Here's to Customer Service...Suckin MY Dick

[diceisgod]

I think I may have out-did myself this time - I used some old material, but I think it was necessary, that aside if I could blow myself as a reward I would, the subject line I think pushed it over the edge:

Subject: ATTN: ExcaliburFilms Employee: CEO involved in a serious issue, Please read

Hello there! I hope all is well there in Guatemala or Bolivia or whereever
it is you're based.

Now that I got your attention - I lied about the CEO thing by the way, did
that piss you off, sunshine?- I have been desparately trying to get
resolution to a problem, and as you read on you will see just how desperate
that is and what lengths I'm now willing to go through to get up an ass over
there and get what I want. It's very simple and I'll let you untangle the
forwarded emails - which are below and there are few - for your fookin
selves, to figure out what my simple, simple request is and part of this
wonderful tale your company has been part of and indeed the inspiration. For
this has indeed been a customer service tale that has been most eventful and
if things don't get resolved soon, I promise you they will get much more
interesting. I'm smart. Real smart. So smart that when my fingers hit the
keyboard, atoms fookin spilt, mushroom clouds take root in fookin
schvinters. So, my predicament and yours explained now......

You my friend are on a sinking ship. ExcaliburFilms is a disgrace to the
industry and business practice in general. I hope you can fix my problem
(figure it out, smart guy) and respond to me in 24 hours or less. I am not
finished here in my determination to get someone's friggin attention there.
I found an email for a Jacob, using google, and it appeared to go through
(first one below). Now that I know the possible convention of your company's
emails, I'm going to rip off the Top 100 most popular names list (easily
found on the web, try searching for popular baby names), attach your
company's URL to the top 25 (for both boy's names and girls names- that's 50
emails total for you math genuises), and fire them off EVERY F00KIN DAY
until something gets through to someone, someone who is not a moron such as
those attending to customer service through your pathetic website. I expect
confirmation of the receipt of this tirade you made me do and also assurance
that your filthy pig company will not get a dime from me. THANK YOU,
SWEATHEART!

Best Regards,

Just WOW is all. So EVERYDAY they get my 50 emails. I'm luvin it!