05-03-2004, 07:37 PM
...I came back from the gym and heated up my left overs from last night. But alas, I had no forks left. So rather that going back down to the cafeteria, I decided it was time for a daring raid on the cube 3 down from me. Now I could easily go up to him and ask him for a fork, but wheres the fun in that. So I cued the MI music and was off. I crept along the side of my cabinet, cartwheeled across to the other side. I then crept along the militant angry black ladys cube. She proceeded to ask me what the fuck I thought I was doing, so I subdued her with a "Did you see the Huey Newton special on BET last night?" This sent her scurrying to the local TV listings spouting off about some conspiracy. 1 down, two cubes to go. As I crept along the "bi polar, schizophrenic, I talk too loud on the phone about my personal life and Im so fucked up I made my kid need to be medicated and carry a knife to school in her bookbag and I talk to myself at the copier" ladys cube, I knew this would be my toughest challenge. So I reached in the militant ladys cube and pick up her phone, dialing the nutsos extension, thus thoroughly distracting her from the work she was pretending to do and providing a clear path for me to army crawl past. At last, I was mere feet away from my destination. Now all that need be done is to distract the "Ay yo, why I aint gettin no promotions, is it cause you catch me on the internet bettin on the horses tree times a day" guinea and open his draw and retrieve my much needed fork. Lady luck was on my side, one of his goombas called him and gave me my opening to slide his drawer open and pluck my plastic utensil from a sure garlic and oregano hell. Now to make my get away. I did a tuck and roll back across the walkway and calmly walked back to my cube. Secure in knowing that soon, my hunger would be quelled. But peace would not be mine. There was one more mission to complete. Back to the microwave I must go. My lunch is cold. But I have to wait now, the boss is here talking some nonsense about stress management in the workplace and psychological evaluations.