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 Displaying 1-25 of 27 messages in this thread. |
| Posted By | Discussion Topic: Smokin' weed, smokin' weed, doin' coke, drinkin' beers... | ||||
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| Sir Okonkwo | posted on 03-21-2002 @ 4:10 AM |    | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Jun. 01  | Hi. The following is not an opinion. It is FACT. Please, do not bother responding that this is my opinion, because it is not. It is knowledge that has been passed down from the gods of wrestling to me, The Prophet. The problem with this country is that everyone thinks their opinions are as important as anyone else’s. I bring news o’ ye followers. Opinions are the opium of the masses, and the masses are morons. Read some philosophy. All the great minds agree that you are not as smart as they are. There are two rules about opinions. 1. Your opinions don’t matter. 2. Your opinions are wrong. So, without further ado, I bring you the Bible of Wrestling. FACT I To view wrestling at its finest, much like aged Cognac, I ask you to soak up the body of work of the following performers. 1. Toshiaki Kawada 2. Mitsuharu Misawa 3. Ric Flair 4. Dynamite Kid 5. El Hijo del Santo 6. Chris Benoit 7. Jushin Liger 8. Kenta Kobashi 9. Jumbo Tsuruta 10. Ricky Steamboat 11. The Destroyer 12. El Satanico 13. Ted Dibiase 14. Bruiser Brody 15. Dory Funk Jr. The list by no means ends there, that is just a starting point to your education. FACT II Hulk Hogan is the devil. Do not be swayed into joining his sinfully evil cult, whose followers are tricked into believing immobile, steroid-riddled clods are entertaining. Repent sinners! It’s never too late to turn away from the dark side. Hogan is accompanied by the Dark Four: Ed Leslie, Jim Duggan, Brian Knobbs, and John Tenta. They are doing his bidding. A child leads the new generation of this cult. Paul Wight, aka The Big Show, is the new wave of Hogan’s evil ways trying to suck in a whole new generation of children, like so many pied pipers. FACT III The Rock’s punches, belly-to-belly suplex off the ropes, people’s elbow, sharpshooter, spinebuster, swinging neck breaker, and Samoan drop are not good. He is not a good wrestler. His promos are repetitive. Although people think he is good at promos, it is a common foible. His promos are looked at as good because people repeat his lines. To this I say, “See Pavlov and his dog.†The bell is chiming ye pack of dogs, now DROOL. FACT IV Caesar was told to “Beware the Ides of March.†I tell you to beware the Clan of McMahon. They are vultures who picked clean the bones of a once great, diverse and prosperous industry in the United States. They spit on history and twist it, like so many teenage nipples in the backseats of cars, to fit their own evil doings. I tell you to beware the Monotone Siren, Linda. She will put you to sleep and leave you open to attacks. She will captivate you with promises of pure gold, only to leave you with a hand full of feces. Beware Shane for he will speak to you in enchanting tongues like “Boo-ya†and “Pops,†but do not be fooled. He is trying to draw you in. Beware the Narcissist (damn it, not Luger). She is known as Stephanie. She will try to torture you into submission with horrendous and loathesome stories about dogs being hit by cars, toxic face lotions, and shampoo commercials. She will appear wherever you look, for she cannot stand not to be the center of attention. Unlike Medusa, the mirror will not kill her, but instead will draw her in. Remember this formula and you will survive; AIDS and Anthrax are to Cancer as Greg Gagne and Eric Watts are to Stephanie McMahon. Then appears Vince McMahon, or Nero, as he is standing on the proverbial balcony playing his violin, aka Jim Ross, as his Rome burns. He has released a disease. A three headed beast known as Sports Entertainment. The heads are as follows: Less Wrestling, More Promos and Skits, and heavy doses of the McMahon Family. Beware of him most of all. Do not turn toward the beast. Doing so will lead you down the path of wrestling despair. If you do enter the land of WWF, in the words of Dante, “Abandon hope, all ye who enter here.†That is all for now. Bask in the knowledge and follow the light. You are closer than you know. Until then, refer to me as The Prophet. :cool:This message is by no means meant to be taken seriously. Please, if you do take this the least bit seriously, seek help immediately. You need it.  FTL is not to blame for this abomination of a sig pic. | ||||
