07-17-2003, 04:17 PM
<b>This week's Letter to GIP comes from a guy who was willing to give the world to women, until he realized that women don't even know what they want. </b>
Dear GIP,
After studying "The System" over the past four months, I've come to realize, thankfully, how lost and confused I've been. I feel like the character, "Neo," that Keanu Reeves played in The Matrix. He had no idea that he was living in a trance-induced false reality until Morpheus showed him what the truth was. You, GIP, are my Morpheus.
I used to believe anything women told me because I wanted them to like me. I felt like I was always on the defensive and I would do whatever they requested to prove that I was a "good guy." But as I look back now with my defogged vision, it's obvious that trying to be nice never got me anywhere as far as true romance goes.
Even the dating advice I was getting from my well meaning female friends was misleading and contradictory. I'd follow their advice only to experience more rejection from the women I was dating.
Now I'm seeing the light, and as the light shines more brightly, anger is growing inside of me. There's so much hypocrisy out there!
Women say they want to be treated as equals yet they expect men to put their egos on the line and risk rejection. They whine and complain about wanting guys who are "emotionally available" and "in touch with their feelings," yet they consistently fall for the selfish jerks who never express any genuine tender feelings.
what's the deal?
I know that all of this is no news to you, GIP. I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate your reality-based, non-politically correct advice. You've catalyzed a profound awakening in my awareness. The next step for me is to get past all this resentment and find a sweet, loving woman who I have mutual High Interest in.
In the meantime, GIP, I was hoping that you could give me a quick pep talk to help me deal with this anger and resentment. I figure that it's probably just a stage that a lot of guys go through when they first start to wake up, so I'm sure you have dealt with this problem before. Any encouragement you can give me would be very much appreciated.
Some Poor Schmuck -- (who is really ticked off)
<b>GIP's answer</b>
Hey Schmuck,
As they say in 12-step programs, you've been in denial, dude, and yes, my brother, you are becoming deprogrammed and the process can be quite unsettling at first. Just realize that it's completely normal and natural to feel a lot of anger and resentment at this point in your journey to Mastery.
Here's what Schmuck needs to understand...
And as strange as it might sound, do not resist your anger. That's right. I want you to welcome it, all of it. Your anger and resentment are going to motivate you to stay disciplined and committed to doing the right thing and keep you from getting seduced back into your old self-destructive habits.
At the same time, you need to understand that you can't blame women for all your frustration. You've got to take responsibility for your own experience. There is no law that says, "You must obey the instructions of all women." You didn't have to buy into the big lie. You had a choice. So you're probably angry at yourself and at the entire female species. That's okay.
Schmuck, wouldn't it be a wonderful, brave new world if women started sharing equally in the risk of rejection involved in the dating process? Well, guess what? It ain't gonna happen. The way it is, is the way nature designed it to be.
The male is the initiator. The female holds the rejection card. (She has the veto power.) That's the way it is and that's the way it's going to be 100 years from now. So step up to the plate, Schmuck, and learn to love it. Once you gain more confidence in using my strategies and principles, you will become a lot more comfortable with the process.
And of course women do frequently choose jerks over the nice guys. But the woman who has the character traits that you want in a mate will want a guy who's tough and strong, and who's also genuinely sensitive and soulful on the inside. Your job is to just become the best man that you can be. Then you will magnetize a quality woman into your life.
So, Schmuck, don't take all the apparent female hypocrisy personally. It's just part of their social programming and the way the game is set up. So how do you deal with all of it? As my acupuncturist, Dr. Lao, would say, "The happy man, Grasshopper, lets the cold water roll off his back like a duck."
Remember guys; don't take women personally. Happy dating
Dear GIP,
After studying "The System" over the past four months, I've come to realize, thankfully, how lost and confused I've been. I feel like the character, "Neo," that Keanu Reeves played in The Matrix. He had no idea that he was living in a trance-induced false reality until Morpheus showed him what the truth was. You, GIP, are my Morpheus.
I used to believe anything women told me because I wanted them to like me. I felt like I was always on the defensive and I would do whatever they requested to prove that I was a "good guy." But as I look back now with my defogged vision, it's obvious that trying to be nice never got me anywhere as far as true romance goes.
Even the dating advice I was getting from my well meaning female friends was misleading and contradictory. I'd follow their advice only to experience more rejection from the women I was dating.
Now I'm seeing the light, and as the light shines more brightly, anger is growing inside of me. There's so much hypocrisy out there!
Women say they want to be treated as equals yet they expect men to put their egos on the line and risk rejection. They whine and complain about wanting guys who are "emotionally available" and "in touch with their feelings," yet they consistently fall for the selfish jerks who never express any genuine tender feelings.
what's the deal?
I know that all of this is no news to you, GIP. I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate your reality-based, non-politically correct advice. You've catalyzed a profound awakening in my awareness. The next step for me is to get past all this resentment and find a sweet, loving woman who I have mutual High Interest in.
In the meantime, GIP, I was hoping that you could give me a quick pep talk to help me deal with this anger and resentment. I figure that it's probably just a stage that a lot of guys go through when they first start to wake up, so I'm sure you have dealt with this problem before. Any encouragement you can give me would be very much appreciated.
Some Poor Schmuck -- (who is really ticked off)
<b>GIP's answer</b>
Hey Schmuck,
As they say in 12-step programs, you've been in denial, dude, and yes, my brother, you are becoming deprogrammed and the process can be quite unsettling at first. Just realize that it's completely normal and natural to feel a lot of anger and resentment at this point in your journey to Mastery.
Here's what Schmuck needs to understand...
And as strange as it might sound, do not resist your anger. That's right. I want you to welcome it, all of it. Your anger and resentment are going to motivate you to stay disciplined and committed to doing the right thing and keep you from getting seduced back into your old self-destructive habits.
At the same time, you need to understand that you can't blame women for all your frustration. You've got to take responsibility for your own experience. There is no law that says, "You must obey the instructions of all women." You didn't have to buy into the big lie. You had a choice. So you're probably angry at yourself and at the entire female species. That's okay.
Schmuck, wouldn't it be a wonderful, brave new world if women started sharing equally in the risk of rejection involved in the dating process? Well, guess what? It ain't gonna happen. The way it is, is the way nature designed it to be.
The male is the initiator. The female holds the rejection card. (She has the veto power.) That's the way it is and that's the way it's going to be 100 years from now. So step up to the plate, Schmuck, and learn to love it. Once you gain more confidence in using my strategies and principles, you will become a lot more comfortable with the process.
And of course women do frequently choose jerks over the nice guys. But the woman who has the character traits that you want in a mate will want a guy who's tough and strong, and who's also genuinely sensitive and soulful on the inside. Your job is to just become the best man that you can be. Then you will magnetize a quality woman into your life.
So, Schmuck, don't take all the apparent female hypocrisy personally. It's just part of their social programming and the way the game is set up. So how do you deal with all of it? As my acupuncturist, Dr. Lao, would say, "The happy man, Grasshopper, lets the cold water roll off his back like a duck."
Remember guys; don't take women personally. Happy dating
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