My mailman tried to kill me

[Cunt-Twat]

it was so fucking scary!!

yesterday, my parents were out, and they came home and there was a 2ft. tall pile of mail on our front steps. so my mom brought in the mail, and she thought it was all ours, cuz our mail was on top. i began searching through the mail, and noticed that it was the mail for my entire side of the street. so i seperated the mail by address, and went to deliver the mail to my neighbors. when i got to the last house, i heard my mailman screaming "give me my fucking mail, it's a crime to touch other people's mail, jesus fucking christ give me my mail. how can you touch the fucking mail." and he was running up the street, but i already delivered his mail. as i was walking down the street, he layed down, and started to bang his head on the side walk cursing at me.
i'm ganna die, my mailman is ganna go postal on me tomorrow, it was really nice knowing everyone.

[PatCooper]

I wonder how he's gonna do it?

[Cunt-Twat]

my brother said he's ganna shoot me, my dad suggested the thrax!

[PollyannaFlower46]

Anthrax?

[Cunt-Twat]

yeah

[PatCooper]

my brother said he's ganna shoot me, my dad suggested the thrax!

It sounds like your family hired this dude to whack ya.
{:o}

[JIMMYSNUKA]

Anthrax?

No...thrax means a stale pound of bolagna.

DUH

[PollyannaFlower46]

I wasn't questioning what thrax meant, I posted that before I saw what CT had said her dad suggested...now I just look stupid :disappointed:

[JIMMYSNUKA]

now I just look stupid

dont worry my fellow tard......i have looked stupid from day 1.

[Arthur Dent]

as i was walking down the street, he layed down, and started to bang his head on the side walk cursing at me.

Did you grab the camcorder and tape it? Sounds like a winner for America's Funniest Home Video.

If this is serious, call the post office and report this guy. Before he goes postal. :thumbs-up:

[Sluggo]

How come none of this good stuff ever happens to me?

[crx girl]

the good stuff never happens to me either, i go to the bank while um, someone else goes to get cigarettes, i see a total of zero people, meanwhile, she gets groped in the gas station by some crazy chick

[Cunt-Twat]

If this is serious, call the post office and report this guy. Before he goes postal.

i told my parents to call the cops, but my neighbor watched him and made sure he got into his truck and left.
on a side note, my friend across the street told me that last winter he slipped on his side walk and laid there cursing until the cops came, i don't think he's stable! he hasn't delivered mail on sats in months cuz they're forcing him into early retirement, this was the first sat since before the winter that he's delivered mail.

[Danked]

The Irvington mailmen are on a rotation. Every 6 months to a year, we get a different person. Currently, we have some wackjob whom the previous mailman warned me about. Made him sound like Snuka-incarnate. He said that after work, he just sits in the parking lot for about an hour just staring menacingly at everybody. Everytime he comes in he tries to make some weird joke about the porno shop around the corner from my shop. "Hey, did you see the sign on the door over there? It says knock hard! Ha ha ha ha." I got this one around Thanksgiving - "I bet someone's getting stuffed today, hoo boy!" I've been hearing the same 5 or 6 jokes for awhile now.

[crx girl]

i don't think i've ever even seen my mailman

[Arpikarhu]

HA HA, you live with your parents!!!! loser!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Sluggo]

Maynard, comment?

[JIMMYSNUKA]

only way i would stick around with my parents is if they promised to make a little brother for me to viola...uhh i mean play with.

[Grumpy]

Head retard of the short bus said:
......i have looked stupid from day 1.

That's cuz you've had a 2 foot dildo up your ass and tried to convince people you were in the middle of taking crap and forgot to wipe. Why don't you lend that to CT so she can beat the mailman with it.

[JIMMYSNUKA]

i dont lend out my dildo sir. it was a gift i hold dear to my heart. it was the first "present" given to my from your mom. even after all the defiling i did to that dildo if you hold it close to your nose you can still smell your mom on it. ahh nothing like the smell of cod and curdled milk.