| Stoned Again | posted on 03-21-2002 @ 9:17 AM | | |||
| Hanger-On Registered: Feb. 02 | Shut up and go to Indy shows if you want real wrestling. Some of us simple minded Americans actually enjoy the meaningless story lines and drama. There is one thing worse than seeing Stephanie and wreslting, its all these people complaining about it. Talk about repetitive.  | ||||
| hornygoatweed I've Got A Vagina With Teeth. G.O.O.F.B.A.H.G.S. Dragoon Battalion My friends call me Weed | posted on 03-21-2002 @ 10:36 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Jan. 01 | quote:AKA The WWA of the XWF - take your pick. quote: quote:If you don't like the complaints, don't reply to them. Obviously most people here (and on other boards) don't care for her on-screen appearances, as well as her storylines - deal with it. Her funbags are nice but like everything else, when you see them too much it gets boring.  You can reach me through AIM or email. Feel free to contact me if you have any board questions, techie (PC) questions, or even if you just wanna chat.
This message was edited by hornygoatweed on 3-21-02 @ 12:30 PM | ||||
| Cluster F | posted on 03-21-2002 @ 11:36 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | Can you publish this "bible of wrestling" so that i can burn every page of it? Just think of what you couldve done with the amount of time it took you to write that piece of shit. 1. You couldve come up with a better nickname than "the Prophet" 2. You couldve cried uncontrollably into your hands when the realization hit you that you are not in Japan anymore. 3. You couldve put a gun in your mouth and pulled the trigger. :) All these ideas much better than what you did with the time, in writing this movel that means shit to most people here (other than se7en and hydrated peach of course). Go Knicks, Giants, Rangers, and the 2002 World Champs: New York Mets Long Live Psycho Bitch This message was edited by Cluster F on 3-21-02 @ 11:41 AM | ||||
| burning in a lake of fire | posted on 03-21-2002 @ 12:18 PM | | |||
| Hanger-On Registered: Mar. 02 | mega dittoes when it comes to weight loss, subway sandwiches go hand in hand with AIDES | ||||
| TeenWeek what's a status? | posted on 03-21-2002 @ 12:28 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | Sir O, no one gives a flying fuck about those slanty eyed faggots except you and s7ven. This is not hard to comprehend. If you don't like the WWF, don't fucking watch it. Criticism is fine, we all do it, but you downright hate the product and everyone in the wwf. No one cares  | ||||
| General Woundwort | posted on 03-21-2002 @ 1:03 PM | | |||
| Hanger-On Registered: Oct. 01 | The Prophet or Gobbledygooker? | ||||
| Hello! Hello! Diamond Dust! Hello! | posted on 03-21-2002 @ 2:08 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Feb. 01 | Hey Sir O, are the words you put on the subject heading the title of the post or what you were doing when you came up with this mindfuck of an idiotic post? And they say Scott Hall and Eddy Guererro have problems. This message was edited by Hello! Hello! Diamond Dust! Hello! on 3-21-02 @ 2:10 PM | ||||
| HyBriD FN Moron is an indian giver!! I had my cool status for about 10 min. then it was gone. GONE! G.O.O.F.B.A.H.G.S. Agent WD40 Licensed to Kill My spoon is TOO BIG. (finally) Hanger-on to the JYDs for LIFE I INVENTED ORANGE MOTHERFUCKER This status is sponsored by: P®oJë©T M@¥hέm | posted on 03-21-2002 @ 3:51 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Sep. 01 | quote:i know who he is!  | ||||
| CrinkleCrinkleVictim | posted on 03-21-2002 @ 4:11 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Dec. 01 | El Hijo del Santo ? Are you sure you saw him wrestling in a ring? Or wrestling with a state trooper while trying to crawl under a fence into Texas? | ||||
| Sir Okonkwo | posted on 03-21-2002 @ 4:59 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Jun. 01 | The experiment was a success. FTL is not to blame for this abomination of a sig pic. | ||||
