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| Posted By | Discussion Topic: That's Entertainment! | ||||
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| Sir Okonkwo | posted on 05-07-2002 @ 1:38 AM |    | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Jun. 01  | It's not as much fun posting these as it used to be... WWEeeeeeee Raw They start off the WWE era with a horrible mid-90's goofy IYH-style promo with a woman "getting the F out" of the logo. No explanation as to why the company is now WWE. "I am the World Wrestling Entertainment Champion!" That sounds SO incredibly wrong. The main event for the night of Ric Flaie, Stone Cole, and Bradshae against the nWe is announced. Trish is up against Jazz and it's only thirty seconds into the match before Ross accidentally says "World Wrestling Federation" before correcting himself. I suspect it won't be the last time someone makes that mistake tonight. Bubba does a run-in and the crowd is surprisingly hot for his Dusty Rohdes-esque antics. No wonder the WWF had to put an "E" in the name of the promotion. Now Raven is out and wins the title. Now Justin Credible is out. See what I mean? Here comes a non-ECW guy in Crash Holly and he's champion now. Now Trish. Oh for fun. I hope this never ends! Trish gets Godfather's Ho'd through a table. Richards wins the title. Bubba picks up Trish and carries her out and gets a standing O for "doing the right thing" as Ross said. If only the real world worked like this -- date rapists would be hailed as heroes as they carried their unconscious "dates" out of the bar. Big Show and the nWo are out now. Big Show keeps referring to the fans as "little" -- as if that's an insult and we all wish we were as slow, lumbering, and obese as you Big Show. Show says two years ago he was in the main event of WM. At first I thought he was just playing the crazy heel gimmick but then I realized he really was in that match. Show says he is a "real-life fire breathing giant." If he's inhaling that much smoke then no wonder he blows up so quickly. X-Pac is amusing in his Kane mask. Flair says he wishes he had the gifts God gave to Big Show. Perhaps in the year 3000 mankind can invent a word that properly describes how ridiculous a statement that was. Now that the WWE has "gotten the F out" maybe they can start an ad campaign for fans to "get the H in" to their "WOOOOO" signs. Maybe if they'd remember what the second "W" stands for I'd be finding this all very entertaining. Hall promises the big surprise. If it's not Steiner or Goldberg then who cares? Jesus Christ, how fucked have things gotten that I'm *hoping* Scott Steiner or Bill Goldberg show up? Regal is out so I guess it wasn't him that went for a wild pee party on the flight back from Ingerland. You just know the way things are going lately it was a good worker that went crazy and will be suspended and/or fired. Well Bret would be a surprise. HBK would be great. How about ex-nWo guys? Maybe it's Horace Hogan! I hear he's great now! Bah ... it's probably Snuka. Flair and AA segments now. I respect Flair and Anderson but with them, Hogan, UT, Vince and so forth being the focus of every show is it any wonder that the teenage audience has dropped by 50%? Lesnar is a "certified monster" according to Ross. I enjoy the idea of monsters having to undergo a rigorous certification process. The companion slogan to "getting the F out" is "new look, same attitude." Yeah that "same attitude" is the problem there JR. The fans chant "Goldberg" at Lesnar for the very first time that I've heard. I know he got those chants sometimes in dark matches but I can't recall it happening since he's been pushed on TV. Anything to do with word getting out about Goldberg being a free agent or just a coincidence? Hogan stole UT's bike. Is the bike going to show up on E-Bay now with Hogan posing next to it in a thong? Who would have thought a UT-Hogan face-off would be the best thing on RAW in months? Hogan stalling the bike was fucking priceless. The best part was when it seemed Hogan had finally quit trying to ride the bike and was walking backstage so they cut to Ross and Lawler babbling for thirty seconds and cut back and Hogan was slowly climbing the ramp on the bike as if he'd been slowly driving all this time. Nothing they could ever script would be as entertaining as Hogan's humiliation was tonight. Interesting finish to the tag match with the swanton/five star combo. Great reaction to them too. Could an RVD/Jeff Hardy backhanded "at least we don't have to actually elevate them" push as a tag team be far behind? Or does RAW not have any tag teams? Whatever. That would be even more of an anti-push. Terri is out showing her breasts. Nothing the young "puppy" loving demo loves more than watching grandmothers like Terri, Ivory, and Debra parading around their fake breasts. At least both Mae Young and the company knew she was a joke. Well truth be told I don't think Mae Young knew what the hell was going on. Still. This is another one of those really weird moments when the heel (Molly) is actually far more attractive than the face. Ross says Molly's swimsuit is like something his grandmother would have worn -- well why doesn't he just ask Terri if she'd ever wear something like that. Molly says Terri is dressed like a stripper. Couldn't agree more. Haven't we all been to a strip club with that one aging stripper that should have just quit twenty years ago and we eventually relent to their nagging