What brand do you smoke?

[kindred]

You can thank me now....

How to Smoke in Airplane Lavatories


Things to place in your carry-on bag:

*Duct tape
*Bowl (the lighter the better, a simple plastic soup bowl should suffice)
*Novelty Fart Spray (or a spray air-freshener as a weak alternative)
*Portable vacuum cleaner
*Mouthwash/mouth spray
*Your favorite pack of fags

What:
Successfully succumbing to your smoking urges in the luxurious confines of an airplane restroom.

How:
Once inside the lavatory, make sure that you lock your door. Next, locate the smoke detector and place the bowl under the detector, thereby encompassing the detector within the confines of the bowl. Tape the rim of the bowl to the wall/ceiling, making sure no gaps remain. If you wish to be extra cautious, tape over the edges of the lavatory door as well. As you light up, simply turn on the portable vacuum cleaner and let it suck up the smoke. After you’re done, and the smoke is successfully dissipated, spray the novelty fart spray throughout the lavatory (the novelty fart spray is a nice alternative to air freshener on account of the air freshener giving a greater indication of an attempt to cover up a smell, which of course may be your own bodily odor).

Finally, rinse with mouthwash/spray to get the odor off your own body, remove the tape/bowl, and walk out…And remember that a fine for tampering with the smoke detectors may be as much as $2000