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| Posted By | Discussion Topic: Royal Rumble Review From ESPN.com | ||||
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| Sir Okonkwo | posted on 01-23-2002 @ 4:28 PM |    | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Jun. 01  | Written by Bill Simmons. A few highlights: "8:26 -- It's time for another WWF tradition: The crappy women's title match! Tonight we have newcomer Jazz (who looks a little like Don Cheadle in drag) against champion Trish Stratus (about 10 months away from her first Cinemax movie)." "9:21 -- Whoa, the referee got knocked out, which means 'evil referee' Nick Patrick came in to take over the match (he's against all good guys). I would make a joke here about how other sports should adopt the 'evil referee' motif, but the NBA has been doing that bit for years. How do you think the Knicks made the 1999 Finals?" "The Rumble is the equivalent of garbage time in the NBA -- everybody gets to play for a few minutes." "Every few years, one of the early entrants somehow lingers until the end as the announcers make him seem like the wrestling version of Kellen Winslow in the '81 NFL playoffs. Great ploy." "Lance Storm (considered a 'good technical wrestler,' loosely translated to mean 'we haven't thought of a gimmick for him yet' -- he's greeted by dead silence from the crowd)." "9:55 -- In a shocker, a newcomer named Maven (the winner of the MTV reality wrestling show 'Tough Enough') dropkicks Undertaker out of the ring and eliminates him. That was a 'Duke over UNLV in '91' caliber upset. I'm not kidding." "(Or is it 'hoes'? 'Ho's'? Does the AP Stylebook cover this?)" "10:22 -- Here comes Triple H, his first pay-per-view since suffering a serious leg injury last spring. The crowd goes legitimately nuts. Not only is Triple H one of the few genuine WWF stars, not only did he dump Chyna for Vince's daughter in real life (what an upgrade!) ...but he's so jacked that it looks like he's wearing one of the old Hans and Franz costumes." "(Important note: Nobody beats a good thing into the ground quite like the WWF, another reason the product is struggling right now. If the WWF were a female college student, they would wear a cute red sweater to a party one night, receive a few compliments on it, then wear the same sweater every night for the next six months.)" "Remember my old Table Test, how something either brings something to the table, brings nothing to the table or takes something off the table? The 'What?' chant takes just about everything off the table, including plates, silverware and salt shakers. Just excruciating." Click here to read the whole article. | ||||
| prototype | posted on 01-23-2002 @ 4:48 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Aug. 01 | This guys about as funny as Stern what a tool. USA Bin Laden is a dead man Free Northern Ireland | ||||
| Francine Banger | posted on 01-23-2002 @ 5:51 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Dec. 00 | I thought he made some good points. Except for the Knicks 1999 Finals comment.  | ||||
| WhackBagKid TALK TO ME, GOMEZ. HE WHO IS #1. | posted on 01-23-2002 @ 6:06 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Sep. 00 | i read this article yesterday on espn.com's page 2 i thought it was a pretty good article  White Hoochies, Always Good | ||||
| OAAWITE | posted on 01-23-2002 @ 6:12 PM | | |||
| Hanger-On Registered: Jan. 70 | This guy is without a doubt the best writer on ESPN. He's absolutely hilarious. Plus he's from Boston, so not only does he cover all the Boston teams meticulously, but he also knows the pain we have all suffered for our entire lives.  | ||||
| Hello! Hello! Diamond Dust! Hello! | posted on 01-23-2002 @ 6:16 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Feb. 01 | This guy does know his shit about wrestling and sports in general, but he should calm down on the comedy shtick. He's about as funny as Rich Vos giving birth to an AIDS baby. And after that last joke, maybe I should calm down on the comedy shtick too. Otherwise, he has some good points, some ok points, and some "huh?" points. He only slipped up on a couple things like calling a Rock Bottom from one announce table to another a chokeslam (which is a pretty damn bad mistake) and the like, but that's the best you can expect from a mainstream article. All in all, he seemed fair and not overly cynical, making his criticism points more valid than if he went on a tirade like SOME like to do (nobody on this board of couse hehehehe) and the criticism I DEFINITELY agree with him on is that making two main shows is a problem for the WWF that they've had ever since Smackdown went on the air, which is why I'm REALLY looking forward to the split. HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLO! | ||||
| TheShocker | posted on 01-27-2002 @ 12:08 AM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Dec. 00 | Cripes, whose bed did he wake up on the wrong side of? And what species of badger was up his ass at the time? The  hocker | ||||
Displaying 1-7 of 7 messages in this thread. |