I own you all

[Black Lazerus]

Originally posted by KensPen
3. Laz must stand outside my office door with a lanturn in his hand.

Don't you mean Lantern.
Fucking dumbass
if your going to tell a racist joke get it right.



The White Gorilla:

A man read in the paper of a white gorilla in a zoo far away.
He decides that he just has to see it. When, at last, he sees
the white gorilla he can't believe his eyes. It's the most
but ugly thing he's ever seen. He simply must get a closer
look, so he goes to the zoo manager and begs to be allowed
into the gorilla's cage.

After much arguing, the man finally persuades the manager
to let him in to the gorilla's cage, but before he does, the
zoo manager tells the man that whatever he does, he must not,
under any circumstances, touch the white gorilla.

The man agrees and is led to the cage. He tip-toes into the
cage and is amazed. The gorilla is even more ugly up close
up than it was from a distance. The white gorilla just sits
quietly and looks at the man.

After a while the man gets used to being so close to the
gorilla and it seems so peaceful and calm that he starts to
think that there can't be any harm in touching the gorilla.
He slowly moves closer and closer to it, all the time the
white gorilla just looks calmly at him. He reaches out his
arm and gently touches the gorilla. Just as his hand makes
contact, the gorilla jumps up and starts roaring. The man
turns and runs to the exit, getting there just ahead of the
gorilla. He leaps through the door and the keepers slam the
door shut just in time. The gorilla pulls at the door and,
to the man's horror, the bars start to bend.

The man runs out of the zoo and to the train station and jumps
on the train, which as luck would have it is just leaving. He
glances back and can see the gorilla chasing after the train,
but not gaining on it. The man thinks he's safe at last. He
relaxes and starts to enjoy the leisurely ride home. As they
pull into the station, he's looking out the window when he sees
a small shape trailing behind the train. He can't quite make it
out so he borrows a pair of binoculars from someone. He focuses
the binoculars on the small shape and is horrified to discover
that it's the white gorilla!


The train stops, the man leaps off and rushes he to his car.
As he drives off he looks into his rearview mirror and sees
the gorilla climbing over the train yard fence. He drives as
fast as he can to his house and runs in, locking the door behind
him. The gorilla starts pounding on the door and having seen
what it did to the cage at the zoo the man knows it won't take
it very long to get in. He runs from room to room trying to
think of a place he can hide. He hears the door shatter and
dives into a wardrobe, pulling the door closed behind him.

Outside the gorilla is going mad trying to find the man. He's
ripping things up and tearing out doors. Finally, he comes to
the wardrobe the man is hiding in and rips the door off. The
gorilla sees the man, reaches out a massive hand, smiles and
gently touches the man and says:
"Hey you want to go out to lunch"!!!!