| rageparty 123...Not so bare anymore since I got a number underneath my name again I also have an imaginary girlfriend. | posted on 03-21-2002 @ 5:17 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Aug. 01 | If you don't like wrestling, then why do you keep watching it? Why do you even post here if you hate wrestling so much? | ||||
| HydratedPeach So... how did you get your spiffy new status? Age-Challenged Sexual Tension Relief Worker | posted on 03-21-2002 @ 8:09 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Jul. 01 | quote: You mean you had doubts?  | ||||
| Bloody Anus P.L.F. Portugese Liberation Front- Liberating Status' everywhere from the Tyranny of Portugal HYBRID THINKS I'M A GENIUS | posted on 03-21-2002 @ 9:51 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Jul. 00 | I completely agree. Except for some of that list. I know it's a partial list, but where is Ultimo Dragon? Great Sasuke? Tiger Mask? Hayabusa? To name a few. I too despise what the WWF has done to WRESTLING which, too, is why I turned to puro and their product which I personally enjoy much more. Because what I love about wrestling is, well the WRESTLING and more specifically, WRESTLING MOVES. Which is also why I do NOT like Ric Flair. It's not because he's too old, it's because he doesn't do any moves. Bodyslam, vertical suplex, belly-back suplex, occasional superplex, figure 4. That's about the extent of his arsenal. If I forgot anything, then it's probably nothing worth remembering in the first place. Certainly not a powerbomb or dragon suplex or a fishermans buster. And the chops don't count, it's equivalent to a kick/punch. Oh, also his great "flip over the turnbuckle to the outside apron" and of course the "climb to the top rope just to get bodyslammed off". Yes, I know wrestling is fake but when somebody has been wrestling for 25 years and does the same thing in every fuckin match, it gets very old, very fast. Which helps explain why I listed the wrestlers that I did - they give you something different in every match, move-wise. For that matter, I'd throw in Tazzzzzzzzzz and Perry Saturn to that list too. Now you may say that Flair carries people to good matches. So what? The same could be said for HHH. Or Austin. I don't think it makes them good wrestlers. Case in point: A few years ago I rented a WCW PPV from 1990. There was a Sting-Flair match on it. A couple days later on Nitro, there there was a Sting-Flair match. Both matches, separated by about 8 years, were, to a tee, exactly the same!! One move led into another, same move, into another sequence, in both matches. Yes, some Ultimo-Liger or Sasuke-Liger matches are similar, but the key word is similar, not IDENTICAL. Bottom line: FLAIR = OVERRATED! Of course these are just my opinions, which are wrong and don't matter.
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| HyBriD FN Moron is an indian giver!! I had my cool status for about 10 min. then it was gone. GONE! G.O.O.F.B.A.H.G.S. Agent WD40 Licensed to Kill My spoon is TOO BIG. (finally) Hanger-on to the JYDs for LIFE I INVENTED ORANGE MOTHERFUCKER This status is sponsored by: P®oJë©T M@¥hέm | posted on 03-21-2002 @ 9:59 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Sep. 01 | sir o is still cool. | ||||
| Harry Ballzanya | posted on 03-21-2002 @ 11:33 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: May. 01 | sir o..thats your opinion -------------------------------------------------  | ||||
| Sir Okonkwo | posted on 03-21-2002 @ 11:46 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Jun. 01 | Damn you Bloody Anus, you're rooning my fun! ;)quote:Well, I could have listed so much more. 15 just seemed like a nice number. And if you'll notice, Misawa is on that list, so I technically have a Tiger Mask on there. Just not Satoru Sayama. :P On the subject of Flair, while I don't consider him the best ever, he's definitely one of the best. Granted, he never had an extensive moveset, but what sets him apart from the pack has always been the fact that he's a master of ring psychology. In wrestling, I'm a firm believer in "it's not what you do, but how you do it," and very few did it better than Flair. Consider a guy like Nova, who can do a billion moves but knows dick about wrestling psychology. Would anyone ever say that Nova in his prime is better than Flair in his prime? I will agree that there is a Flair Formula to most of his matches, which means you're