The Unofficial Opie & Anthony Message Board - Gonzo's Sick Sex Story: Gonzo & His Eggplant Fetish (Plus A New & Improved Sick..err i mean Sig Pic)

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The Unofficial Opie & Anthony Message Board - Gonzo's Sick Sex Story: Gonzo & His Eggplant Fetish (Plus A New & Improved Sick..err i mean Sig Pic)

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Posted By	Discussion Topic: Gonzo's Sick Sex Story: Gonzo & His Eggplant Fetish (Plus A New & Improved Sick..err i mean Sig Pic)
GonzoStyle	posted on 04-03-2001 @ 1:54 AM
Hanger-On Registered: Jan. 70	Now Old gonzo has a huge fetish that involved his favorite food, next to the fruit of a 6 year old philipino boy. Today's subject is Eggplants. Every time I am shopping at the grocery store I buy lots of large eggplants - for fucks sake man -I fill two or three shopping carts full. Then I take them home (the eggplants) and dress them up in little clothing items and whatnot. Then I place them around the kitchen table and play 'house'. My favorite eggplant has to be 'Juan' what a good little boy he is. when we are done eating our oatmeal or eggs. I pick the biggest one, yank the fucker up by the remaining vine, slap a fuckin 8 inch dildo and MAXX Condom on the bastard, hit it with two cups of canola oil and spend the rest of the evening trying to stuff the 'fukin whore' eggplant up my ass. The problem is - my girlfriend thinks this is slightly abnormal behavior, but then she likes for me to grease up those large turkey-fat-free-sausages or a plain old turkey baster and forcefully ram them up her cats pussy while she masterbates to old Clit Eastwoody movies: 'The Good, The Bad and the Fugly' for instance. Well - by God - at the same time she wants me to lick her piss-stained panty croth (bonus time is when she is on the rag or has a yeast infection)and scream" Jesus is a fucking Fag" and stuff like that . Then my mom wheels herself down the ramp and starts wanting me to eat her MS numbed twat while she shits in cellophane. Needless to say - the shit hits the fan. But sometimes i encounter a small problem: which is as follows : I can't bust a nut when a large eggplant is in my ass because my mom is shitting in cellophane and the cat is clawing my nut-sack to a bloody pulp. BUt still i rty to make the best of it. Unfortunaly 'Juan' my prized little eggplant boy, suffered an untimely demise. i forgot the fucker was in my ass and when i was taking a shit i felt a bit 'clogged up' now i know why. But poor 'juan' is floating in the resevoir by now. May his eggplant soul rest in peace. Have you come here for forgiveness Have you come to raise the dead Have you come here to play Jesus To the lepers in your head

Barney Fife	posted on 04-03-2001 @ 8:09 AM
Psychopath Registered: Oct. 00	This message was edited by Barney Fife on 4-3-01 @ 8:25 AM

Ronreddog	posted on 04-03-2001 @ 9:04 AM
O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00	God damn it Gonzo, must I be subjected to this first thing in the morning? Couldn't you post this around 5:00 p.m. for a laugh? I have said it before and I will say it again, you are one sick individual! ;) E-Mail Me

Joey BigArms I Need An Old Priest And A Young Priest	posted on 04-03-2001 @ 9:20 AM
O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00	Now do you change the eggplant when it becomes to soft or does that help you out? My Graduated Newbie: JasonFromRiverEdge

Buttmunch USA Autoban Head Slap... Swim Move...	posted on 04-03-2001 @ 9:37 AM
O&A Board Veteran Registered: Oct. 00	I was wondering what happened to my eggplant after the pool tournament... Chef Corpse Boyardee is bringing the food, don't worry! < On this day in 1860 the Pony Express began between St. Joseph, MO & Sacramento, CA

GrkqtOandAfan Claim staked by FTL.	posted on 04-03-2001 @ 9:39 AM
O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00	Thank you Gonzo so much for that DISGUSTING story, i think i am going to go throw up my Honey Bunches of Oats I just ate for breakfast. But then again, Your topic title does say it was sick, so i really shouldnt be complaining. But ewww man, ewww! "What are we going to do about this? "OA.com Where the men become boys and the women are play toys"

Sephiroth	posted on 04-03-2001 @ 10:21 AM
O&A Board Regular Registered: Dec. 00	Thanks Gonzo. I can always count on you when my morning Coffee doesnt do the trick. Damn, i thought the sale on eggplants was next week at A&P. "In my veins courses the blood of the ancients... I am one of the rightful heirs to this planet!" "What I have shown you is reality. What you remember, that is the illusion."-Sephiroth "Jesus Christ buddy, you are WHITE! Do you live underground or something?"- Vos Have any anime questions? E-Mail Me or IM me at AIM: Hitokiri182 Go to foundry Chat, home of NUDE TEEN Chatters I am Master Shredder....I am Ninja Master NEWBIE UPDATE-Austin 3:16 is training hard, but Kill Em All has gone AWOL. If you see him, tell him to report back to base Immediately!!

