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Drunk Girls Fights and Wanna Be Tough Guys - Printable Version

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Drunk Girls Fights and Wanna Be Tough Guys - Rooner - 06-17-2004

So there I was last night, sitting outside my Moms house. Here area is going through a slight urban decay. The neighborhood is going to shit. Anyway. These two women pull up and the driver (we'll call her Mary Cooney) gets out and goes in the house. The passenger (we'll call her Michelle Tyson) gets out and gets in the drivers seat. Cooney comes back out and reaches in the drivers window, trying to grab something. Tyson grabs her arm, and Cooney punches Tyson in the face with her other arm. Cooney then runs and tries to get back in the house. Tyson gets out and catches her on the stoop. What happened next is one of the best fights Ive ever seen. Well, calling it a fight is being generous to Cooney. Tyson reaches up and grabs Cooney by her neck and proceeds to lay right after right after right into her grill. Cooney is doing her best to push Tyson off, but Tyson is like a rabid pit bull. (meanwhile, Moms is out on the corner cheering like shes at a prize fight, I was so proud ) After about 25 punches to the face, Tyson calmly walks to her car and drives away. Cooney gets up and calls the cops. Around this time, Mr Im Fat with a Bald Head and Tattoos So That Makes Me Tough comes home from work. Ive had run ins with this guy before, hes good at intimidating women, thats about it. Anyway, he comes from his backyard screaming a stream of curse words. "IM GONNA FUCK SOMEONE UP, THIS IS BULLSHIT, MOTHERFUCKERS ARE GONNA PAY!!" What had this Blue Oyster Bar patron riled up? It seems one of the neighborhood kids took the cap off his oil tank. Yup. His rant continued. "IM SICK OF THIS FUCKING NEIGHBORHOOD, IM GONNA BURN ALL THE FUCKING HOUSES DOWN!!" All this time, Im looking and laughing at the guy. He doesnt like that very much. Little does he know, at this time, the cops pull up around the corner for the girl fight. He keeps running his mouth, walking down the street till he gets to the corner and then he sees OOPS, its the cops. He goes to turn around and walk away, but its too late, they are already on their way to have a little talk with him. I cant hear him talking to the cops, but I do see them turn him around, cuff him, and I get to hear ".....BUT THEY WERE FUCKING LAUGHING AT ME....." Ah good times, good times. Gotta love white trash for entertainment. Ive told my mom to get the hell out of the neighborhood before she cant sell her house, but she likes the drama. Oh well.


Drunk Girls Fights and Wanna Be Tough Guys - madmick - 06-17-2004

What did that asshole get locked up for any way?


Drunk Girls Fights and Wanna Be Tough Guys - Rooner - 06-17-2004

My guess would be Terroristic Threats. You can say youre gonna burn peoples houses down. Maybe DC.


Drunk Girls Fights and Wanna Be Tough Guys - Silera - 06-17-2004

Maybe he meant that since there was no cap on his gas tank, he was posing a fire hazard to his neighbors.

I'm sure he had the best intentions.


Drunk Girls Fights and Wanna Be Tough Guys - Rooner - 06-17-2004

Quote:Originally posted by Silera
Maybe he meant that since there was no cap on his gas tank, he was posing a fire hazard to his neighbors.

I'm sure he had the best intentions.

Boy is my face red, thats probably exactly it.


Drunk Girls Fights and Wanna Be Tough Guys - Silera - 06-17-2004

You should post his bail.


Drunk Girls Fights and Wanna Be Tough Guys - Rooner - 06-17-2004

Im so ashamed for laughing at him. He was concerned for our safety. I was just thrown off by all the profanity and spit.


Drunk Girls Fights and Wanna Be Tough Guys - madmick - 06-17-2004

Oil will not explode.

Next time pour some gasoline down it and be sure to bring the marshmallows.


Drunk Girls Fights and Wanna Be Tough Guys - Silera - 06-17-2004

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING!


Drunk Girls Fights and Wanna Be Tough Guys - Rooner - 06-17-2004

HEY NEIGHBOR, ARE THEY WOOD SHINGLES?