The Greatest Practical Joke in History - Part I

[Galt]

This has been going on for two months, so I'm not going to post this all in one blast.

This will be like the Serials of the early days. Now, the first part isn't probably going to be very interesting, but it sets up the later parts...

A little background:
<ul>
<li>When I lived in Boston, I used to live with two guys: Cesar and Lee.
<li>Cesar moved down to NY about six months before I did. Funny guy; trying his hand at stand-up part time; but is always trying practical jokes. Lee is his favorite target.
<li>Lee went to college with Cesar. He just broke up with his girlfriend of 5 years (also his only girlfriend and only girl he's seen naked)
<li>Lee now joined Match.com; like a fool, he forwarded his profile to Cesar to proof read, give ideas, so Cesar created a fake profile (named Sydney Mullen) and sent and started to hit on Lee.
<li>This started in November, and tenatively has a January 17th completion date. Below is the first part of the email chain. Reformatted so it can be read from top to bottom sequentially.
<li>Cesar grabbed some random picture off hotornot.com and said it was Sydney. Some 5'5" white chick who is jewish (like Lee)
<li>I cut out some stuff in between his intro and the rest, right now it's an 11 page document
</ul>
-----Original Message-----
From: Lee
To: Fake Girl Sydney
Subject: Match.com Message: Hey radiogirlboston
Date: Wed, 19 Nov 2003 14:04:04 -0600

Thanks for the email and the compliment about my smile. It’s always nice when you get an unexpected email when you’re bored at work. It’s even better when there is a picture of a pretty smiling at you from the email. Ok, so that last line is slightly cheesy but I felt it was appropriate. I have no beef with stalkers unless they to be men and than I might have an issue with them. Are you trying to stalk me?
So let me go in to my little intro about me. My name is Lee. I am a network administrator (this means I have a boring job working with computers) for a company in Lynn. I work for a shoe company that sells Annie Klein NY, Kate Spade, and Michael Kors shoes. Do I get some bonus points for that? Also I am not the John Wayne type. I love watching movies. Listen to music. My taste in music is diverse but similar to yours I think. I like going to bars and hanging with my friends I don’t mind going to a club or going dancing every once in a while eventhough I can’t dance well.

So do I get to hear more about you my fellow Allstonian?

Lee

P.S.
You could start with a first name.
------------
<ul><li>Here's where I cut stuff out. They talk over email. He talks about how he's going to Amsterdam, when she writes it she writes "Amsterdan". He gives her his number unprompted, but doesn't ask for hers. He tries to meet up with her; they finally have plans to meet at a local place. "Sydney" cancelled at the last minute. She said she was sick.
</ul>

-----Original Message-----
From: Sydney
Sent: Thursday, December 11, 2003 4:00 PM
To: Lee
Subject: RE: The guy from Amsterdam
Lee, I’m terribly sorry about this, but I’m a little under the weather tonight and fighting a cold. Do you mind of we re-schedule? I definitely want to meet you, but I prefer to be 100%...first impressions are everything .
I’ve been to Tonic a few times with my girlfriends, and really like it there. That sounds like a great idea. How is your weekend looking?

Once again, I apologize.

Sydney.

-----Original Message-----
From: Lee
To: Sydney
Subject: RE: The guy from Amsterdam
Date: Thu, 11 Dec 2003 17:52: 01 -0600

Hi Sydney,

No problem about rescheduling getting together. I don’t have any solid plans for the weekend. Let me know when your ready to make that first impression and we can setup a date.

Hope your feeling better,
Lee


-----Original Message-----
From: Sydney
Sent: Monday, December 15, 2003 2:23 PM
To: Lee
Subject: RE: The guy from Amsterdam

Hi Lee, how was the weekend?

Mine was relatively uneventfully. I’m pretty much over my cold, but that pretty much killed all of my plans. A lot of TV watching and soup was had.
So, we on for Thursday? It doesn’t have to be anything too big too big, maybe just coffee.

Looking forward to it?

Sydney
-----Original Message-----
From: Lee
To: Sydney
Subject: RE: The guy from Amsterdam
Date: Mon, 15 Dec 2003 15: 22:02 -0600

Hi Sydney,
I am glad to hear that you’re feeling better. My weekend was not that exciting either. I watched the pats and went to a small party Saturday but that was about it. Thursday sounds good baring any sudden health issues. Coffee or drinks are both fine with me. I am looking forward to meeting you in person. Since it’s been about three weeks since we first made plans to >meet.

