08-01-2003, 02:38 PM
Once upon a time, I sat in depression for a good year or two. Blew up to 400lbs. Became a workaholic. Got myself into credit card debt. I just let myself sink, and as I did, I just got more and more miserable. It is a dangerous abyss, and it can suck you down completely.
Luckily, I got myself out of it, and am happier and healthier. I have a few friends that have their bouts these days, AND I even have off-days as well, it's all about keeping balance as life pitches up and downward. But, I beginning to notice that my brother is starting to fall into that place I was about 2-3 years ago. And, this affects me to the core, b/c of several issues...one, I live and work with him, so it's not like I see him every-so often. I see him everyday. And each day I do, and when I actually am not preoccupied with my own shit, I am startled and concerned even deeper.
He is someone who got cancer at only 26 years old, beat it, but hasn't seemed to hit on the "new lease on life" energy. In fact, ever since, he has only been muddled deeper. Complaints of work issues, etc just repeat themselves without any change...it's like a broken record. I've tried the tough-love, playing devils advocate, and just listening and understanding...but nothing has changed one bit in months.
Two days ago, we sat at a bar one eve...he just sat and stared straight ahead, the misery emanating out of him was palpable. Since I had been locked into my own issues for a couple of days, his condition hit me like a ton of bricks when I realized that he was probably at his lowest point ever. Even as we were accompanied by a few young ladies, chatting the night away, he sat mostly silent and miserable.
It is difficult to be a participant, to see people you care about in pure misery. His birthday was just yesterday, and I sat there flummoxed b/c he didn't even want to celebrate it. And, I was almost at the point of dragging him home to my parents, or asking him to go get some help right away. I ended up having a mutual friend step in and take him to dinner and recommend some things. She shook him up pretty good, and it seem to really hit home. I also ignored his birthday wishes, and threw him a party at work, with also much success. Peers, friends, people celebrating help, even if they have no clue what is going on.
Moral of the story: I'm glad I didn't sit and watch. Even if they hate you forever, pissed them off, sometimes being concerned for their welfare and helping will still get them to where they want to go ultimately. Luckily, in this case, my brother wasn't too pissed that I took proactive approach.
Luckily, I got myself out of it, and am happier and healthier. I have a few friends that have their bouts these days, AND I even have off-days as well, it's all about keeping balance as life pitches up and downward. But, I beginning to notice that my brother is starting to fall into that place I was about 2-3 years ago. And, this affects me to the core, b/c of several issues...one, I live and work with him, so it's not like I see him every-so often. I see him everyday. And each day I do, and when I actually am not preoccupied with my own shit, I am startled and concerned even deeper.
He is someone who got cancer at only 26 years old, beat it, but hasn't seemed to hit on the "new lease on life" energy. In fact, ever since, he has only been muddled deeper. Complaints of work issues, etc just repeat themselves without any change...it's like a broken record. I've tried the tough-love, playing devils advocate, and just listening and understanding...but nothing has changed one bit in months.
Two days ago, we sat at a bar one eve...he just sat and stared straight ahead, the misery emanating out of him was palpable. Since I had been locked into my own issues for a couple of days, his condition hit me like a ton of bricks when I realized that he was probably at his lowest point ever. Even as we were accompanied by a few young ladies, chatting the night away, he sat mostly silent and miserable.
It is difficult to be a participant, to see people you care about in pure misery. His birthday was just yesterday, and I sat there flummoxed b/c he didn't even want to celebrate it. And, I was almost at the point of dragging him home to my parents, or asking him to go get some help right away. I ended up having a mutual friend step in and take him to dinner and recommend some things. She shook him up pretty good, and it seem to really hit home. I also ignored his birthday wishes, and threw him a party at work, with also much success. Peers, friends, people celebrating help, even if they have no clue what is going on.
Moral of the story: I'm glad I didn't sit and watch. Even if they hate you forever, pissed them off, sometimes being concerned for their welfare and helping will still get them to where they want to go ultimately. Luckily, in this case, my brother wasn't too pissed that I took proactive approach.