and give them a pity lap dance rather than spitting in their face and getting your ass kicked by bouncers? That's Terri. They are teasing the Bradshaw turn. Maybe this is finally the Flair reverse switcheroo turn deal. Either way I'm thinking it's more and more likely not to be an actual good surprise. Hey if you entertainmatize the Big Show's name he becomes the Big Shoe. Heh... Big Shoe. Here an interesting question: See that WWE logo in the bottom left corner of the screen? Doesn't it just look weird? How long will it take us to get used to that logo or will we all have stopped watching long before we get used to it? Now UT's going apeshit backstage. It looked like he was about to give a double axe-handle to his destroyed bike. Hey it's Nash. Is that the surprise? What's the surprise about that? SUPRISE! WE LEARNED NOTHING FROM WCW'S MISTAKES! Yeah we already knew that, it's no surprise. I actually hope this match has one of those meandering Nitro non-finish deals. Do I actually have to watch this? Dear Lord there's at least ten minutes left in the show. Austin and X-Pac start off the match. Either of these two tag out and I'm going to the bathroom. I love the way Hall sells. Pure comedy. I'll take any entertainment I can find from the WWF lately. Wait I mean WWE. WWE. WWE. WWE. We all need to type it out a thousand times to learn not to type WWF by instinct. Either that or we all just carry on calling it the WWF. I tend to lean more towards the latter. Fucking panda bears. Big Show is in the ring with Bradshaw and this match is going nowhere. Show looks over at Flair and Austin on the apron. Hey Show, take a good look. One guy has a broken neck and his knees are shot; the other had a broken back and he's twenty plus years older than you. Both of them are in better shape than you have ever been, both have more talent in one fingernail clipping than you have in your entire overgrown body, and one random week out of either of their careers eclipses anything you have or will ever do in your entire career you worthless bastard. Well Flair turned -- I wonder if Shipmates is on?  Metal / Wrestling / Baseball Ninja / pr0n | ||||
| TeenWeek what's a status? | posted on 05-07-2002 @ 6:28 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | Hey, I agree, Raw blew. | ||||
Nay. We are but men. ROCK. The man with the plan. | posted on 05-07-2002 @ 6:50 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | You forgot one big thing... Nash showed up and just... disappeared. I suspect that he was too slow and/or too lazy to walk all the way to the ring, so somewhere in the backstage area he just collapsed and took a nap.  | ||||
| Sir Okonkwo | posted on 05-07-2002 @ 6:52 AM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Jun. 01 | quote:And this is why quote:I prefer anger and hostility. Your agreement with me is disturbing. Especially since I'm killing you in the fantasy baseball... Metal / Wrestling / Baseball Ninja / pr0n | ||||
| TeenWeek what's a status? | posted on 05-07-2002 @ 6:56 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | Sir O, after the horrendous show, last night, it is just hard to put up a fight. I thought I was watching WCW Thunder. :confused: One match was entertaining and that is it. The RVD, Jeff Hardy vs Booker and Latino heat. Was the only thing worth watching last night. Question, why did Brock Lesnar start a feud by destroying the Hardy Boyz and now he is wrestling Shawn Stasiak. Isn't that a big step backwards. This message was edited by TeenWeek on 5-7-02 @ 6:59 AM | ||||
| Sir Okonkwo | posted on 05-07-2002 @ 7:13 AM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Jun. 01 | FTL, Nash isn't too slow or too lazy. They have Regal for that! :-Dquote:He's paying his dues. You know, that silly idea that seems to be so important in the WW...WW...Vince's promotion. Brock's paying some dues, I guess. Metal / Wrestling / Baseball Ninja / pr0n | ||||
| TeenWeek what's a status? | posted on 05-07-2002 @ 7:36 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | Hogan driving the bike was pathetic. Does this main event for Judgment Day rank as one of the worst main events in WWF history. The hardcore title is about as repectable right now as when David Arquette won the WCW title. Guess Nash took a nap in the back and forgot to wake up. The NWO is as exciting as watching paint dry. The way is Raw is going, I may have to watch the series finale of Ally Mcbeal. It used to be I did not know or care whatever else was on Monday night's. Smackdown is losing the ratings but all the good angles are going on over there. HHH and Jericho, Angle and Edge and Kidman and Tajiri. Hey even brother Dvon's reverend slick impersonation is better than what is going on Raw lately. | ||||
| I swear it was this big Tussle King | posted on 05-07-2002 @ 9:46 AM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Mar. 01 | Wow, after that great review, am I ever glad I chose the NHL playoffs over RAW. ___________________________________________________________________ I'm bigger than the Devil combined with Schindler's list. Sig pic coming soon...kinda soon... | ||||
| TeenWeek what's a status? | posted on 05-07-2002 @ 10:18 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | Does anyone else think the whole Nash thing was a mistake by the cameras and Nash was just really arriving late. I cannot say one good thing about the entire show except for the RVD, Jeff Hardy tag match. The rest was awful and pathetic | ||||
