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+--- Thread: Drunk Driving Programs (/showthread.php?tid=2835)
Drunk Driving Programs - Black Lazerus - 03-11-2004
Quote:Originally posted by header
No, post it here bitch.
I think you er boys should throw header out and put Keyser in his place
Drunk Driving Programs - header - 03-11-2004
Isn't it sad that Keyzer was never considered.
Drunk Driving Programs - Topper Harley - 03-11-2004
keyser's never here, and he doesn't post pictures. having an ER at the end of your name doesn't automatically make you eligible.
Drunk Driving Programs - header - 03-11-2004
Yeah!
Drunk Driving Programs - Black Lazerus - 03-11-2004
he could be like shemp (sp?) from the 3 stooges
Drunk Driving Programs - Topper Harley - 03-11-2004
nope, TheDude is already shemp for when rooner is at CDIH.
Drunk Driving Programs - header - 03-11-2004
Laz is never here to have known that.
Drunk Driving Programs - Topper Harley - 03-11-2004
you ain't from around here, are ya boy?
Drunk Driving Programs - sweet angel - 03-11-2004
What's the difference between DWI and DUI?
Drunk Driving Programs - Rooner - 03-11-2004
At the request of Laz....
I was 19 out with 3 of my friends, driving around, drinking "foatees" and smoking a little weed. Standard shit. It was around 2 am and we went to 7-11. They were unloading the truck through the front door. In our drunken stupor, my genious friends decide it would be cool to steal some crates of ice tea. So I pull into the Boston Market next door to the 7-11, which is seperated by 6 foot hedges. So tweedle dee and tweedle dumb jump out, run around the bushes, wait for the driver to wheel in some stuff, and they grab some crates. Tweedle Dee has a crate of pints of ice tea. Tweedle Dumb, seeing theres no more ice tea, doesnt want to come away empty handed, so he grabs a crate of quarts of milk. The Rhodes Scholars throw the stuff in the trunk and off we go. Perfect crime. So we're riding around for about an hour more, and my one buddy calls it a night. I drive him home, and as Im driving away, the alcohol told me it would be a good idea to drive all the way up the block laying on the horn at 3:30AM. Well, I turn the corner and who happens to be there, but Mr Police Officer. So I take off, whip around the next corner, we all throw our 40s out the window, they smash in the street right in front his cruiser. So then I pull over. My buddy in the back, (2 weeks away from his 18th birthday, ran away from juvie about a month prior) starts saying his goodbyes, because he knows hes going away. Like a good friend, he says since hes getting locked up anyway, he'll take the rap for everything. The beer and the stolen crates. We came up with the genious idea that he told me he was throwing his bag in the trunk when he really threw the crates in. So the cops come up to the car, and only ask for my license and registration. They ask everyone their names, my boy in the back gives a fake name. A second patrol car pulls up. The cops converse. The second cop looks in the back window and says "Youre not Joe Schmoe, youre Jim Schmoe, we've been looking for you." So they pull him out of the car and lay him on the ground to cuff him. He comes out with the line of the year, as they lay him on the ground, in his best gay voice he goes "Im fragile, be gentle." The second cop gets a description of a car involved in a theft from 7-11 earlier in the evening. And as coincidence would have it, it match my car, go figure. So they pull me and my other buddy out, cuff us, search the car, find the crates. I play dumb and tell our story. So they take us all to the station and cuff us to the benches. They start questioning us. "You guys been drinking?" "Nope." "You sure." "Yup." But they dont give us breathalizers or anything. So after sitting there for about an hour, the urge to urinate became kinda strong. I ask to go, they uncuff me and let me go in the cell right outside the booking room so they can watch me. So after my 10 minute piss, the cop starts laughing and says "Yeah, you werent drinking, right." So after we were booked and everything they let us go to walk the 15 or so blocks back to my car. Said wed be getting our papers for our court dates. I never understood why they let us go, when it was obvious we were shitty, but they did. In retrospect, the cops were really cool about it. Ive had a lot worse experiences for doing less. So I get my court papers, and instead of my young boy being charged with everything, I am. Since I was driving, I got slapped with all the charges. DUI, Reckless Driving, Retail Theft, Disorderly Conduct, Contributing to the Delinquency of a Minor. Yeah, Im pretty much fucked. But I go to court, no lawyer or anything. Ready to take my lickins like a man. The assistant DA pulls me in a room and says "Look, I can get you out of here with a $250 DC fine and Minor Prohibited From Operating a Vehicle While Under the Influence, no loss of license." I jumped all over that like Michael Jackson on a 10 year old with down syndrome. I have never used my horn since.