Drunk Boy	posted on 04-03-2001 @ 11:10 AM
O&A Board Regular Registered: Sep. 00	Gonzo, IM me later and we can debate which is better: White Eggplant or Purple Eggplant. I think I may have a new trick to show ya! Who Wants a BEER? CantHandleMyBooty and TankGrrl24 are my Newbies!!

Rog2K	posted on 04-03-2001 @ 11:34 AM
O&A Board Regular Registered: Jan. 01	It's good to know I'm not theonly one who enjoys a good vegitable (both garden and invalid) now and then... as for Juan, can I assume he a was a 9 year old philipino eggplant? *Don't hate me because I'm beautiful...*

Froy King Shit board owner	posted on 04-03-2001 @ 11:56 AM
O&A Board Veteran Registered: Feb. 01	Please...a moment of silence for Juan.... ::bows head:: ~Matt/Froy from Jersey Official Protector of Gay Marco & SwampJunk...if he ever decides to post.

TheGooch Mullet Master Yo Gooch, Moron here... how's that for some fucked up shit... Fez is giving you status... Karma sucks, huh?	posted on 04-03-2001 @ 12:12 PM
O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00	And another for the eggplant.

Just Jon	posted on 04-03-2001 @ 2:29 PM
O&A Board Regular Registered: Aug. 00	poor, poor Juan the eggplant.... ----- E-mail: JustJon@opieanthony.com Adoptee: Delta Sigma Phuk Ups You listen to me! While I will admit to a certain cynicism, the fact is I am a nay-sayer and a hatchet man in the fight against violence! I pride myself in taking a punch and I'll gladly take another because I choose to live my life in the company of Gandhi and King! My concerns are global. I reject absolutely revenge, aggression, and retaliation. The foundation of such a method...is love. I love you, Sheriff Truman.

GonzoStyle	posted on 04-03-2001 @ 2:44 PM
Hanger-On Registered: Jan. 70	ooh you guys i know i can always count on you fr support. Thanks to the letters that number in the well zero's, and the donations of ummm about 19 cents i think we can find a new 'juan' and hopefully he will be as ripe yet soft as his original. I thank you all for the condolences for my great loss. At the anniversary party i will be sure to bring 'juan' and we will drink a toast to the dearly departed. Have you come here for forgiveness Have you come to raise the dead Have you come here to play Jesus To the lepers in your head

Banana_juice	posted on 04-03-2001 @ 3:06 PM
O&A Board Regular Registered: Jan. 01	quote: I thank you all for the condolences for my great loss. At the anniversary party i will be sure to bring 'juan' and we will drink a toast to the dearly departed. so not only is it an eggplant fetish,, it is also necrophilia.. proud graduate of Newbie University. Honor Student of Lord Magus's class. E-Mail Me

FukMeBoobs	posted on 04-03-2001 @ 3:23 PM
Psychopath Registered: Feb. 01	Hey Gonz I have this ripe yet soft eggplant that came from my garden. It is the eggplant of eggplants. His name is Hector and I'll bring him along to the anniversary party. He is a real hottie too and even chalks up a conversation! I'll introduce the two of you if you like and who knows, maybe I made the match in heaven. IM me if you want his number. Care to stick your hot dog in between my buns? This message was edited by FukMeBoobs on 4-3-01 @ 3:30 PM

KeeKee	posted on 04-03-2001 @ 4:46 PM
Psychopath Registered: Sep. 00	quote: The problem is - my girlfriend thinks Did anybody else see something wrong with this sentence or is it just me
GonzoStyle	posted on 04-03-2001 @ 4:53 PM
Hanger-On Registered: Jan. 70	quote: Did anybody else see something wrong with this sentence or is it just me hey crypt keeper i meant as in just a friend who i do favors for. Have you come here for forgiveness Have you come to raise the dead Have you come here to play Jesus To the lepers in your head

KeeKee	posted on 04-03-2001 @ 4:57 PM
Psychopath Registered: Sep. 00	Thank you GS that puts everything in perspective now
Sean Cold 3:16	posted on 04-03-2001 @ 6:00 PM
Hanger-On Registered: Jan. 70	I think what we really need to give a moment of silence to is Gonzo's sanity! He finally has gone and lost it! Juan the Eggplant? My fuckin god, this guy has been to my house for fuck's sake! No wonder my fuckin cat has a limp now! Fuckin tuna oil! And Gonzo, the next time you are here, please keep the fuck away from the veggie draw in the fridge! Thanx! And Thats The Bottom Line..... E-Mail Me Did you kill your father, sleep with your mother, idolize your sister, were you jealous of your brother, did you kick the dawg, were you beat with a strap,were you really abused or were you faking all that? TOO TENSE!! Please do me a favor if I ask and fuckin' kill yourself!

Displaying 1-19 of 19 messages in this thread.