| -GomeZ- | posted on 05-07-2002 @ 10:51 AM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Jan. 02 | If Hardy and Dam had pulled that Swanton/Frog Splash combination off a bit better it would have been cooler, of course I also blame Guerrero who totally fucked up by moving. Trust Me! | ||||
| Ferret | posted on 05-07-2002 @ 11:08 AM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Oct. 00 | quote: Is that how Brokaw says it? I'm convinced they had the hard core title change hands 5 times in a minute and a half just to hear Lilian pound "And the new WWE Hardcore champion..." into our heads. It sounds fucking ridiculous. They should have just kept it WW for World Wrestling (ie. World Wrestling Champion) or changed it back to WWWF like it was when Vince Sr. ran the show. Would have sounded much better. BTW--Sir O, since when is paying dues important to Vince?  | ||||
| Cluster F | posted on 05-07-2002 @ 1:53 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | Raw was pretty bad last night, but that bike stalling on the ramp was fucking classic. I was laughing my ass off along with 20 other people where i was watching it. Funniest part is when Undertaker is standing on the ramp, and after 30 seconds of stalling, he throws his hands up in the air and says fuck it. 1. 94 Wins and NL East Title by the Mets this year 2. Hate the Braves with a passion 3. All 5 Starters have winning records this year 4. Mets win World Series (optional) 5. Have Red Sox finish 10 games in front of the Yankees (optional) Crack Committee Members: Cluster F, Rageparty, Bloody Anus, DiamondDust, JayMohrMassage, HammerSavage, PeterDragon, and 1888RustyTrombone...the force is growing. I co-won the Super Bowl Challenge :) | ||||
| Hello! Hello! Diamond Dust! Hello! | posted on 05-07-2002 @ 6:22 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Feb. 01 | You know what's pissing me off about the WWE lately? This:quote: Normally, I'd be happy to read this, for it would mean, "OK, well, they realized it sucked and, well, that's all you can ask for after a show like that. Now, this means stuff will get done!" But you know what? Stuff WON'T get done. You know how I know this? Because I've read that too much lately. Infact, it seems I read it at least once a month, and I never see change. Let's face it, the key to the WWE's success is to completely change it's creative team, which means, basically, firing Stephanie McMahon as head writer. She has been head writer since about SurSer 99 by many accounts and that was the whole "Austin run over, Big Show takes his spot" debacle, and outside of a run of incredible wrestling(NOT storyline)-oriented programming for most of 2000 (they probably layed off being storyline intensive because Steph was new as head writer, but I'm betting they started letting her be the Russo of the WWF at around Wrestlemania 17 time, cuz then, the wheels just fell off as storylines became the main focus again), the WWF has been on a downward spiral ever since. She deserves to be outright FIRED, but that ain't happening with daddy as the boss. She needs to at least be released from that position, then. I mean, you read her past, and she studied ACCOUNTING in college, I believe! A head writer who didn't even get ANY training on, you know, writing for an audience! To make matters worse, I'm sure the WWE has quite a few accountants working for them, I'm sure she'd make a great head of accounting if Vince wants nepotism to rule his company. But nooooooooooo. Vince has to make his daughter the head writer, and what that means is that he's now in an unwinnable situation. He fires his daughter, his family life is in shambles. He keeps her, his business life is starting to go in shambles and it will only get worse. He made his own grave, let's see if his company sleeps in it or if he decides to do what he did when he took over the company and turned his back on his father's word, and he decides to tell his family to fuck off. We need, as wrestling fans, the early '80s Vince now more than ever. 1. 94 Wins and NL East Title by the Mets this year 2. Hate the Braves with a passion 3. All 5 Starters have winning records this year 4. Mets win World Series 5. Hopefully come up with a better name for the Crack Commitee than something the Mad Dog came up with. Come on! | ||||
| Se7en | posted on 05-08-2002 @ 12:53 AM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Oct. 01 | "WWE"? Retarded. I'll NEVER call it that, except with sarcasm. It just sounds so fucking GAY. And all apologies to the homosexual community, because being associated with the WWF is a far worse insult than the word "fag" could ever be. It's not fair to say that RAW was like WCW Thunder....at least Thunder would be good for a nice cruizerweight match or two. As for Steph - ain't nepotism wonderful? Witness the beginning of the Fall of Rome.  "Being a bastard WORKS." --Spider Jerusalem | ||||
Nay. We are but men. ROCK. The man with the plan. | posted on 05-08-2002 @ 8:11 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | Come on, Diamond Dust... Steph is a great head writer for the WW_! Who else could bring us such great angles as LUCY THE DOG, STEPH'S FAKE PREGNANCY AND WEDDING, or HHH VS STEPH (WITH CHRIS JERICHO) AS THE MAIN EVENT FOR WM X-8?! Okay, so that was all one big angle, but no WM main event angle should ever, EVER sound so fucking stupid. I personally can't wait for ENTERTAINMENTMANIA X-9! | ||||
Displaying 1-15 of 15 messages in this thread. |