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You're not gonna believe what happened to me - Warning:This reads like porn

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You're not gonna believe what happened to me - Warning:This reads like porn
Suzie Offline
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#1
01-23-2003, 11:43 AM
So at 3:15 a.m. my doorbeel starts ringin ringin ringing. It's this cute blond Irish chick who tends bar at the pub around the corner. She wants to smoke pot cuz she'd done some coke and needed to crash when she went home soon to her boyfriend.

[BACK STORY: I wasted a whole night waiting for and getting drunk with this chick when she once promised to come home with me. When she got there we made out for maybe 3 mninutes and she passed out then I thought I truly know what it feels like to be a guy]

So she brings as many drinks as she can carry and I put on my new Jason Mraz collection. an hour and many bong hits later I'm already 3 drinks in and she's having brandy with port. She takes down her blouse to shoiw me a sexy Celtic tatoo and I decide to make a move. She's complaining her boyfriend won't often kiss her cuz she smokes cigarettes and it sucks cuz she could come in her pants just from kissing. So I say her boyfriend doesn't deserve her (guy line, right). Later she complains IF he kisses her when he finds out she already came before he goes down on her he makes her shower. I repeat the notdeservng part. She had to get home but not before I found out sahe wasbn't a natural blond.

Now I'm soaring and I have to ask: Is this stuff suypposed to hapeen to real peopl? Have to take a warm shower.
She invited me to watch Snatch at the bar tom nite and she's gonna be translating the wanker gypsy lines. Isn't that funny? tune in tomorrow....
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FNMoron Offline
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#2
01-23-2003, 11:49 AM
woooo-hoooo.... go suzie... :banana:
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Danked Offline
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#3
01-23-2003, 01:21 PM
:thumbs-up:
<center>[Image: t_googledanked_116.jpg]
Worst Message Board Ever</center>
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Teenweek Offline
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#4
01-23-2003, 01:38 PM
[Image: adu13.gif]
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Luna Offline
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#5
01-23-2003, 01:40 PM
:fucking:
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LZMF1 Offline
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#6
01-23-2003, 01:41 PM
post pics if you can :thumbs-up:

ok suzie?
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Hey Ladi Offline
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#7
01-23-2003, 02:04 PM
:thumbs-up: :banana:

yeah, & some details too

shaved? good kisser? smells like a peach?



Edited By Hey Ladi on 1043330921
<img src=http://images.andale.com/f2/115/104/6485603/1054786652163_heyladiRed2.jpg>

Do that voodoo that you do, so well ~>

HITTING BOTTOM ISN'T A WEEKEND RETREAT! IT'S NOT A SEMINAR! ONLY AFTER YOU'VE LOST EVERYTHING ARE YOU FREE TO DO ANYTHING! YOU SEE, YOU LISTEN, BUT YOU DON'T GET IT! YOU HAVE TO FORGET EVERYTHING YOU KNOW, EVERYTHING YOU THINK YOU KNOW!
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OAS Offline
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#8
01-23-2003, 02:15 PM
:bouncer: :bouncer: :bouncer: :fucking: :fucking: :banana: :banana:

And no, we don't make them shower. We just yell, AGAIN!! :bouncer: :bouncer:
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Keyser Soze Offline
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#9
01-23-2003, 02:47 PM
:loveya:
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Weird NJ Offline
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#10
01-23-2003, 03:05 PM
More stories please. Rolleyes
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SBB Offline
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#11
01-23-2003, 03:45 PM
Suzie = TeenSlut??
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Arpikarhu Offline
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#12
01-23-2003, 03:46 PM
this thread makes me glad to be alive :bouncer:
I love him. He's like those happy old people who become known for sitting by the side of a busy street and waving to passing cars. People drive by regularly and beep just to see him and get him to wave to them.

That's just like our Arpi... except he doesn't wave or anything. He just says mean things to you.


GonzoStyle Wrote:I pledge my undying love for Arpi, any retraction of this undying love is to be ignored.



Nominated for," 2005 poster of the year", by 4 out of 6 mods!
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Gooch Offline
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#13
01-23-2003, 03:58 PM
thread of the year material.
There are four kinds of people in this world: cretins, fools, morons, and lunatics.



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Enter Text to validate the ridiculous amount of time you spend online here. </center>
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Arpikarhu Offline
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#14
01-23-2003, 04:09 PM
reminds me of the time maynard came over to see my etchings. :loveya:
I love him. He's like those happy old people who become known for sitting by the side of a busy street and waving to passing cars. People drive by regularly and beep just to see him and get him to wave to them.

That's just like our Arpi... except he doesn't wave or anything. He just says mean things to you.


GonzoStyle Wrote:I pledge my undying love for Arpi, any retraction of this undying love is to be ignored.



Nominated for," 2005 poster of the year", by 4 out of 6 mods!
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Galt Offline
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#15
01-23-2003, 05:11 PM
This thread would be better if the grammar and spelling errors didn't make me think she was a 5th grade boy making it all up.
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OAS Offline
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#16
01-23-2003, 05:25 PM
If she is a 5th grade boy, I'm changing my preferences.
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The Sleeper Offline
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#17
01-23-2003, 05:52 PM
THAT STORY WAS SO AMAZING I DROVE MY CAR INTO A TELELPHONE POLE AND STARTED BLEEDING PROFUSELY!!!!
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HollywoodJewMoses Offline
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#18
01-23-2003, 06:10 PM
CAN I JERK OFF TO THE STORY PLEASE?!?
or do i have to IM you asking you permission?
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DGW Offline
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#19
01-23-2003, 06:27 PM
my guess is hitler mustache
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HollywoodJewMoses Offline
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#20
01-23-2003, 06:28 PM
good guezz
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