Lee
-----Original Message-----
From: Sydney
Sent: Monday, December 15, 2003 5:49 PM
To: Lee
Subject: RE: The guy from Amsterdam

Lee,
I didn’t think that was funny. I’m sorry I got sick, but I don’t appreciate your insinuations that I lied. That is not cool
-----Original Message-----
From: Lee
To: Sydney
Subject: RE: The guy from Amsterdam
Date: Mon, 15 Dec 2003 17:41:59 -0600
I wanted to send another email just to say I didn’t think you lied to me about being sick (figured 2 good emails would make up for one miswritten 1). I thought you felt bad about canceling and I wanted to try and say it wasn’t a big deal but my email seems to have had the opposite affect.

Again I am sorry,

Lee
-----Original Message-----
From: Sydney
Sent: Tuesday, December 16, 2003 2:15 PM
To: Lee
Subject: RE: The guy from Amsterdam

No problem, all is forgiven. I apologize if I overreacted, but you caught me in a particularly weird mood. Trust me. I’m normally as easygoing as they come. Let’s start anew. Looking forward to Thursday by the way. Any ideas where to out? How about dinner? Ever been to Capital Grille, Top of the Hub, or Sonsie? The food there is great!

Sydney
-----Original Message-----
From: Lee
To: Sydney
Subject: Dinner
Date: Tue, 16 Dec 2003 18: 11: 58 -0600
Hi Sydney,

I am glad you decided to give me another shot. I will try to keep from inserting my foot in to my mouth again. Thursday still is good for me. Around 8 pm would be good.
Now for the hard part.....I don’t want to have you get the wrong idea again from an email but I think the 3 places you listed might be a bit much for me on a first date. I don’t mind going all out on a date but I think a first date is not the place to do that. Dinner is fine with me but
I think I would be more comfortable at a place more low key. Soho or Tonic have a nice mix food and drinks. If you would rather forget about the whole thing that is fine also I definitely understand. Just let me know one way or the other.

Lee


-----Original Message-----
From: Sydney
Sent: Wednesday, December 17, 2003 12:28 PM
To: Lee
Subject: RE: Dinner

Lee, Tonic is OK with me. It’s just around the corner from me, so that works out great. I’m sorry if you take this the wrong way, but I feel the need to respond to your second point. I merely threw out those restaurant names just to mention that the food is good there. That was it. You asked for suggestions, and I gave you a few. I don’t understand why you felt the need to blow it completely out of proportion, or insinuation that I’m just looking for an expensive dinner. Frankly, that was somewhat insulting. I would have split the bill with you. You have not even met me and you are already labeling me and giving off a rather pompous attitude. I hope you are not like this in person.

Looking forward to tomorrow. What time is good for you?

Sydney

-----Original Message-----

From: Lee
To: Sydney
Subject: RE: Dinner
Date: Wed, 17 Dec 2003 12:40:02 -0600

Does 8 pm work for you?

Lee
<font color=white>



Edited By Galt on 1072722226

[HollywoodJewMoses]

capital grille is good stuff.

[Keyser Soze]

i was literally laughing out loud at the last 4 emails. Please keep us abreast of new developments. I would be interested in developing this into a reality tv show where friends play practical jokes on unsuspecting friends.

[diceisgod]

You live with a jew? That's disgusting. And Cesar sounds like a darkie name.

[IrishAlkey]

Yeah, these are great.

I wanna' meet Cesar.

He has this guy on the ropes.

[Galt]

Part II has been completed, but will be released tomorrow.
I will be getting Part III in email tonight and I will reformat
Part IV is in development and actually requires a production team

[IrishAlkey]

I say this joke ends up in a suicide.

[Keyser Soze]

thats only fitting

[Galt]

Cesar is dominican.
At one time in my life. I lived with two jews and a muslim.

[Keyser Soze]

Two Jews, A Caucasion, A Muslim, and a Pizza Place. Thursdays on ABC.

[diceisgod]

Dominicans that don't play baseball are criminals. Jews are all together evil.

[Galt]

he does play baseball (just not professionally). You're not going to hear any debate on the yid thing.

[fbd]

this thread is just begging for a certain story of a cat litter box...

[Galt]

go for it. No idea what you are talking about.

[fbd]

i cant tell the story...its one of an incredible practical joke that gonzo pulled once. hopefully he has it saved somewhere

[Keyser Soze]

uncle gonz has so many great stories.

[Galt]

If weren't so secure with myself, I would have totally taken credit for this.

One of you can at YMB

[Goatweed]

that litter box tale really is hilarious.

[The Jays]

This joke better get better in part deux.

[Bland]

I bet Cesar is telling you all this is a prank while secretly hoping that Lee realizes that he will never get a woman and makes a grab for Cesar's cock. That is Cesar's secret wish.