guaranteed an excellent match almost every time out, but can become rather repetitive. The same could also be said of Shawn Michaels, who used pretty much the same formula (underdog heel gets worked over for most of the match by larger/more dominant bayface, comeback using cheat tactics leads to finish). So yeah, you're pretty much gonna see the same few things in almost every Flair match (I won't agree that his matches are all carbon copies though), I guess whether or not you see those things as good things determines your overall opinion of Flair as a wrestler. With that said, the toss-into-the-corner-over-the-top-land-on-the-apron-clothesline and the get-caught-on-the-top-rope-press-slam always irritated me too. Another point to be made is that Flair is one of the best bumpers and sellers ever. He'd get into the ring with young, inexperienced wrestlers like Sting, Lex Luger, Nikita Koloff, and Kerry Von Erich, and make them look like world beaters in carrying them to the best matches of their careers. For most of his career, stepping into the ring with Flair meant instant credibility, and he probably created more stars just by selling their offense than anyone else in wrestling. Finally, in his prime, Flair was wrestling nearly every night, twice on Sundays, and usually the matches would go 30-60 minutes. During this time he rarely missed a match due to injury, and all this after breaking his back in a plane crash and being told he'd never even walk again. You gotta respect that. FTL is not to blame for this abomination of a sig pic. | ||||
| rageparty 123...Not so bare anymore since I got a number underneath my name again I also have an imaginary girlfriend. | posted on 03-22-2002 @ 12:36 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Aug. 01 | Wrestling isn't all about the moves, the pop in the crowd has to be there. If you are a heel you should be cheap. You should lean on the ropes for pins sometimes, talking smack to the crowd. You have to use your character too. A good match has to have some emotion in it, not just all moves and the ref raises the victors hand after the match. Thats what Sports-Entertainment is, so when you say you despise the WWF for what they did to wrestling, you have to remember that the WWF is barely about wrestling anymore, there are promos, run-ins etc. | ||||
| Sir Okonkwo | posted on 03-22-2002 @ 1:02 AM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Jun. 01 | quote:So Lucy the Dog touches your emotional side? El Hijo del Santo's heel turn is one of the most emotional things you'll ever see in wrestling. Damn Mexicans nearly rioted... FTL is not to blame for this abomination of a sig pic. | ||||
| rageparty 123...Not so bare anymore since I got a number underneath my name again I also have an imaginary girlfriend. | posted on 03-22-2002 @ 1:06 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Aug. 01 | quote: Yep :D | ||||
| Sir Okonkwo | posted on 03-22-2002 @ 1:15 AM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Jun. 01 | quote:I shall refer you to a line in my original post: quote::cool: -The Prophet FTL is not to blame for this abomination of a sig pic. | ||||
| rageparty 123...Not so bare anymore since I got a number underneath my name again I also have an imaginary girlfriend. | posted on 03-22-2002 @ 1:18 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Aug. 01 | Your opinions are stupid -Rageparty :) | ||||
| Sir Okonkwo | posted on 03-22-2002 @ 1:24 AM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Jun. 01 | Got that one covered too:quote:Oops, wrong one. quote:Yeah, that's the one... :cool: FTL is not to blame for this abomination of a sig pic. | ||||
| rageparty 123...Not so bare anymore since I got a number underneath my name again I also have an imaginary girlfriend. | posted on 03-22-2002 @ 1:29 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Aug. 01 | Your facts are stupid -Rageparty :) | ||||
| Sir Okonkwo | posted on 03-22-2002 @ 1:32 AM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Jun. 01 | Now you're starting to come around. Even you may one day walk the path of enlightenment. Do not abandon hope, young rageparty. :cool: FTL is not to blame for this abomination of a sig pic. | ||||
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Displaying 1-25 of 27 messages in this thread. |