he said, 'I'd help you but I got shot in the arm'. He does it jokingly but he's still got a pretty good case. I wish I'd get shot in the arm by an enemy of freedom.
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